Kids Rebel: Truth About Parenting, Energy & Authenticity

[Music] [Music] [Music] Hey everybody, welcome back to another Hey everybody, welcome back to another Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode of Integrative View Radio. You episode of Integrative View Radio. You episode of Integrative View Radio. You have Dr. Nicole and you have Clark Kent have Dr. Nicole and you have Clark Kent have Dr. Nicole and you have Clark Kent with us. with us. with us. For those of you that are on YouTube, For those of you that are on YouTube, For those of you that are on YouTube, you know what I mean? Because Dr. Nick you know what I mean? Because Dr. Nick you know what I mean? Because Dr. Nick puts on his glasses and it's literally puts on his glasses and it's literally puts on his glasses and it's literally like we went from Superman to Clark Ken, like we went from Superman to Clark Ken, like we went from Superman to Clark Ken, Superman to Clark, Clark to Superman. Superman to Clark, Clark to Superman. Superman to Clark, Clark to Superman. you know, you know, you know, my middle name is Clark. So, uh, so my middle name is Clark. So, uh, so my middle name is Clark. So, uh, so let's let's let's Oh, I didn't even really think about Oh, I didn't even really think about Oh, I didn't even really think about that. that. that. Let's go after it. Let's go after it. Let's go after it. U, so we're diving into a topic that got U, so we're diving into a topic that got U, so we're diving into a topic that got me a little heated the other day, maybe me a little heated the other day, maybe me a little heated the other day, maybe most days, as Dr. Nick would describe. most days, as Dr. Nick would describe. most days, as Dr. Nick would describe. Um, but it it was actually around uh Um, but it it was actually around uh Um, but it it was actually around uh parenting. And listen, we'll be parenting. And listen, we'll be parenting. And listen, we'll be transparent. We're not here to tell you transparent. We're not here to tell you transparent. We're not here to tell you how to parent by any means. But the main how to parent by any means. But the main how to parent by any means. But the main thing that I want to lead with here is thing that I want to lead with here is thing that I want to lead with here is actually uh a little story about myself. actually uh a little story about myself. actually uh a little story about myself. You know, you guys know that I love to You know, you guys know that I love to You know, you guys know that I love to to tell stories. And then to kind of to tell stories. And then to kind of to tell stories. And then to kind of spin that into giving you some different spin that into giving you some different spin that into giving you some different ways to think about why your kid might ways to think about why your kid might ways to think about why your kid might be firing back at you, might be a rebel, be firing back at you, might be a rebel, be firing back at you, might be a rebel, might be, you know, throwing fits, might be, you know, throwing fits, might be, you know, throwing fits, tantrums, being difficult, whatever you tantrums, being difficult, whatever you tantrums, being difficult, whatever you want to call it. want to call it. want to call it. And so I was And so I was And so I was because they're a Scorpio. Because because they're a Scorpio. Because because they're a Scorpio. Because they're a Scorpio. All right, everybody. they're a Scorpio. All right, everybody. they're a Scorpio. All right, everybody. That's it. That's it. That's it. Yeah. Well, don't get me wrong, okay? Yeah. Well, don't get me wrong, okay? Yeah. Well, don't get me wrong, okay? So, I am Italian, Puerto Rican, and a So, I am Italian, Puerto Rican, and a So, I am Italian, Puerto Rican, and a Scorpio. So, you know, it is it is quite Scorpio. So, you know, it is it is quite Scorpio. So, you know, it is it is quite the trifecta that my parents had to deal the trifecta that my parents had to deal the trifecta that my parents had to deal with, but I have thought long and hard with, but I have thought long and hard with, but I have thought long and hard about, you know, why was I such a about, you know, why was I such a about, you know, why was I such a rebellious, tough kid? And it's not rebellious, tough kid? And it's not rebellious, tough kid? And it's not because I just felt like it. And don't because I just felt like it. And don't because I just felt like it. And don't get me wrong, when you come when it get me wrong, when you come when it get me wrong, when you come when it comes to the health side of things, comes to the health side of things, comes to the health side of things, did I well found out way way later in did I well found out way way later in did I well found out way way later in life that I ended up having significant life that I ended up having significant life that I ended up having significant mercury toxicity, parasite infections in mercury toxicity, parasite infections in mercury toxicity, parasite infections in my gut. And I'm sure that created a my gut. And I'm sure that created a my gut. And I'm sure that created a significant issue when it came to the significant issue when it came to the significant issue when it came to the volatility of my moods. volatility of my moods. volatility of my moods. But when it came down to more of the But when it came down to more of the But when it came down to more of the environmental, environmental, environmental, you know, family dynamics, you know, family dynamics, you know, family dynamics, communication, interpersonal aspects of communication, interpersonal aspects of communication, interpersonal aspects of why I acted the way that I did and why I why I acted the way that I did and why I why I acted the way that I did and why I was so rebellious was was so rebellious was was so rebellious was not seeing a lot of integrity with what not seeing a lot of integrity with what not seeing a lot of integrity with what I was being told. And essentially, it's I was being told. And essentially, it's I was being told. And essentially, it's the idea of people walking their talk. I the idea of people walking their talk. I the idea of people walking their talk. I would be told don't curse and then my would be told don't curse and then my would be told don't curse and then my parents would be cursing at each other. parents would be cursing at each other. parents would be cursing at each other. I would be told be respectful to your I would be told be respectful to your I would be told be respectful to your mother, be respectful to your father as mother, be respectful to your father as mother, be respectful to your father as they would then disrespect each other. they would then disrespect each other. they would then disrespect each other. So there was a lot of lack of So there was a lot of lack of So there was a lot of lack of authenticity because they were telling authenticity because they were telling authenticity because they were telling us as kids to act a certain way, be a us as kids to act a certain way, be a us as kids to act a certain way, be a certain way, but they weren't being that certain way, but they weren't being that certain way, but they weren't being that way. way. way. And so, you know, it makes you think, And so, you know, it makes you think, And so, you know, it makes you think, well, I guess this is more unconscious well, I guess this is more unconscious well, I guess this is more unconscious as a young individual is you're as a young individual is you're as a young individual is you're watching, you're observing, because kids watching, you're observing, because kids watching, you're observing, because kids are watching and observing everything are watching and observing everything are watching and observing everything and and and you see those cracks and you're like, you see those cracks and you're like, you see those cracks and you're like, well, if they're going to say not to do well, if they're going to say not to do well, if they're going to say not to do that, but they do it, then that, but they do it, then that, but they do it, then I guess it's not that important. I guess I guess it's not that important. I guess I guess it's not that important. I guess I'll still do it. And it also again I'll still do it. And it also again I'll still do it. And it also again unconsciously as a child you're losing a unconsciously as a child you're losing a unconsciously as a child you're losing a bit of respect for your your elder, your bit of respect for your your elder, your bit of respect for your your elder, your parent. And that's why at times when parent. And that's why at times when parent. And that's why at times when when there's an altercation, they're when there's an altercation, they're when there's an altercation, they're quote unquote in your mind treating you quote unquote in your mind treating you quote unquote in your mind treating you with disrespect. And it's because with disrespect. And it's because with disrespect. And it's because there's this unconscious program in the there's this unconscious program in the there's this unconscious program in the back of they don't really do what they back of they don't really do what they back of they don't really do what they say. say. say. I don't have much respect for you. And I don't have much respect for you. And I don't have much respect for you. And there's a couple of other factors that there's a couple of other factors that there's a couple of other factors that we're going to get into in this podcast, we're going to get into in this podcast, we're going to get into in this podcast, but it's something that I think needs to but it's something that I think needs to but it's something that I think needs to be brought to the attention of adults is be brought to the attention of adults is be brought to the attention of adults is it's not about what you say, it's about it's not about what you say, it's about it's not about what you say, it's about what you do. And it's also about your what you do. And it's also about your what you do. And it's also about your energy. You know how many parents have energy. You know how many parents have energy. You know how many parents have said, "Well, we never fought in front of said, "Well, we never fought in front of said, "Well, we never fought in front of our kids." our kids." our kids." That doesn't matter. Your kids can feel That doesn't matter. Your kids can feel That doesn't matter. Your kids can feel the tension at the dinner table even the tension at the dinner table even the tension at the dinner table even though you just fought behind closed though you just fought behind closed though you just fought behind closed doors. Like, kids are not stupid. And I doors. Like, kids are not stupid. And I doors. Like, kids are not stupid. And I think that is something that think that is something that think that is something that conventional medicine has pedled to us conventional medicine has pedled to us conventional medicine has pedled to us that kids are totally unaware that that kids are totally unaware that that kids are totally unaware that they're unaware as infants. They don't they're unaware as infants. They don't they're unaware as infants. They don't know what's going on. They're unaware as know what's going on. They're unaware as know what's going on. They're unaware as toddlers. Like, they are so aware. toddlers. Like, they are so aware. toddlers. Like, they are so aware. They're more aware than Nick and I They're more aware than Nick and I They're more aware than Nick and I together in this moment. They're more together in this moment. They're more together in this moment. They're more aware than most adults because awareness aware than most adults because awareness aware than most adults because awareness has been ripped out of us. It's just go has been ripped out of us. It's just go has been ripped out of us. It's just go go go. Put your head down. Do do hustle go go. Put your head down. Do do hustle go go. Put your head down. Do do hustle hustle hustle. And kids still are using hustle hustle. And kids still are using hustle hustle. And kids still are using all of their senses. Adults aren't. all of their senses. Adults aren't. all of their senses. Adults aren't. Well, I don't know if I 100% agree with Well, I don't know if I 100% agree with Well, I don't know if I 100% agree with that last statement. that last statement. that last statement. You would love to do this on the You would love to do this on the You would love to do this on the challenge. Go ahead. Go ahead. Um, I challenge. Go ahead. Go ahead. Um, I challenge. Go ahead. Go ahead. Um, I think I think our people listening to us think I think our people listening to us think I think our people listening to us like to see a healthy disagreement. Um, like to see a healthy disagreement. Um, like to see a healthy disagreement. Um, and it's not that it's not that I don't and it's not that it's not that I don't and it's not that it's not that I don't think um adults necessarily aren't think um adults necessarily aren't think um adults necessarily aren't aware, but we've been programmed not to aware, but we've been programmed not to aware, but we've been programmed not to feel. feel. feel. And you know, when you think of a child, And you know, when you think of a child, And you know, when you think of a child, especially under the age of seven, it's especially under the age of seven, it's especially under the age of seven, it's all they're doing is collecting all they're doing is collecting all they're doing is collecting information to formulate their information to formulate their information to formulate their personality, to formulate their values, personality, to formulate their values, personality, to formulate their values, what's important to them, their what's important to them, their what's important to them, their programs, etc. And they programs, etc. And they programs, etc. And they haven't learned haven't learned haven't learned to quote unquote to not feel this, that to quote unquote to not feel this, that to quote unquote to not feel this, that even quote unquote outrage that that's a even quote unquote outrage that that's a even quote unquote outrage that that's a bad thing to do. Like they just they bad thing to do. Like they just they bad thing to do. Like they just they feel and they express. They don't hold feel and they express. They don't hold feel and they express. They don't hold back. back. back. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And us giants aka adults, we've taught And us giants aka adults, we've taught And us giants aka adults, we've taught ourselves or we've been taught or both ourselves or we've been taught or both ourselves or we've been taught or both to even if we feel to not express. So on to even if we feel to not express. So on to even if we feel to not express. So on a cellular level, it's you said um you a cellular level, it's you said um you a cellular level, it's you said um you know it's not what you say, it's what know it's not what you say, it's what know it's not what you say, it's what you do. But to even compound of that, you do. But to even compound of that, you do. But to even compound of that, it's not even what you do, but how you it's not even what you do, but how you it's not even what you do, but how you do it. Yeah, do it. Yeah, do it. Yeah, because sometimes, you know, it's like because sometimes, you know, it's like because sometimes, you know, it's like we did a past podcast on like I'm the we did a past podcast on like I'm the we did a past podcast on like I'm the great student, but it's like, great student, but it's like, great student, but it's like, you know, how did you do it? Were you you know, how did you do it? Were you you know, how did you do it? Were you doing it to be a good student? Were you doing it to be a good student? Were you doing it to be a good student? Were you doing it to like better the quality of doing it to like better the quality of doing it to like better the quality of your your your doing it out of inspiration versus doing it out of inspiration versus doing it out of inspiration versus desperation? Because you need to be a desperation? Because you need to be a desperation? Because you need to be a good student. good student. good student. And it's you can even go into looking And it's you can even go into looking And it's you can even go into looking at, you know, disciplining a child. It's at, you know, disciplining a child. It's at, you know, disciplining a child. It's more important of how you're more important of how you're more important of how you're disciplining the child. Are you doing it disciplining the child. Are you doing it disciplining the child. Are you doing it in that authoritative like because I in that authoritative like because I in that authoritative like because I said so or are you doing it to to said so or are you doing it to to said so or are you doing it to to actually connect and make sense so that actually connect and make sense so that actually connect and make sense so that they're growing their awareness and even they're growing their awareness and even they're growing their awareness and even if quote unquote it hurts it's out of if quote unquote it hurts it's out of if quote unquote it hurts it's out of love. love. love. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And it's not the it hurts because I'm And it's not the it hurts because I'm And it's not the it hurts because I'm [  ] fed up with you and I can't [  ] fed up with you and I can't [  ] fed up with you and I can't tolerate you anymore. It's no, like tolerate you anymore. It's no, like tolerate you anymore. It's no, like that's not okay. This is why you may not that's not okay. This is why you may not that's not okay. This is why you may not like it, but that's still okay. Like you like it, but that's still okay. Like you like it, but that's still okay. Like you can feel this. It's okay to feel this. can feel this. It's okay to feel this. can feel this. It's okay to feel this. We live in a duality. We feel both We live in a duality. We feel both We live in a duality. We feel both sides. We're never just going to sides. We're never just going to sides. We're never just going to exemplify one side of life. And if we exemplify one side of life. And if we exemplify one side of life. And if we try, we're gonna live in a nightmare. try, we're gonna live in a nightmare. try, we're gonna live in a nightmare. Both sides, the parent and the child. Both sides, the parent and the child. Both sides, the parent and the child. But this is exactly what you always say But this is exactly what you always say But this is exactly what you always say about the the polarization. So, we're about the the polarization. So, we're about the the polarization. So, we're millennials. Our parents are, you know, millennials. Our parents are, you know, millennials. Our parents are, you know, boomers. And that was the era of the boomers. And that was the era of the boomers. And that was the era of the authoritative disciplining. You know, authoritative disciplining. You know, authoritative disciplining. You know, it's because I said so. Respect your it's because I said so. Respect your it's because I said so. Respect your elders. Um, you know, a and it was just elders. Um, you know, a and it was just elders. Um, you know, a and it was just in some families, you know, if you don't in some families, you know, if you don't in some families, you know, if you don't listen, you're going to get, you know, listen, you're going to get, you know, listen, you're going to get, you know, hit with the wooden spoon or the broom hit with the wooden spoon or the broom hit with the wooden spoon or the broom or the belt, you know, like. And it was or the belt, you know, like. And it was or the belt, you know, like. And it was just like shut your mouth. And I'm the just like shut your mouth. And I'm the just like shut your mouth. And I'm the parent. I I make the rules here and parent. I I make the rules here and parent. I I make the rules here and that's the way that it goes. And now that's the way that it goes. And now that's the way that it goes. And now we're in an era of this, you know, very we're in an era of this, you know, very we're in an era of this, you know, very soft parenting that it's like we don't soft parenting that it's like we don't soft parenting that it's like we don't want to do any level of discipline. And want to do any level of discipline. And want to do any level of discipline. And it's it's essentially the the it's it's essentially the the it's it's essentially the the counterbalancing that's going on, but counterbalancing that's going on, but counterbalancing that's going on, but neither one of them are actually going neither one of them are actually going neither one of them are actually going to serve the purpose of creating great to serve the purpose of creating great to serve the purpose of creating great humans because that's not, you know, humans because that's not, you know, humans because that's not, you know, everything's a halftruth, as we always everything's a halftruth, as we always everything's a halftruth, as we always say. Like this is not about just giving say. Like this is not about just giving say. Like this is not about just giving your kid a ton of support and oh your kid a ton of support and oh your kid a ton of support and oh [Music] [Music] [Music] oh you know it's okay that you feel that oh you know it's okay that you feel that oh you know it's okay that you feel that way. It's okay that you did that. It's way. It's okay that you did that. It's way. It's okay that you did that. It's okay. It's okay that you're you know not okay. It's okay that you're you know not okay. It's okay that you're you know not achieving or you are achieving. Like achieving or you are achieving. Like achieving or you are achieving. Like it's they're here to have some level of it's they're here to have some level of it's they're here to have some level of wisdom from wisdom from wisdom from people that have had more life people that have had more life people that have had more life experiences. experiences. experiences. They do not have the ability to They do not have the ability to They do not have the ability to understand and process. And that's all understand and process. And that's all understand and process. And that's all they're trying to do is understand. So they're trying to do is understand. So they're trying to do is understand. So when parents or adults think, oh, you when parents or adults think, oh, you when parents or adults think, oh, you know, why are they such a pain in the know, why are they such a pain in the know, why are they such a pain in the ass? Why are they challenging me? ass? Why are they challenging me? ass? Why are they challenging me? Because they're asking all these Because they're asking all these Because they're asking all these questions. They're asking questions questions. They're asking questions questions. They're asking questions because of curiosity. They're asking because of curiosity. They're asking because of curiosity. They're asking questions because they they want to questions because they they want to questions because they they want to understand why they can't do that. They understand why they can't do that. They understand why they can't do that. They want to understand why they got in want to understand why they got in want to understand why they got in trouble. They want to understand, you trouble. They want to understand, you trouble. They want to understand, you know, and that's even something that um know, and that's even something that um know, and that's even something that um you know, I'll say certain personalities you know, I'll say certain personalities you know, I'll say certain personalities and certain uh maybe uh astrological and certain uh maybe uh astrological and certain uh maybe uh astrological signs need more of because even at signs need more of because even at signs need more of because even at times, you know, we are at fault. But I times, you know, we are at fault. But I times, you know, we are at fault. But I forget what was going on with you and forget what was going on with you and forget what was going on with you and Quentyn cuz you and Quentyn are so funny Quentyn cuz you and Quentyn are so funny Quentyn cuz you and Quentyn are so funny when you butt heads. And I laugh when when you butt heads. And I laugh when when you butt heads. And I laugh when you know a 40-year-old man is butting you know a 40-year-old man is butting you know a 40-year-old man is butting heads with a three and a half-year-old. heads with a three and a half-year-old. heads with a three and a half-year-old. And um oh he wanted to get out of his And um oh he wanted to get out of his And um oh he wanted to get out of his stroller and you were just like you stroller and you were just like you stroller and you were just like you can't get out of the stroller right this can't get out of the stroller right this can't get out of the stroller right this minute. And he was getting very very minute. And he was getting very very minute. And he was getting very very upset about it. And um I just I I said upset about it. And um I just I I said upset about it. And um I just I I said Nick I was like listen cuz Nick Q and I Nick I was like listen cuz Nick Q and I Nick I was like listen cuz Nick Q and I are three days apart in our birthdays. are three days apart in our birthdays. are three days apart in our birthdays. And I was like, "Listen." And I was like, "Listen." And I was like, "Listen." And they're both [  ] crazy. And they're both [  ] crazy. And they're both [  ] crazy. Oh, yeah. We're very intense. Very, very Oh, yeah. We're very intense. Very, very Oh, yeah. We're very intense. Very, very intense. And I was just like, "You, he's intense. And I was just like, "You, he's intense. And I was just like, "You, he's gonna lose his [  ] until he can gonna lose his [  ] until he can gonna lose his [  ] until he can understand why he can't get out of the understand why he can't get out of the understand why he can't get out of the stroller and when he can get out of the stroller and when he can get out of the stroller and when he can get out of the stroller." I was like, "So, just explain stroller." I was like, "So, just explain stroller." I was like, "So, just explain those two things to him, and I swear he those two things to him, and I swear he those two things to him, and I swear he will be fine." And that's exactly what will be fine." And that's exactly what will be fine." And that's exactly what happened. He pretty much explained it. happened. He pretty much explained it. happened. He pretty much explained it. He said, "We're going to get to this He said, "We're going to get to this He said, "We're going to get to this point on the road and then you can get point on the road and then you can get point on the road and then you can get out." And he was like, "Okay." out." And he was like, "Okay." out." And he was like, "Okay." And so he just wanted to understand. He And so he just wanted to understand. He And so he just wanted to understand. He didn't understand. He felt like he was didn't understand. He felt like he was didn't understand. He felt like he was being trapped inside of the stroller being trapped inside of the stroller being trapped inside of the stroller because, you know, he was all buckled in because, you know, he was all buckled in because, you know, he was all buckled in and he just didn't understand why. So, I and he just didn't understand why. So, I and he just didn't understand why. So, I found that to be, you know, it's so found that to be, you know, it's so found that to be, you know, it's so interesting because as I'm we're interesting because as I'm we're interesting because as I'm we're navigating these things, it's making me navigating these things, it's making me navigating these things, it's making me think about think about think about where things went wrong when I was a where things went wrong when I was a where things went wrong when I was a young kid is that I was quote unquote young kid is that I was quote unquote young kid is that I was quote unquote pushing back, but really I just didn't pushing back, but really I just didn't pushing back, but really I just didn't understand. Something didn't make sense understand. Something didn't make sense understand. Something didn't make sense to me. I'm very big on everything making to me. I'm very big on everything making to me. I'm very big on everything making sense. And it was just if you can help sense. And it was just if you can help sense. And it was just if you can help me understand, you know, why I can't do me understand, you know, why I can't do me understand, you know, why I can't do this or why I can't have the sleepover this or why I can't have the sleepover this or why I can't have the sleepover or why you can't drive me here, I'm or why you can't drive me here, I'm or why you can't drive me here, I'm going to shut up and leave you alone. going to shut up and leave you alone. going to shut up and leave you alone. But if I think you're just kind of being But if I think you're just kind of being But if I think you're just kind of being an [  ] to me because you want to an [  ] to me because you want to an [  ] to me because you want to because you're in a bad mood or having a because you're in a bad mood or having a because you're in a bad mood or having a bad day, then now I'm gonna bad day, then now I'm gonna bad day, then now I'm gonna make your life by living hell. make your life by living hell. make your life by living hell. And it's nothing's black and white. You And it's nothing's black and white. You And it's nothing's black and white. You know, sometimes it goes know, sometimes it goes know, sometimes it goes easy like it did for Q in the stroller easy like it did for Q in the stroller easy like it did for Q in the stroller in that moment of course. in that moment of course. in that moment of course. And sometimes even if a they understand And sometimes even if a they understand And sometimes even if a they understand or b it's their choice, sometimes they or b it's their choice, sometimes they or b it's their choice, sometimes they don't want to understand. don't want to understand. don't want to understand. Um so I always a big thing I've been Um so I always a big thing I've been Um so I always a big thing I've been teaching Q uh lately is teaching Q uh lately is teaching Q uh lately is there's always a way. there's always a way. there's always a way. And this is important. I think I'm And this is important. I think I'm And this is important. I think I'm teaching him this as much as I'm teaching him this as much as I'm teaching him this as much as I'm teaching compounding strengthening. My teaching compounding strengthening. My teaching compounding strengthening. My understanding of this is that there's understanding of this is that there's understanding of this is that there's always a way. So if I'm trying to always a way. So if I'm trying to always a way. So if I'm trying to communicate with him or I'm trying if I communicate with him or I'm trying if I communicate with him or I'm trying if I have this objective goal and it's not have this objective goal and it's not have this objective goal and it's not working out, well the definition of working out, well the definition of working out, well the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over insanity is doing the same thing over insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different and over and expecting a different and over and expecting a different result. So, let's try it differently and result. So, let's try it differently and result. So, let's try it differently and let's pause for a second and be like, am let's pause for a second and be like, am let's pause for a second and be like, am I communicating with his values? I communicating with his values? I communicating with his values? Can I can I communicate better with his Can I can I communicate better with his Can I can I communicate better with his values? values? values? Especially young people, they understand Especially young people, they understand Especially young people, they understand symbolism. So, it's like he loves symbolism. So, it's like he loves symbolism. So, it's like he loves dinosaurs. Let's put it in the dinosaurs. Let's put it in the dinosaurs. Let's put it in the perspective of a dinosaur. You know, perspective of a dinosaur. You know, perspective of a dinosaur. You know, let's connect through that way. Like, let's connect through that way. Like, let's connect through that way. Like, what's he what's he what's he We use the dinosaurs a lot. How can how We use the dinosaurs a lot. How can how We use the dinosaurs a lot. How can how can I just best connect so he can can I just best connect so he can can I just best connect so he can actually understand? actually understand? actually understand? And you know whether it's a child, And you know whether it's a child, And you know whether it's a child, whether it's adult, a lot of times when whether it's adult, a lot of times when whether it's adult, a lot of times when it's the person, they they put up a it's the person, they they put up a it's the person, they they put up a guard cuz they feel like they're being guard cuz they feel like they're being guard cuz they feel like they're being attacked. Even if it's the the goal is attacked. Even if it's the the goal is attacked. Even if it's the the goal is from love to try to better, to try to from love to try to better, to try to from love to try to better, to try to protect, to try to serve. So if if we protect, to try to serve. So if if we protect, to try to serve. So if if we can give the analogy and quote unquote can give the analogy and quote unquote can give the analogy and quote unquote instead of coming through the front instead of coming through the front instead of coming through the front door, go through a side door or a back door, go through a side door or a back door, go through a side door or a back door. So they're more um not going to be door. So they're more um not going to be door. So they're more um not going to be as threatened then as threatened then as threatened then we actually we actually we actually can start making a change can start making a change can start making a change and that's always the goal is you know and that's always the goal is you know and that's always the goal is you know to to just create a little change first. to to just create a little change first. to to just create a little change first. You know we always want initial big You know we always want initial big You know we always want initial big results right away. A lot of times in results right away. A lot of times in results right away. A lot of times in life that's not how it works you know. life that's not how it works you know. life that's not how it works you know. So you just have to start somewhere So you just have to start somewhere So you just have to start somewhere small and then compound that and and small and then compound that and and small and then compound that and and then eventually you get to where you then eventually you get to where you then eventually you get to where you want. Took a little longer than quote want. Took a little longer than quote want. Took a little longer than quote unquote you're like oh my god kind of unquote you're like oh my god kind of unquote you're like oh my god kind of exhausted after that. But uh but it's exhausted after that. But uh but it's exhausted after that. But uh but it's also very rewarding because when you also very rewarding because when you also very rewarding because when you think about think about think about taking the time taking the time taking the time to how it's not what you do but how you to how it's not what you do but how you to how it's not what you do but how you do it. taking the time to really make a do it. taking the time to really make a do it. taking the time to really make a difference difference difference that actually that actually that actually y y y can change how a person's genes are can change how a person's genes are can change how a person's genes are expressing expressing expressing because you're actually showing and it's because you're actually showing and it's because you're actually showing and it's like I joke I've been calling Q um we like I joke I've been calling Q um we like I joke I've been calling Q um we call Nicole's dad big dog and or you call Nicole's dad big dog and or you call Nicole's dad big dog and or you know lately I've been calling big dog or know lately I've been calling big dog or know lately I've been calling big dog or Pete Rivera cuz I see expressions of Pete Rivera cuz I see expressions of Pete Rivera cuz I see expressions of Nicole's dad and he hasn't even spent Nicole's dad and he hasn't even spent Nicole's dad and he hasn't even spent tons of time with Nicole's dad. tons of time with Nicole's dad. tons of time with Nicole's dad. Mhm. Mhm. Mhm. But a lot of those traits being passed But a lot of those traits being passed But a lot of those traits being passed down uh through the genes are expressing down uh through the genes are expressing down uh through the genes are expressing itself. itself. itself. And when we can love that part, well And when we can love that part, well And when we can love that part, well then we can actually help balance out then we can actually help balance out then we can actually help balance out that gene expression, that gene expression, that gene expression, which is kind of crazy. And we could get which is kind of crazy. And we could get which is kind of crazy. And we could get into the science of it, but I don't into the science of it, but I don't into the science of it, but I don't think that's the purpose of this podcast think that's the purpose of this podcast think that's the purpose of this podcast today. today. today. It's actually funny. I'm gonna go there It's actually funny. I'm gonna go there It's actually funny. I'm gonna go there right now because I was just thinking right now because I was just thinking right now because I was just thinking about that this in this moment. So about that this in this moment. So about that this in this moment. So talking about that, we do want to do a talking about that, we do want to do a talking about that, we do want to do a separate podcast on it because it's so separate podcast on it because it's so separate podcast on it because it's so layered, but now that you said it, you layered, but now that you said it, you layered, but now that you said it, you know, a lot of people, they talk about know, a lot of people, they talk about know, a lot of people, they talk about family history from a perspective of of family history from a perspective of of family history from a perspective of of health and, you know, they think it's health and, you know, they think it's health and, you know, they think it's inevitable that they're going to get inevitable that they're going to get inevitable that they're going to get certain diseases or have different certain diseases or have different certain diseases or have different expressions. Um but when it comes to expressions. Um but when it comes to expressions. Um but when it comes to this idea of um this idea of um this idea of um things that are passed down sometimes things that are passed down sometimes things that are passed down sometimes it's not necessarily just genetic but it's not necessarily just genetic but it's not necessarily just genetic but there's also this like energetic imprint there's also this like energetic imprint there's also this like energetic imprint and and and Quentyn Quentyn Quentyn if you want to research it's called a if you want to research it's called a if you want to research it's called a myasm. myasm. myasm. Yeah. So look up myasm. Quentyn did not Yeah. So look up myasm. Quentyn did not Yeah. So look up myasm. Quentyn did not spend barely any time at all with your spend barely any time at all with your spend barely any time at all with your dad with the exception of one week in dad with the exception of one week in dad with the exception of one week in South Carolina since he was born. And South Carolina since he was born. And South Carolina since he was born. And there was a phase that Quentyn was going there was a phase that Quentyn was going there was a phase that Quentyn was going through that he would he didn't want through that he would he didn't want through that he would he didn't want anything green. Like if we made him anything green. Like if we made him anything green. Like if we made him chicken and there was a piece of parsley chicken and there was a piece of parsley chicken and there was a piece of parsley on it as a garnish, he wouldn't eat it. on it as a garnish, he wouldn't eat it. on it as a garnish, he wouldn't eat it. And that is Nick's dad. He literally his And that is Nick's dad. He literally his And that is Nick's dad. He literally his whole life would not eat anything green. whole life would not eat anything green. whole life would not eat anything green. And he would go to a restaurant, if And he would go to a restaurant, if And he would go to a restaurant, if something green was on the plate, he'd something green was on the plate, he'd something green was on the plate, he'd send it back. Um, like a garnish, send it back. Um, like a garnish, send it back. Um, like a garnish, meaning not not broccoli, just anything meaning not not broccoli, just anything meaning not not broccoli, just anything green. And I remember when Quentyn green. And I remember when Quentyn green. And I remember when Quentyn showcased this, I was like, you how how showcased this, I was like, you how how showcased this, I was like, you how how is this even possible? Like, this is is this even possible? Like, this is is this even possible? Like, this is wild. wild. wild. And your dad was just here and he ate And your dad was just here and he ate And your dad was just here and he ate everything I made. He did not [  ] or everything I made. He did not [  ] or everything I made. He did not [  ] or moan about anything green. He ate pesto moan about anything green. He ate pesto moan about anything green. He ate pesto one day. He ate vegetables. He because I one day. He ate vegetables. He because I one day. He ate vegetables. He because I just said, "Bud, you're in my house. I'm just said, "Bud, you're in my house. I'm just said, "Bud, you're in my house. I'm not making you anything special and not making you anything special and not making you anything special and you're going to eat green shit." That's you're going to eat green shit." That's you're going to eat green shit." That's what it comes down to. Quentyn has been what it comes down to. Quentyn has been what it comes down to. Quentyn has been eating so much more since that. eating so much more since that. eating so much more since that. Mhm. Mhm. Mhm. We broke a cycle. Holy [  ] We broke a cycle. Holy [  ] We broke a cycle. Holy [  ] Well, Well, Well, like I'm I'm literally like holy [  ] like I'm I'm literally like holy [  ] like I'm I'm literally like holy [  ] right now because Quentyn was lit. We right now because Quentyn was lit. We right now because Quentyn was lit. We were like, "How is this possible that were like, "How is this possible that were like, "How is this possible that we're the biggest foodies on the planet we're the biggest foodies on the planet we're the biggest foodies on the planet and our kid won't eat anything?" And and our kid won't eat anything?" And and our kid won't eat anything?" And literally your dad came and he ate all literally your dad came and he ate all literally your dad came and he ate all the things and now Quentyn is eating so the things and now Quentyn is eating so the things and now Quentyn is eating so much more. Like, wow. much more. Like, wow. much more. Like, wow. Mhm. Mhm. Mhm. Yeah. We'll talk more about this in our Yeah. We'll talk more about this in our Yeah. We'll talk more about this in our next podcast, but the only way to to next podcast, but the only way to to next podcast, but the only way to to truly heal others, specifically family, truly heal others, specifically family, truly heal others, specifically family, is healing yourself. And in that is healing yourself. And in that is healing yourself. And in that instance, my dad healed a part of him instance, my dad healed a part of him instance, my dad healed a part of him and and and his genes that are being expressed in Q his genes that are being expressed in Q his genes that are being expressed in Q changed. Um, which is pretty wild. changed. Um, which is pretty wild. changed. Um, which is pretty wild. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What's also fun is we have the powers in What's also fun is we have the powers in What's also fun is we have the powers in energies birectional that we can change energies birectional that we can change energies birectional that we can change and that goes actually both into the and that goes actually both into the and that goes actually both into the past and to the future. So it changes past and to the future. So it changes past and to the future. So it changes generations back but also changes generations back but also changes generations back but also changes generations generations generations ahead of us. Well, speaking of of that ahead of us. Well, speaking of of that ahead of us. Well, speaking of of that idea, you know, as we get back on topic idea, you know, as we get back on topic idea, you know, as we get back on topic here is a lot of times we want to here is a lot of times we want to here is a lot of times we want to we want to influence our kids. We I we want to influence our kids. We I we want to influence our kids. We I don't want to say control our kids and don't want to say control our kids and don't want to say control our kids and maybe in some aspects we're trying to maybe in some aspects we're trying to maybe in some aspects we're trying to control their outcomes. control their outcomes. control their outcomes. We want to intelligently [  ] them up. We want to intelligently [  ] them up. We want to intelligently [  ] them up. But But But one of the major things that you need to one of the major things that you need to one of the major things that you need to take away from this podcast is that you take away from this podcast is that you take away from this podcast is that you as a parent, you can only really be in as a parent, you can only really be in as a parent, you can only really be in control of yourself. And that's really control of yourself. And that's really control of yourself. And that's really the whole point here is that if you can the whole point here is that if you can the whole point here is that if you can show up differently and you can show up show up differently and you can show up show up differently and you can show up as the best version of yourself, that is as the best version of yourself, that is as the best version of yourself, that is going to make the absolute biggest going to make the absolute biggest going to make the absolute biggest impact on your children. And this has impact on your children. And this has impact on your children. And this has shown shown shown in the now 14 years that we have been in the now 14 years that we have been in the now 14 years that we have been working with families because there was working with families because there was working with families because there was a period of time that we really only a period of time that we really only a period of time that we really only worked we would work with the kid and we worked we would work with the kid and we worked we would work with the kid and we wouldn't necessarily work with the wouldn't necessarily work with the wouldn't necessarily work with the parents. Now anytime that we bring on a parents. Now anytime that we bring on a parents. Now anytime that we bring on a child we work with the parents as well child we work with the parents as well child we work with the parents as well and it's because they are a genetic and it's because they are a genetic and it's because they are a genetic blueprint of both parents. They are also blueprint of both parents. They are also blueprint of both parents. They are also in they're very heavily influenced by in they're very heavily influenced by in they're very heavily influenced by the energy dynamics and personality the energy dynamics and personality the energy dynamics and personality dynamics and belief dynamics of the dynamics and belief dynamics of the dynamics and belief dynamics of the family. And so it's important for the family. And so it's important for the family. And so it's important for the parents to know how they're playing a parents to know how they're playing a parents to know how they're playing a role in their child's outcomes, good or role in their child's outcomes, good or role in their child's outcomes, good or bad. bad. bad. And so the main things that we want you And so the main things that we want you And so the main things that we want you to understand is that kids crave to understand is that kids crave to understand is that kids crave understanding. And so if you can meet understanding. And so if you can meet understanding. And so if you can meet them in the middle, as Dr. Nick was them in the middle, as Dr. Nick was them in the middle, as Dr. Nick was saying with how to communicate with saying with how to communicate with saying with how to communicate with them, whatever they like. If if they're them, whatever they like. If if they're them, whatever they like. If if they're into dinos at the time, if they're into into dinos at the time, if they're into into dinos at the time, if they're into baseball at the time, if you can use baseball at the time, if you can use baseball at the time, if you can use that as a context to tell a story to that as a context to tell a story to that as a context to tell a story to help them understand help them understand help them understand something, if it's something that you something, if it's something that you something, if it's something that you don't want them to do, if it's something don't want them to do, if it's something don't want them to do, if it's something you do want them to do, and you know, you do want them to do, and you know, you do want them to do, and you know, and and let it sit and surrender to them and and let it sit and surrender to them and and let it sit and surrender to them getting it or not getting it. It's just getting it or not getting it. It's just getting it or not getting it. It's just like don't think like, oh, because I'm like don't think like, oh, because I'm like don't think like, oh, because I'm going to now show up differently and I'm going to now show up differently and I'm going to now show up differently and I'm going to make an effort to explain going to make an effort to explain going to make an effort to explain something. It doesn't mean the first something. It doesn't mean the first something. It doesn't mean the first time you do it or the last time you do time you do it or the last time you do time you do it or the last time you do it that they're going to be like, thank it that they're going to be like, thank it that they're going to be like, thank you so much. I totally understand that. you so much. I totally understand that. you so much. I totally understand that. They might need a few days to process They might need a few days to process They might need a few days to process it. They might tell you to screw off and it. They might tell you to screw off and it. They might tell you to screw off and in one year they might be like, "Wow, in one year they might be like, "Wow, in one year they might be like, "Wow, that was a really amazing lesson, Mom that was a really amazing lesson, Mom that was a really amazing lesson, Mom and Dad." and Dad." and Dad." But at the same time, it's most of what But at the same time, it's most of what But at the same time, it's most of what kids feel kids feel kids feel isn't words. like they don't understand isn't words. like they don't understand isn't words. like they don't understand everything we're saying. everything we're saying. everything we're saying. What they understand is how we're saying What they understand is how we're saying What they understand is how we're saying it, how we're expressing oursel. They it, how we're expressing oursel. They it, how we're expressing oursel. They every the cells communicate, every every the cells communicate, every every the cells communicate, every single cell in your body communicates single cell in your body communicates single cell in your body communicates through a vibration and that's how cells through a vibration and that's how cells through a vibration and that's how cells speak together. So, and it's been shown speak together. So, and it's been shown speak together. So, and it's been shown that, you know, you can actually turn on that, you know, you can actually turn on that, you know, you can actually turn on a virus embedded because there's more 10 a virus embedded because there's more 10 a virus embedded because there's more 10 times more viral DNA in every single DNA times more viral DNA in every single DNA times more viral DNA in every single DNA than human DNA. But they speak through than human DNA. But they speak through than human DNA. But they speak through vibrations. Everything speaks through vibrations. Everything speaks through vibrations. Everything speaks through vibrations on that cellular very small vibrations on that cellular very small vibrations on that cellular very small level. and person to person that's how level. and person to person that's how level. and person to person that's how initially like you know somebody walks initially like you know somebody walks initially like you know somebody walks in a room and it changes the energy in a room and it changes the energy in a room and it changes the energy that's the vibration coming that your that's the vibration coming that your that's the vibration coming that your cells are actually picking up. So, it's cells are actually picking up. So, it's cells are actually picking up. So, it's more of how you're showing up and if more of how you're showing up and if more of how you're showing up and if you're taking the time you're taking the time you're taking the time y y y to actually deliver something through to actually deliver something through to actually deliver something through love, through slowing down, through love, through slowing down, through love, through slowing down, through really wanting to make a change, not really wanting to make a change, not really wanting to make a change, not just like you said for that initial just like you said for that initial just like you said for that initial outcome, but to because you're wanting outcome, but to because you're wanting outcome, but to because you're wanting to serve and help to make that child to serve and help to make that child to serve and help to make that child better while making yourself better. better while making yourself better. better while making yourself better. That's going to change the energy that That's going to change the energy that That's going to change the energy that they're going to pick up. they're going to pick up. they're going to pick up. Yep. And even if they, like they said, Yep. And even if they, like they said, Yep. And even if they, like they said, even if they don't understand, even if they don't understand, even if they don't understand, that calming sensation, that grounding that calming sensation, that grounding that calming sensation, that grounding energy from you is what's actually going energy from you is what's actually going energy from you is what's actually going to probably make the most amount of to probably make the most amount of to probably make the most amount of change. change. change. 100%. And I think that going along with 100%. And I think that going along with 100%. And I think that going along with that, it's it's the idea of that, it's it's the idea of that, it's it's the idea of treating a child as an equal. um which I treating a child as an equal. um which I treating a child as an equal. um which I know that I didn't grow up with that know that I didn't grow up with that know that I didn't grow up with that idea, but being able to say, you know, idea, but being able to say, you know, idea, but being able to say, you know, not treat them that as they're lesser not treat them that as they're lesser not treat them that as they're lesser than and that you're the authority. If than and that you're the authority. If than and that you're the authority. If you can go in and with the energy of I'm you can go in and with the energy of I'm you can go in and with the energy of I'm going to talk to you with going to talk to you with going to talk to you with compassion, I'm going to talk to you as compassion, I'm going to talk to you as compassion, I'm going to talk to you as an equal. That's a very very different an equal. That's a very very different an equal. That's a very very different energy that's going to be absorbed and energy that's going to be absorbed and energy that's going to be absorbed and felt by your child opposed to you felt by your child opposed to you felt by your child opposed to you talking down to them that you're bigger, talking down to them that you're bigger, talking down to them that you're bigger, better, and smarter. better, and smarter. better, and smarter. Well, and let's be honest, the one of Well, and let's be honest, the one of Well, and let's be honest, the one of the best things about having children is the best things about having children is the best things about having children is that it actually gives you an that it actually gives you an that it actually gives you an opportunity to heal yourself because you opportunity to heal yourself because you opportunity to heal yourself because you get to respond how you wanted to be get to respond how you wanted to be get to respond how you wanted to be responded to. And when you can actually responded to. And when you can actually responded to. And when you can actually deliver that way, well then you're deliver that way, well then you're deliver that way, well then you're giving yourself. They're half your DNA. giving yourself. They're half your DNA. giving yourself. They're half your DNA. You're giving yourself what you really You're giving yourself what you really You're giving yourself what you really wanted to receive when you were a child. wanted to receive when you were a child. wanted to receive when you were a child. And when you can have that and And when you can have that and And when you can have that and experience that, not only just from experience that, not only just from experience that, not only just from giving because we can't give what we giving because we can't give what we giving because we can't give what we don't have. don't have. don't have. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So you have to initially change who you So you have to initially change who you So you have to initially change who you are to receive that to be able to give are to receive that to be able to give are to receive that to be able to give that. And then you give that and then that. And then you give that and then that. And then you give that and then you gave that to them which actually you gave that to them which actually you gave that to them which actually you're giving back to you. It's kind of you're giving back to you. It's kind of you're giving back to you. It's kind of a mind [  ] but a mind [  ] but a mind [ __ ] but through that process there's healing through that process there's healing through that process there's healing and that's and that's and that's but it's not even as a kid. It's it's an but it's not even as a kid. It's it's an but it's not even as a kid. It's it's an adult too. You know a conversation that adult too. You know a conversation that adult too. You know a conversation that I had with a client the other day. I go I had with a client the other day. I go I had with a client the other day. I go imagine if someone spoke to you that imagine if someone spoke to you that imagine if someone spoke to you that way. Imagine your boss was like, "We'll way. Imagine your boss was like, "We'll way. Imagine your boss was like, "We'll see." Or, "Because I said so. Do this see." Or, "Because I said so. Do this see." Or, "Because I said so. Do this because I said so." Can you imagine? because I said so." Can you imagine? because I said so." Can you imagine? I'm sure there's bosses out there. I'm sure there's bosses out there. I'm sure there's bosses out there. That's That's That's I know. But but the point is is that I know. But but the point is is that I know. But but the point is is that you're turning around going, "Fuck you." you're turning around going, "Fuck you." you're turning around going, "Fuck you." Like, like, you're not you're not like, Like, like, you're not you're not like, Like, like, you're not you're not like, "Oh, okay. It's because you said so. "Oh, okay. It's because you said so. "Oh, okay. It's because you said so. Thank you so much. Have a lovely day." Thank you so much. Have a lovely day." Thank you so much. Have a lovely day." And you're even if you did say, And you're even if you did say, And you're even if you did say, "I'm gonna give you my best. You know, "I'm gonna give you my best. You know, "I'm gonna give you my best. You know, I'm I'm really gonna show up." you have I'm I'm really gonna show up." you have I'm I'm really gonna show up." you have like I think that if you take away one like I think that if you take away one like I think that if you take away one thing from this entire podcast, it's thing from this entire podcast, it's thing from this entire podcast, it's that when you how you show up and then that when you how you show up and then that when you how you show up and then if your kid again rebelss, disrespect if your kid again rebelss, disrespect if your kid again rebelss, disrespect you or um is unreceptive. you or um is unreceptive. you or um is unreceptive. Think about it. How would you feel if Think about it. How would you feel if Think about it. How would you feel if someone spoke to you that way? And this someone spoke to you that way? And this someone spoke to you that way? And this is this is mainly what I was leading is this is mainly what I was leading is this is mainly what I was leading with with the awareness aspect is that with with the awareness aspect is that with with the awareness aspect is that we need to be aware of how we are we need to be aware of how we are we need to be aware of how we are speaking because this happens also in speaking because this happens also in speaking because this happens also in marital dynamics. You think about like marital dynamics. You think about like marital dynamics. You think about like husbands and wives will bring so much husbands and wives will bring so much husbands and wives will bring so much emotion to the table when they're trying emotion to the table when they're trying emotion to the table when they're trying to have a conversation. to have a conversation. to have a conversation. And you would never do that with your And you would never do that with your And you would never do that with your boss. You would rein it in. you know, boss. You would rein it in. you know, boss. You would rein it in. you know, you would go in and you would practice you would go in and you would practice you would go in and you would practice how you're going to show up dip how you're going to show up dip how you're going to show up dip diplomatically non-emotional, but for diplomatically non-emotional, but for diplomatically non-emotional, but for some reason, you know, we put all the some reason, you know, we put all the some reason, you know, we put all the emotions on the table when we're trying emotions on the table when we're trying emotions on the table when we're trying to have a constructive conversation with to have a constructive conversation with to have a constructive conversation with our family, if it's our kids or our our family, if it's our kids or our our family, if it's our kids or our partners. So partners. So partners. So overall, you know, the last thing that I overall, you know, the last thing that I overall, you know, the last thing that I want to leave you with is want to leave you with is want to leave you with is practice what you preach because you practice what you preach because you practice what you preach because you will gain so much more respect from your will gain so much more respect from your will gain so much more respect from your kids when they actually see you showing kids when they actually see you showing kids when they actually see you showing up how you want them to show up and up how you want them to show up and up how you want them to show up and admit when you're wrong. That level of admit when you're wrong. That level of admit when you're wrong. That level of accountability is huge. You know, accountability is huge. You know, accountability is huge. You know, especially if you have a kid right now especially if you have a kid right now especially if you have a kid right now that's hiding stuff, even if they're that's hiding stuff, even if they're that's hiding stuff, even if they're super little, they broke a toy and super little, they broke a toy and super little, they broke a toy and they're hiding it or, you know, they they're hiding it or, you know, they they're hiding it or, you know, they they're lying about things big or small. they're lying about things big or small. they're lying about things big or small. It's if you can't admit when you're It's if you can't admit when you're It's if you can't admit when you're wrong, if that's in your relationship wrong, if that's in your relationship wrong, if that's in your relationship with your partner, if that's with your with your partner, if that's with your with your partner, if that's with your kids, that's going to play a huge role kids, that's going to play a huge role kids, that's going to play a huge role in why they're acting that way. in why they're acting that way. in why they're acting that way. Yeah. If you can't be vulnerable, Yeah. If you can't be vulnerable, Yeah. If you can't be vulnerable, they're not going to know how to be they're not going to know how to be they're not going to know how to be vulnerable, you know. It's we we have to vulnerable, you know. It's we we have to vulnerable, you know. It's we we have to be the image of the best part of them, you know, and the best part of them, you know, and the best part of them, you know, and that's our opportunity. that's our opportunity. that's our opportunity. Yeah. Yeah. And it's the same thing. I I Yeah. Yeah. And it's the same thing. I I Yeah. Yeah. And it's the same thing. I I always laugh when I see parents like, always laugh when I see parents like, always laugh when I see parents like, "Get off the phone. You don't need the "Get off the phone. You don't need the "Get off the phone. You don't need the tablet." And then they're on their phone tablet." And then they're on their phone tablet." And then they're on their phone at the dinner table like, "Oh, I got a at the dinner table like, "Oh, I got a at the dinner table like, "Oh, I got a couple emails, just a few things." And couple emails, just a few things." And couple emails, just a few things." And it's like they think, "Oh, well, it's it's like they think, "Oh, well, it's it's like they think, "Oh, well, it's important because it's for work, so I important because it's for work, so I important because it's for work, so I should be on the phone." Or, "Grandma's should be on the phone." Or, "Grandma's should be on the phone." Or, "Grandma's in the hospital, so I need to have my in the hospital, so I need to have my in the hospital, so I need to have my phone and I need to be attached to my phone and I need to be attached to my phone and I need to be attached to my phone." It doesn't matter. Your kid phone." It doesn't matter. Your kid phone." It doesn't matter. Your kid doesn't understand that maybe you have doesn't understand that maybe you have doesn't understand that maybe you have an important contract that's going an important contract that's going an important contract that's going through at work. Like, if you're on the through at work. Like, if you're on the through at work. Like, if you're on the phone at dinner, then your kids's like, phone at dinner, then your kids's like, phone at dinner, then your kids's like, "Why can't I be on the phone at dinner?" "Why can't I be on the phone at dinner?" "Why can't I be on the phone at dinner?" It's just we have to be very aware of of It's just we have to be very aware of of It's just we have to be very aware of of how we're showing up. Why are you how we're showing up. Why are you how we're showing up. Why are you laughing? Cuz laughing? Cuz laughing? Cuz the movie that I don't really like, but the movie that I don't really like, but the movie that I don't really like, but you do, Elf, when the guy comes home and you do, Elf, when the guy comes home and you do, Elf, when the guy comes home and he's like, he's like, he's like, "I'm going to have dinner in my in my "I'm going to have dinner in my in my "I'm going to have dinner in my in my office or my room or whatever." office or my room or whatever." office or my room or whatever." And then the kids like, And then the kids like, And then the kids like, "Mom, I've got a lot of important "Mom, I've got a lot of important "Mom, I've got a lot of important business things to do. I'm going to go business things to do. I'm going to go business things to do. I'm going to go to my my" and to my my" and to my my" and she's like, "No, you can't." she's like, "No, you can't." she's like, "No, you can't." Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right, guys. We hope this was All right, guys. We hope this was All right, guys. We hope this was valuable to you. Again, this is not valuable to you. Again, this is not valuable to you. Again, this is not about, you know, saying, "Hey, parent about, you know, saying, "Hey, parent about, you know, saying, "Hey, parent the way we do." we were just primarily the way we do." we were just primarily the way we do." we were just primarily wanting to bring some things to the wanting to bring some things to the wanting to bring some things to the table that we've seen different families table that we've seen different families table that we've seen different families struggle with and they're not always struggle with and they're not always struggle with and they're not always understanding why this is a theme that understanding why this is a theme that understanding why this is a theme that keeps showcasing in their household or keeps showcasing in their household or keeps showcasing in their household or showcasing with their kids. And through showcasing with their kids. And through showcasing with their kids. And through different questions and different different questions and different different questions and different probing, we've able to come up with some probing, we've able to come up with some probing, we've able to come up with some of the reasons why these dynamics are of the reasons why these dynamics are of the reasons why these dynamics are happening in the house. And let's be happening in the house. And let's be happening in the house. And let's be honest, these types of dynamics create a honest, these types of dynamics create a honest, these types of dynamics create a lot of stress in in family dynamics. It lot of stress in in family dynamics. It lot of stress in in family dynamics. It creates a lot of detracted energy. It creates a lot of detracted energy. It creates a lot of detracted energy. It creates a lot of frustration. And so the creates a lot of frustration. And so the creates a lot of frustration. And so the goal is is if you can take one thing goal is is if you can take one thing goal is is if you can take one thing away from here and you know shift some away from here and you know shift some away from here and you know shift some of the things that are happening inside of the things that are happening inside of the things that are happening inside the household or shift how you're the household or shift how you're the household or shift how you're showing up with your kids or shifting showing up with your kids or shifting showing up with your kids or shifting how you're communicating with your kids. how you're communicating with your kids. how you're communicating with your kids. Then you know you can get back so much Then you know you can get back so much Then you know you can get back so much of your time and energy and actually of your time and energy and actually of your time and energy and actually enjoy each other opposed to feeling enjoy each other opposed to feeling enjoy each other opposed to feeling overly frustrated and tense. overly frustrated and tense. overly frustrated and tense. Mick's got nothing. So we'll see you on Mick's got nothing. So we'll see you on Mick's got nothing. So we'll see you on the next podcast. the next podcast. the next podcast. [Music] [Music] [Music] [Applause] [Applause] [Applause] [Music]