Talk Therapy: Why It Might Keep You Stuck | Webinar

What's up everyone? Welcome back to What's up everyone? Welcome back to What's up everyone? Welcome back to another episode of Ingreview Radio. I'm another episode of Ingreview Radio. I'm another episode of Ingreview Radio. I'm laughing because laughing because laughing because do it. do it. do it. I'm trying for YouTubers. I'm trying to I'm trying for YouTubers. I'm trying to I'm trying for YouTubers. I'm trying to get Nick to change up his glasses and get Nick to change up his glasses and get Nick to change up his glasses and he's like, I don't like how these feel. he's like, I don't like how these feel. he's like, I don't like how these feel. [laughter] [laughter] [laughter] If you haven't uh if you listen to us If you haven't uh if you listen to us If you haven't uh if you listen to us for a while, you realize that I'm on the for a while, you realize that I'm on the for a while, you realize that I'm on the spectrum. So, [laughter] spectrum. So, [laughter] spectrum. So, [laughter] so speaking about feelings, so speaking about feelings, so speaking about feelings, I've got tactile issues and always have. I've got tactile issues and always have. I've got tactile issues and always have. Um, you don't Nick doesn't even know Um, you don't Nick doesn't even know Um, you don't Nick doesn't even know what topic we're rolling into because what topic we're rolling into because what topic we're rolling into because I'm just like, get on the computer now. I'm just like, get on the computer now. I'm just like, get on the computer now. Um, but I think you're going to be Um, but I think you're going to be Um, but I think you're going to be excited because we are going to talk excited because we are going to talk excited because we are going to talk about traditional talk therapy and about traditional talk therapy and about traditional talk therapy and when and and why it might not be when and and why it might not be when and and why it might not be beneficial for some people. And you beneficial for some people. And you beneficial for some people. And you know, for those of you that don't know know, for those of you that don't know know, for those of you that don't know us, do know us, uh, we have a big us, do know us, uh, we have a big us, do know us, uh, we have a big component to what we do with our private component to what we do with our private component to what we do with our private clients, which is very focused around clients, which is very focused around clients, which is very focused around helping them break through mental and helping them break through mental and helping them break through mental and emotional blocks. and then also to help emotional blocks. and then also to help emotional blocks. and then also to help them re-calibrate or calibrate to the them re-calibrate or calibrate to the them re-calibrate or calibrate to the best version of themselves. So, we know best version of themselves. So, we know best version of themselves. So, we know that the mind is really powerful and that the mind is really powerful and that the mind is really powerful and we're not advocating for people to not we're not advocating for people to not we're not advocating for people to not do do do therapy. Um, but we really want to shed therapy. Um, but we really want to shed therapy. Um, but we really want to shed light on why therapy might not be light on why therapy might not be light on why therapy might not be helping anymore. it might not have helping anymore. it might not have helping anymore. it might not have helped from the start or it's keeping helped from the start or it's keeping helped from the start or it's keeping you possibly trapped. you possibly trapped. you possibly trapped. If you've listened to any of our If you've listened to any of our If you've listened to any of our podcast, a quote that we one of us podcast, a quote that we one of us podcast, a quote that we one of us usually says, "It's not what you do, but usually says, "It's not what you do, but usually says, "It's not what you do, but how you do it that matters most." So, how you do it that matters most." So, how you do it that matters most." So, it's not that therapy is good or bad. it's not that therapy is good or bad. it's not that therapy is good or bad. It's not that biohacking is good or bad. It's not that biohacking is good or bad. It's not that biohacking is good or bad. It's not that taking supplements are It's not that taking supplements are It's not that taking supplements are good or bad. Not that working out is good or bad. Not that working out is good or bad. Not that working out is good or bad. It's how you do it that can good or bad. It's how you do it that can good or bad. It's how you do it that can quote unquote build you up or break you quote unquote build you up or break you quote unquote build you up or break you down even more. And that's yes, that's down even more. And that's yes, that's down even more. And that's yes, that's what I'm excited about talking. what I'm excited about talking. what I'm excited about talking. [laughter] [laughter] [laughter] So I for those of you that are like I So I for those of you that are like I So I for those of you that are like I don't have a lot of time. I'm going to don't have a lot of time. I'm going to don't have a lot of time. I'm going to give you the the highle cliff notes give you the the highle cliff notes give you the the highle cliff notes really quick of the top the things that really quick of the top the things that really quick of the top the things that we're going to talk about in this we're going to talk about in this we're going to talk about in this podcast. Sometimes I'm like can I speak podcast. Sometimes I'm like can I speak podcast. Sometimes I'm like can I speak English or Italian? I don't think I English or Italian? I don't think I English or Italian? I don't think I could even speak either nowadays. This could even speak either nowadays. This could even speak either nowadays. This is a four-month-old uh we have a baby. is a four-month-old uh we have a baby. is a four-month-old uh we have a baby. This is like mom brain from a This is like mom brain from a This is like mom brain from a four-month-old. So here we are. four-month-old. So here we are. four-month-old. So here we are. [laughter] [laughter] [laughter] But one is, But one is, But one is, do you know much about your therapist? do you know much about your therapist? do you know much about your therapist? And have they actually surpassed where And have they actually surpassed where And have they actually surpassed where you're trying to go? Have they actually you're trying to go? Have they actually you're trying to go? Have they actually asked the right questions of where asked the right questions of where asked the right questions of where you're trying to go? What are your you're trying to go? What are your you're trying to go? What are your desired outcomes from working with a desired outcomes from working with a desired outcomes from working with a therapist other than I don't want to be therapist other than I don't want to be therapist other than I don't want to be sad? Like what's the bigger picture? sad? Like what's the bigger picture? sad? Like what's the bigger picture? What's the bigger goal? And have they What's the bigger goal? And have they What's the bigger goal? And have they asked you that? asked you that? asked you that? Are they asking questions at all? Or are Are they asking questions at all? Or are Are they asking questions at all? Or are they validating your story around all they validating your story around all they validating your story around all the things that have happened to you or the things that have happened to you or the things that have happened to you or all the things that are making you sad, all the things that are making you sad, all the things that are making you sad, making you anxious, keeping you stuck? making you anxious, keeping you stuck? making you anxious, keeping you stuck? Has your life changed since working with Has your life changed since working with Has your life changed since working with them? Has it changed in a good way? Has them? Has it changed in a good way? Has them? Has it changed in a good way? Has it changed in a bad way? Has it changed it changed in a bad way? Has it changed it changed in a bad way? Has it changed at all? If it hasn't changed at all, at all? If it hasn't changed at all, at all? If it hasn't changed at all, that's a problem. If it's changed in a that's a problem. If it's changed in a that's a problem. If it's changed in a bad way, that's another problem. Um, bad way, that's another problem. Um, bad way, that's another problem. Um, we'll dive deeper into that topic we'll dive deeper into that topic we'll dive deeper into that topic because Nick looks up and he's like, because Nick looks up and he's like, because Nick looks up and he's like, [laughter] [laughter] [laughter] I'm taking notes. I'm like, I'm taking notes. I'm like, I'm taking notes. I'm like, and and and the other thing that I actually want to the other thing that I actually want to the other thing that I actually want to bring to you from a scientific bring to you from a scientific bring to you from a scientific perspective is actually perspective is actually perspective is actually where your therapist is at. And this is where your therapist is at. And this is where your therapist is at. And this is not just a therapist. This is a doctor. not just a therapist. This is a doctor. not just a therapist. This is a doctor. This is a life coach. This is a mentor, This is a life coach. This is a mentor, This is a life coach. This is a mentor, a teacher, a professor. It it it can go a teacher, a professor. It it it can go a teacher, a professor. It it it can go across the board, but depending on who across the board, but depending on who across the board, but depending on who you're taking mentorship advice from. you're taking mentorship advice from. you're taking mentorship advice from. It makes a big difference where they are It makes a big difference where they are It makes a big difference where they are at mentally and emotionally. And this at mentally and emotionally. And this at mentally and emotionally. And this has been proven by science. This has has been proven by science. This has has been proven by science. This has been proven uh by uh David Hawkins who been proven uh by uh David Hawkins who been proven uh by uh David Hawkins who created the map of consciousness which created the map of consciousness which created the map of consciousness which we're going to talk about. And this has we're going to talk about. And this has we're going to talk about. And this has actually been proven in a corporate actually been proven in a corporate actually been proven in a corporate setting as well setting as well setting as well [snorts] [snorts] [snorts] uh based on teams and their performance. uh based on teams and their performance. uh based on teams and their performance. So this is going to be really So this is going to be really So this is going to be really interesting for you to kind of wrap your interesting for you to kind of wrap your interesting for you to kind of wrap your head around because it's very very head around because it's very very head around because it's very very important who you hire to help you important who you hire to help you important who you hire to help you overcome a very specific obstacle in overcome a very specific obstacle in overcome a very specific obstacle in your life. So that's the cliff notes of your life. So that's the cliff notes of your life. So that's the cliff notes of what we're going to dive into and it's what we're going to dive into and it's what we're going to dive into and it's going to be [  ] awesome. So Nick, going to be [  ] awesome. So Nick, going to be [  ] awesome. So Nick, let's let's go. What do you what do you let's let's go. What do you what do you let's let's go. What do you what do you got first? Where do you want to got first? Where do you want to got first? Where do you want to challenge me in the podcast already? challenge me in the podcast already? challenge me in the podcast already? [laughter] [laughter] [laughter] I was taking notes because I didn't know I was taking notes because I didn't know I was taking notes because I didn't know what the hell we were going to talk what the hell we were going to talk what the hell we were going to talk about as usual. [laughter] Um, about as usual. [laughter] Um, about as usual. [laughter] Um, well, let's start out with just the well, let's start out with just the well, let's start out with just the broad and get more specific. So, broad and get more specific. So, broad and get more specific. So, traditional talk therapy, quote unquote, traditional talk therapy, quote unquote, traditional talk therapy, quote unquote, why is it good? Why is it bad? U, the why is it good? Why is it bad? U, the why is it good? Why is it bad? U, the good part of it is, you know, to go to good part of it is, you know, to go to good part of it is, you know, to go to talk therapy, you're acknowledging that talk therapy, you're acknowledging that talk therapy, you're acknowledging that you have a problem. And that's the you have a problem. And that's the you have a problem. And that's the first, you know, part of the process is first, you know, part of the process is first, you know, part of the process is actually having awareness that you have actually having awareness that you have actually having awareness that you have a problem. a problem. a problem. I would say the second part of that I would say the second part of that I would say the second part of that process that traditional talk therapy process that traditional talk therapy process that traditional talk therapy sometimes doesn't help out with is sometimes doesn't help out with is sometimes doesn't help out with is acknowledging that if you have a acknowledging that if you have a acknowledging that if you have a problem, you're part of the problem. problem, you're part of the problem. problem, you're part of the problem. And you have a challenge, you have a And you have a challenge, you have a And you have a challenge, you have a stressor, if if you're experiencing u an stressor, if if you're experiencing u an stressor, if if you're experiencing u an issue, well, you're a part of it. And a issue, well, you're a part of it. And a issue, well, you're a part of it. And a lot of therapists don't, lot of therapists don't, lot of therapists don't, I think, um, I think, um, I think, um, go deep enough to push that if you're a go deep enough to push that if you're a go deep enough to push that if you're a part of the problem. Like, understand part of the problem. Like, understand part of the problem. Like, understand this. You are a part of the problem. this. You are a part of the problem. this. You are a part of the problem. Well, I always laugh. Well, I always laugh. Well, I always laugh. You don't need to change. You don't need You don't need to change. You don't need You don't need to change. You don't need to be changing somebody else to to solve to be changing somebody else to to solve to be changing somebody else to to solve your problem. If you're a part of the your problem. If you're a part of the your problem. If you're a part of the problem, you you I'm going to say it one problem, you you I'm going to say it one problem, you you I'm going to say it one more time. You are a part of the more time. You are a part of the more time. You are a part of the problem, which means you have an problem, which means you have an problem, which means you have an opportunity to change yourself, to opportunity to change yourself, to opportunity to change yourself, to change the problem. Not changing change the problem. Not changing change the problem. Not changing somebody else, changing you. That's the somebody else, changing you. That's the somebody else, changing you. That's the only thing that you have power to do. only thing that you have power to do. only thing that you have power to do. And I think this is the biggest mistake And I think this is the biggest mistake And I think this is the biggest mistake that most therapists do is that they're that most therapists do is that they're that most therapists do is that they're they help somebody else figure out what they help somebody else figure out what they help somebody else figure out what they can do to change their scenario they can do to change their scenario they can do to change their scenario externally around them. That's not why externally around them. That's not why externally around them. That's not why it [  ] happened. it [  ] happened. it [  ] happened. The problem is a gift to help you change The problem is a gift to help you change The problem is a gift to help you change yourself to be a better version of yourself to be a better version of yourself to be a better version of yourself. yourself. yourself. Yep. Yep. Yep. It's called you're either being It's called you're either being It's called you're either being empowered and you're taking empowered and you're taking empowered and you're taking accountability and you're growing accountability and you're growing accountability and you're growing yourself or you're staying disempowered yourself or you're staying disempowered yourself or you're staying disempowered and you're putting the blame exterior and you're putting the blame exterior and you're putting the blame exterior outside of yourself and you're waiting outside of yourself and you're waiting outside of yourself and you're waiting for your life to get better based on for your life to get better based on for your life to get better based on somebody else or something else. That's somebody else or something else. That's somebody else or something else. That's [  ] insanity and that pisses me off. [  ] insanity and that pisses me off. [  ] insanity and that pisses me off. Oh, go ahead. Oh, go ahead. Oh, go ahead. You wanted to talk [  ] to me in the You wanted to talk [  ] to me in the You wanted to talk [  ] to me in the last podcast when I got all heated. Tell last podcast when I got all heated. Tell last podcast when I got all heated. Tell us. us. us. All right. Go ahead. [laughter] All right. Go ahead. [laughter] All right. Go ahead. [laughter] Everything is fine. Great. Everything is fine. Great. Everything is fine. Great. Well, I think of two things. Um, one is, Well, I think of two things. Um, one is, Well, I think of two things. Um, one is, and this kind of goes to the topic of and this kind of goes to the topic of and this kind of goes to the topic of where is your therapist at in their where is your therapist at in their where is your therapist at in their level of personal growth and level of personal growth and level of personal growth and development? development? development? Where are they from a level of Where are they from a level of Where are they from a level of confidence and expertise in what they confidence and expertise in what they confidence and expertise in what they do? Because if your therapist is do? Because if your therapist is do? Because if your therapist is validating your story, there's an aspect validating your story, there's an aspect validating your story, there's an aspect of wanting harmony. And this is of wanting harmony. And this is of wanting harmony. And this is something that I learned the hard way something that I learned the hard way something that I learned the hard way from a business perspective because it from a business perspective because it from a business perspective because it applies to all different parts of life applies to all different parts of life applies to all different parts of life is is is conflict avoided is conflict multiplied. conflict avoided is conflict multiplied. conflict avoided is conflict multiplied. And so if your therapist is not willing And so if your therapist is not willing And so if your therapist is not willing to ask you hard question, is not willing to ask you hard question, is not willing to ask you hard question, is not willing to say you are the common denominator in to say you are the common denominator in to say you are the common denominator in the laundry list of problems that you the laundry list of problems that you the laundry list of problems that you just reported, just reported, just reported, then they're not doing their job because then they're not doing their job because then they're not doing their job because this isn't about making you happy in this isn't about making you happy in this isn't about making you happy in that moment because that happiness is that moment because that happiness is that moment because that happiness is temporary. It's a dopamine hit. Someone temporary. It's a dopamine hit. Someone temporary. It's a dopamine hit. Someone understands me. Someone finally gets me. understands me. Someone finally gets me. understands me. Someone finally gets me. Someone finally knows that I'm right in Someone finally knows that I'm right in Someone finally knows that I'm right in this situation. this situation. this situation. But in reality, the reason why we have But in reality, the reason why we have But in reality, the reason why we have problems and challenges and obstacles is problems and challenges and obstacles is problems and challenges and obstacles is because there's something for us to because there's something for us to because there's something for us to learn and there is an opportunity for us learn and there is an opportunity for us learn and there is an opportunity for us to grow and rise above it. Like you have to grow and rise above it. Like you have to grow and rise above it. Like you have to understand the reason why this [  ] to understand the reason why this [  ] to understand the reason why this [  ] comes up in your life. It's not because comes up in your life. It's not because comes up in your life. It's not because you have bad luck, bad genes and and you you have bad luck, bad genes and and you you have bad luck, bad genes and and you know maybe you do have toxic people in know maybe you do have toxic people in know maybe you do have toxic people in your life. That's a different story. But your life. That's a different story. But your life. That's a different story. But you know the there is an opportunity you know the there is an opportunity you know the there is an opportunity for yourself not an opportunity for for yourself not an opportunity for for yourself not an opportunity for someone else to agree with you. And this someone else to agree with you. And this someone else to agree with you. And this is what Nick is saying is that we tend is what Nick is saying is that we tend is what Nick is saying is that we tend to to to be a victim to a lot of the things that be a victim to a lot of the things that be a victim to a lot of the things that are happening quote unquote to us. And are happening quote unquote to us. And are happening quote unquote to us. And we fail to acknowledge that we are the we fail to acknowledge that we are the we fail to acknowledge that we are the common denominator in every single thing common denominator in every single thing common denominator in every single thing that we perceive as bad. that we perceive as bad. that we perceive as bad. And you can't control anyone else. You And you can't control anyone else. You And you can't control anyone else. You can't you can't control outcomes for the can't you can't control outcomes for the can't you can't control outcomes for the future. You can't control any of that. future. You can't control any of that. future. You can't control any of that. The only thing that you can control is The only thing that you can control is The only thing that you can control is yourself in the present moment. And that yourself in the present moment. And that yourself in the present moment. And that is where the power is. And that's where is where the power is. And that's where is where the power is. And that's where you should be empowered. Because as soon you should be empowered. Because as soon you should be empowered. Because as soon as you can move from victim to victor, as you can move from victim to victor, as you can move from victim to victor, that's where the magic is going to that's where the magic is going to that's where the magic is going to happen. It's not going to be because you happen. It's not going to be because you happen. It's not going to be because you are waiting for someone else, your are waiting for someone else, your are waiting for someone else, your partner, your kids, your boss to change. partner, your kids, your boss to change. partner, your kids, your boss to change. That's like Nick said, [music] insanity. So, I want to piggyback on you talked So, I want to piggyback on you talked So, I want to piggyback on you talked about it's not about being happy. You about it's not about being happy. You about it's not about being happy. You know, going to a therapist um a lot of know, going to a therapist um a lot of know, going to a therapist um a lot of times people going to a therapist, you times people going to a therapist, you times people going to a therapist, you know, whether you're sad, whether you're know, whether you're sad, whether you're know, whether you're sad, whether you're frustrated, whether you're angry, mad, frustrated, whether you're angry, mad, frustrated, whether you're angry, mad, fill in the blank. Most people don't go fill in the blank. Most people don't go fill in the blank. Most people don't go to a therapist because they're happy. um to a therapist because they're happy. um to a therapist because they're happy. um because they're, you know, ecstatic because they're, you know, ecstatic because they're, you know, ecstatic because they think that life is just because they think that life is just because they think that life is just even better than it should be. They're even better than it should be. They're even better than it should be. They're going to a therapist because they have a going to a therapist because they have a going to a therapist because they have a problem problem problem and what they're wanting to get wanting and what they're wanting to get wanting and what they're wanting to get wanting to get is what that opposite feeling. to get is what that opposite feeling. to get is what that opposite feeling. Yep. Yep. Yep. So, if they're sad, they're going to the So, if they're sad, they're going to the So, if they're sad, they're going to the therapist wanting to get happy. If you therapist wanting to get happy. If you therapist wanting to get happy. If you know, mad blah blah blah. Fill in the know, mad blah blah blah. Fill in the know, mad blah blah blah. Fill in the blank. It's always they're blank. It's always they're blank. It's always they're they're calm. Yeah. they're calm. Yeah. they're calm. Yeah. They're they're wanting to get the They're they're wanting to get the They're they're wanting to get the opposite. if they're experiencing chaos opposite. if they're experiencing chaos opposite. if they're experiencing chaos and war, they want to leave feeling and war, they want to leave feeling and war, they want to leave feeling peaceful. [snorts] peaceful. [snorts] peaceful. [snorts] And And And that's not necessarily a bad thing if a that's not necessarily a bad thing if a that's not necessarily a bad thing if a therapist can achieve that, because most therapist can achieve that, because most therapist can achieve that, because most therapists can't even achieve that. But therapists can't even achieve that. But therapists can't even achieve that. But the problem is is that they're just the problem is is that they're just the problem is is that they're just growing that [clears throat] cycle of growing that [clears throat] cycle of growing that [clears throat] cycle of the the the story that caused the the the the story that caused the the the the story that caused the imbalance and then the need to try to imbalance and then the need to try to imbalance and then the need to try to experience the opposite. And that cycle experience the opposite. And that cycle experience the opposite. And that cycle is going to continue because you feel is going to continue because you feel is going to continue because you feel like [  ] Oh, I felt what I really like [  ] Oh, I felt what I really like [  ] Oh, I felt what I really wanted. The opposite. I feel good. And wanted. The opposite. I feel good. And wanted. The opposite. I feel good. And then I go and I feel like [  ] and it's then I go and I feel like [  ] and it's then I go and I feel like [  ] and it's just a yo-yo back and forth, back and just a yo-yo back and forth, back and just a yo-yo back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, and the therapist forth, back and forth, and the therapist forth, back and forth, and the therapist is going to make a lot of money because is going to make a lot of money because is going to make a lot of money because you have to go to them for the rest of you have to go to them for the rest of you have to go to them for the rest of their life. Um, not a bad business plan. their life. Um, not a bad business plan. their life. Um, not a bad business plan. What I always know when I'm working What I always know when I'm working What I always know when I'm working through something myself with a client through something myself with a client through something myself with a client that at the end that at the end that at the end a the only thing they have to say is not a the only thing they have to say is not a the only thing they have to say is not to me about the scenario. Whoever to me about the scenario. Whoever to me about the scenario. Whoever whatever the situation the moment's whatever the situation the moment's whatever the situation the moment's entailing is that entailing is that entailing is that thank you comes out of their mouth if thank you comes out of their mouth if thank you comes out of their mouth if it's with another person's part of the it's with another person's part of the it's with another person's part of the problem. I love you that it's just problem. I love you that it's just problem. I love you that it's just gratitude. gratitude. gratitude. And one of the trickery questions I ask And one of the trickery questions I ask And one of the trickery questions I ask is like, "Okay, that's awesome." Blah, is like, "Okay, that's awesome." Blah, is like, "Okay, that's awesome." Blah, blah, blah. blah, blah. blah, blah. So, what would you like still want to So, what would you like still want to So, what would you like still want to change? change? change? And then And then And then I watch their eyes, I watch body I watch their eyes, I watch body I watch their eyes, I watch body language, etc. If they want to change anything, If they want to change anything, If they want to change anything, you still have judgment around you still have judgment around you still have judgment around something. something. something. Yep. [snorts] Yep. [snorts] Yep. [snorts] The only time that you know that cycle The only time that you know that cycle The only time that you know that cycle has quote unquote been resolved has quote unquote been resolved has quote unquote been resolved and ended, collapsed, if you're looking and ended, collapsed, if you're looking and ended, collapsed, if you're looking at it in the scientific aspect, is that at it in the scientific aspect, is that at it in the scientific aspect, is that there's nothing to change. there's nothing to change. there's nothing to change. There's nothing to change because that There's nothing to change because that There's nothing to change because that moment was actually perfectly created moment was actually perfectly created moment was actually perfectly created for me so that I could better serve for me so that I could better serve for me so that I could better serve myself, so I could be a more authentic myself, so I could be a more authentic myself, so I could be a more authentic version of myself, so I could love version of myself, so I could love version of myself, so I could love myself more. We can't give something myself more. We can't give something myself more. We can't give something that we don't have. Mhm. that we don't have. Mhm. that we don't have. Mhm. So you have to be more to be able to So you have to be more to be able to So you have to be more to be able to give more. You have to love yourself give more. You have to love yourself give more. You have to love yourself more if you want to give more love. more if you want to give more love. more if you want to give more love. You have to be more gentle. You have to You have to be more gentle. You have to You have to be more gentle. You have to be all those things. Everything that we be all those things. Everything that we be all those things. Everything that we learn through those hard times, the learn through those hard times, the learn through those hard times, the challenge is really one of the most challenge is really one of the most challenge is really one of the most beautiful parts of our life because it's beautiful parts of our life because it's beautiful parts of our life because it's the opportunity to grow ourselves and the opportunity to grow ourselves and the opportunity to grow ourselves and then to be able to give more of then to be able to give more of then to be able to give more of ourselves to our family, to our ourselves to our family, to our ourselves to our family, to our humanity, to our work, to whatever is humanity, to our work, to whatever is humanity, to our work, to whatever is important to you. important to you. important to you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And that is And that is And that is you talked about change like are they you talked about change like are they you talked about change like are they feeling no change? Are they feeling good feeling no change? Are they feeling good feeling no change? Are they feeling good or bad? or bad? or bad? All those are quote unquote wrong. All those are quote unquote wrong. All those are quote unquote wrong. Because if you're not feeling change, Because if you're not feeling change, Because if you're not feeling change, well, you're just not connected because well, you're just not connected because well, you're just not connected because the only constant in life is change. the only constant in life is change. the only constant in life is change. If you're feeling good, you're polarized If you're feeling good, you're polarized If you're feeling good, you're polarized and seeing more benefits and drawbacks. and seeing more benefits and drawbacks. and seeing more benefits and drawbacks. If you're feeling bad, you're polarized If you're feeling bad, you're polarized If you're feeling bad, you're polarized on seeing more bad than good, more on seeing more bad than good, more on seeing more bad than good, more drawbacks than benefits. The only thing drawbacks than benefits. The only thing drawbacks than benefits. The only thing that I want to see, that I want to feel, that I want to see, that I want to feel, that I want to see, that I want to feel, I want to experience is gratitude. I want to experience is gratitude. I want to experience is gratitude. Unconditional love, gratitude, thank Unconditional love, gratitude, thank Unconditional love, gratitude, thank you, joy, those are all balanced you, joy, those are all balanced you, joy, those are all balanced feelings. feelings. feelings. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Every other feeling, Every other feeling, Every other feeling, that's a really huge point for people to that's a really huge point for people to that's a really huge point for people to understand is that there a lot of people understand is that there a lot of people understand is that there a lot of people are chasing happiness, but I'm like, you are chasing happiness, but I'm like, you are chasing happiness, but I'm like, you know, we live in a world where you can know, we live in a world where you can know, we live in a world where you can watch a show and feel happy for a little watch a show and feel happy for a little watch a show and feel happy for a little while. You can go buy an outfit and feel while. You can go buy an outfit and feel while. You can go buy an outfit and feel happy for a little while. You can go happy for a little while. You can go happy for a little while. You can go smoke a cigarette and feel happy for a smoke a cigarette and feel happy for a smoke a cigarette and feel happy for a little while. You can go have a glass of little while. You can go have a glass of little while. You can go have a glass of wine and feel happy for a little while. wine and feel happy for a little while. wine and feel happy for a little while. Like, it is not the proper measurement Like, it is not the proper measurement Like, it is not the proper measurement tool for having a really great life tool for having a really great life tool for having a really great life filled with filled with filled with joy, gratitude, and even peace. Like a a joy, gratitude, and even peace. Like a a joy, gratitude, and even peace. Like a a level of like inner peace is what I I level of like inner peace is what I I level of like inner peace is what I I don't I don't necessarily mean outer, don't I don't necessarily mean outer, don't I don't necessarily mean outer, but feeling very very grounded and and but feeling very very grounded and and but feeling very very grounded and and gracious for what you have in this gracious for what you have in this gracious for what you have in this moment. moment. moment. This is awesome you said that because a This is awesome you said that because a This is awesome you said that because a lot of times people don't understand lot of times people don't understand lot of times people don't understand just me talking in general. Um, just me talking in general. Um, just me talking in general. Um, [laughter] [clears throat] [clears throat] [clears throat] makes sense to my head, but I don't makes sense to my head, but I don't makes sense to my head, but I don't operate as the normal person. operate as the normal person. operate as the normal person. Hence why I'm here to give the uh the u Hence why I'm here to give the uh the u Hence why I'm here to give the uh the u you know interpretation. you know interpretation. you know interpretation. Hence that spectrum quote before. But if Hence that spectrum quote before. But if Hence that spectrum quote before. But if you're chasing happiness, you know, when you're chasing happiness, you know, when you're chasing happiness, you know, when we look at it through the eyes of we look at it through the eyes of we look at it through the eyes of physics, you know, before I said the physics, you know, before I said the physics, you know, before I said the therapist is giving you the opposite of therapist is giving you the opposite of therapist is giving you the opposite of what you wanted. So like you talked what you wanted. So like you talked what you wanted. So like you talked about happiness. If you come in sad, the about happiness. If you come in sad, the about happiness. If you come in sad, the therapist is trying to make you leave therapist is trying to make you leave therapist is trying to make you leave happy blah blah blah. Oh my god, it happy blah blah blah. Oh my god, it happy blah blah blah. Oh my god, it smells like roses. But that's that's not smells like roses. But that's that's not smells like roses. But that's that's not the goal. The goal is the gratitude. So the goal. The goal is the gratitude. So the goal. The goal is the gratitude. So when you think about like Einstein, he when you think about like Einstein, he when you think about like Einstein, he described it for every action there's an described it for every action there's an described it for every action there's an equal and opposite reaction. equal and opposite reaction. equal and opposite reaction. [clears throat] [clears throat] [clears throat] So if we feel a level of sadness, So if we feel a level of sadness, So if we feel a level of sadness, there's an equal and opposite level of there's an equal and opposite level of there's an equal and opposite level of happiness. And this is also a big thing happiness. And this is also a big thing happiness. And this is also a big thing that therapists don't do at all. They that therapists don't do at all. They that therapists don't do at all. They haven't been trained in. They haven't haven't been trained in. They haven't haven't been trained in. They haven't been trained in like the science of how been trained in like the science of how been trained in like the science of how the the mind works, I guess. the the mind works, I guess. the the mind works, I guess. And also, just to be clear for those of And also, just to be clear for those of And also, just to be clear for those of you that you're like, well, don't they you that you're like, well, don't they you that you're like, well, don't they have a psychology degree? We're not have a psychology degree? We're not have a psychology degree? We're not talking about psychology. We're talking talking about psychology. We're talking talking about psychology. We're talking about actual physics like quantum about actual physics like quantum about actual physics like quantum physics because there is a a a physics physics because there is a a a physics physics because there is a a a physics aspect when it comes to how the brain aspect when it comes to how the brain aspect when it comes to how the brain operates. So this is not just about operates. So this is not just about operates. So this is not just about psychology. Your best therapists or your psychology. Your best therapists or your psychology. Your best therapists or your best um individuals to help you grow, best um individuals to help you grow, best um individuals to help you grow, you know, mentally and emotionally are you know, mentally and emotionally are you know, mentally and emotionally are those that have a diverse set of of those that have a diverse set of of those that have a diverse set of of knowledge and skills. knowledge and skills. knowledge and skills. Every ology is grown to get a more Every ology is grown to get a more Every ology is grown to get a more specific interpretation based off of the specific interpretation based off of the specific interpretation based off of the foundation of science which is physics foundation of science which is physics foundation of science which is physics and quantum physics. Physics is this the and quantum physics. Physics is this the and quantum physics. Physics is this the study of the physical and the quantum is study of the physical and the quantum is study of the physical and the quantum is you know the physics of the unphysical you know the physics of the unphysical you know the physics of the unphysical and both of those are actually and both of those are actually and both of those are actually incomplete. So there's another part that incomplete. So there's another part that incomplete. So there's another part that we're missing that we'll get it probably we're missing that we'll get it probably we're missing that we'll get it probably AI will figure out beforehand but we'll AI will figure out beforehand but we'll AI will figure out beforehand but we'll see. see. see. For every action, there's an equal and For every action, there's an equal and For every action, there's an equal and opposite reaction. opposite reaction. opposite reaction. So if there's bad, there's an equal So if there's bad, there's an equal So if there's bad, there's an equal amount of good. This isn't like, oh my amount of good. This isn't like, oh my amount of good. This isn't like, oh my god, this is bad here, so good's going god, this is bad here, so good's going god, this is bad here, so good's going to happen in the future. No, to happen in the future. No, to happen in the future. No, that's a good point. that's a good point. that's a good point. It's in the moment cuz that's the only It's in the moment cuz that's the only It's in the moment cuz that's the only true aspect of reality is the moment. So true aspect of reality is the moment. So true aspect of reality is the moment. So we had a moment of perception that was we had a moment of perception that was we had a moment of perception that was either balanced, grace, gratitude, either balanced, grace, gratitude, either balanced, grace, gratitude, unconditional love, not the conditional unconditional love, not the conditional unconditional love, not the conditional love, but unconditional love. love, but unconditional love. love, but unconditional love. And everything's balanced, good and bad, And everything's balanced, good and bad, And everything's balanced, good and bad, balanced. Benefits, drawbacks, balanced. balanced. Benefits, drawbacks, balanced. balanced. Benefits, drawbacks, balanced. But in that moment where we perceived But in that moment where we perceived But in that moment where we perceived more bad, more difficult, more more bad, more difficult, more more bad, more difficult, more frustration, well, there is also an frustration, well, there is also an frustration, well, there is also an equal and opposite reaction in that equal and opposite reaction in that equal and opposite reaction in that exact moment. So the only way to quote exact moment. So the only way to quote exact moment. So the only way to quote unquote resolve that imbalanced unquote resolve that imbalanced unquote resolve that imbalanced perception, the imbalanced mind, that perception, the imbalanced mind, that perception, the imbalanced mind, that stress that we perceive that then the stress that we perceive that then the stress that we perceive that then the body has to deal with is to balance out body has to deal with is to balance out body has to deal with is to balance out that perception to grow the awareness of that perception to grow the awareness of that perception to grow the awareness of okay in that moment what was the good, okay in that moment what was the good, okay in that moment what was the good, what was the benefits, how did that what was the benefits, how did that what was the benefits, how did that serve me until that positive charge, the serve me until that positive charge, the serve me until that positive charge, the good equals the negative charge, the good equals the negative charge, the good equals the negative charge, the bad. And when the mind becomes balanced, bad. And when the mind becomes balanced, bad. And when the mind becomes balanced, it's called equinimity. it's called equinimity. it's called equinimity. When the mind becomes balanced in charge When the mind becomes balanced in charge When the mind becomes balanced in charge in that perception of good and bad, in that perception of good and bad, in that perception of good and bad, guess what? There's no more stress guess what? There's no more stress guess what? There's no more stress response. And when there's absolutely no response. And when there's absolutely no response. And when there's absolutely no stress response, there's nothing to stress response, there's nothing to stress response, there's nothing to change. That's when we actually feel change. That's when we actually feel change. That's when we actually feel unconditional love. That's when we feel unconditional love. That's when we feel unconditional love. That's when we feel gratitude. That's when we, you know, the gratitude. That's when we, you know, the gratitude. That's when we, you know, the the two aspects of the wave, the the two aspects of the wave, the the two aspects of the wave, the positive and negative charge collapses positive and negative charge collapses positive and negative charge collapses on each other. on each other. on each other. So that's why there's no more stress So that's why there's no more stress So that's why there's no more stress response. Actually, no more physical response. Actually, no more physical response. Actually, no more physical stress response. stress response. stress response. And you know that's when I don't really And you know that's when I don't really And you know that's when I don't really like the word healing. Um like the word healing. Um like the word healing. Um [clears throat] but that's when when [clears throat] but that's when when [clears throat] but that's when when people think of healing people think of healing people think of healing that's when transformation occurs. that's when transformation occurs. that's when transformation occurs. Yeah. Well and also in this moment I Yeah. Well and also in this moment I Yeah. Well and also in this moment I want to give a shout out to you know Dr. want to give a shout out to you know Dr. want to give a shout out to you know Dr. D. Martini, who was really the D. Martini, who was really the D. Martini, who was really the individual who helped us understand individual who helped us understand individual who helped us understand these concepts. And for those of you these concepts. And for those of you these concepts. And for those of you that want to dive deeper into even, you that want to dive deeper into even, you that want to dive deeper into even, you know, just seeing um some individuals know, just seeing um some individuals know, just seeing um some individuals that went through this type of that went through this type of that went through this type of thoughtprovoking questioning thoughtprovoking questioning thoughtprovoking questioning um which is part of the work that Nick um which is part of the work that Nick um which is part of the work that Nick does. It's part of the work that Dr. D. does. It's part of the work that Dr. D. does. It's part of the work that Dr. D. Martini does is the documentary, the Martini does is the documentary, the Martini does is the documentary, the breakthrough exper. Is it the breakthrough exper. Is it the breakthrough exper. Is it the breakthrough? No, it's just the breakthrough? No, it's just the breakthrough? No, it's just the breakthrough. I always want to say the breakthrough. I always want to say the breakthrough. I always want to say the breakthrough experience because that's breakthrough experience because that's breakthrough experience because that's the name of the methodology, but it's the name of the methodology, but it's the name of the methodology, but it's called the breakthrough. It's available called the breakthrough. It's available called the breakthrough. It's available on Amazon. Uh Nick and I are both in it. on Amazon. Uh Nick and I are both in it. on Amazon. Uh Nick and I are both in it. Our baby Quentyn is in it and Nick is Our baby Quentyn is in it and Nick is Our baby Quentyn is in it and Nick is actually the narrator of it. So for actually the narrator of it. So for actually the narrator of it. So for those of you that are really intrigued those of you that are really intrigued those of you that are really intrigued right now, I highly recommend going and right now, I highly recommend going and right now, I highly recommend going and checking that out. Um, but in this checking that out. Um, but in this checking that out. Um, but in this moment, I also want to moment, I also want to moment, I also want to I want to um piggyback off of everything I want to um piggyback off of everything I want to um piggyback off of everything that you just said, Nick, because that you just said, Nick, because that you just said, Nick, because you know, one thing that I I think you know, one thing that I I think you know, one thing that I I think more so in the past before we were very more so in the past before we were very more so in the past before we were very transparent and um very particular on transparent and um very particular on transparent and um very particular on how we took calls for new people that how we took calls for new people that how we took calls for new people that wanted to work with us. because now we wanted to work with us. because now we wanted to work with us. because now we we have just a a framework where you we have just a a framework where you we have just a a framework where you know exactly what you're getting know exactly what you're getting know exactly what you're getting yourself into before you work with us, yourself into before you work with us, yourself into before you work with us, but also we're very selective on who we but also we're very selective on who we but also we're very selective on who we work with because we want to work with work with because we want to work with work with because we want to work with people that really are able to take what people that really are able to take what people that really are able to take what we do and run with it and and create the we do and run with it and and create the we do and run with it and and create the most amazing life that they could ever most amazing life that they could ever most amazing life that they could ever desire. desire. desire. Um and and one of the things is that Um and and one of the things is that Um and and one of the things is that when people came from traditional talk when people came from traditional talk when people came from traditional talk therapy and then would go in and work therapy and then would go in and work therapy and then would go in and work with Dr. Nick, they would sometimes be with Dr. Nick, they would sometimes be with Dr. Nick, they would sometimes be like, whoa. like, whoa. like, whoa. Because one, he was asking a lot of Because one, he was asking a lot of Because one, he was asking a lot of questions and not it wasn't about them questions and not it wasn't about them questions and not it wasn't about them doing story time, you know, oh, my doing story time, you know, oh, my doing story time, you know, oh, my husband, my partner, my wife, my this husband, my partner, my wife, my this husband, my partner, my wife, my this and all the problems and this happened and all the problems and this happened and all the problems and this happened to me. And it was a lot about very to me. And it was a lot about very to me. And it was a lot about very thoughtprovoking questioning. And there thoughtprovoking questioning. And there thoughtprovoking questioning. And there was a level of asking hard questions was a level of asking hard questions was a level of asking hard questions that if someone was not in a place of that if someone was not in a place of that if someone was not in a place of awareness or they weren't really in it awareness or they weren't really in it awareness or they weren't really in it for growth, they were just in it for for growth, they were just in it for for growth, they were just in it for that energy dump, that energy dump, that energy dump, they would be like, you know, you mean they would be like, you know, you mean they would be like, you know, you mean to tell me that I got to go do work to tell me that I got to go do work to tell me that I got to go do work after this? You mean to tell me that I'm after this? You mean to tell me that I'm after this? You mean to tell me that I'm not right? You mean to tell me that that not right? You mean to tell me that that not right? You mean to tell me that that was there was good in that bad was there was good in that bad was there was good in that bad situation? And you know, there are situation? And you know, there are situation? And you know, there are certain people that can't handle that in certain people that can't handle that in certain people that can't handle that in that moment. It's not saying that that that moment. It's not saying that that that moment. It's not saying that that they can't get there. Um, but it's also they can't get there. Um, but it's also they can't get there. Um, but it's also not the reason why they sought out not the reason why they sought out not the reason why they sought out therapy. They sought out therapy because therapy. They sought out therapy because therapy. They sought out therapy because they wanted to feel good. They wanted to they wanted to feel good. They wanted to they wanted to feel good. They wanted to be able to energetically dump. That's be able to energetically dump. That's be able to energetically dump. That's one of the things that I know that I one of the things that I know that I one of the things that I know that I experienced when I was young is I would experienced when I was young is I would experienced when I was young is I would always want to if I had something going always want to if I had something going always want to if I had something going on, I would always want to talk to on, I would always want to talk to on, I would always want to talk to select friends. And those are the select select friends. And those are the select select friends. And those are the select friends that would validate me. They friends that would validate me. They friends that would validate me. They would agree with me and they would sit would agree with me and they would sit would agree with me and they would sit and listen and allow me to dump all my and listen and allow me to dump all my and listen and allow me to dump all my problems, which was a fantastic problems, which was a fantastic problems, which was a fantastic energetic release for me. I didn't know energetic release for me. I didn't know energetic release for me. I didn't know that at that time, but I avoided the that at that time, but I avoided the that at that time, but I avoided the friends that would challenge me. I friends that would challenge me. I friends that would challenge me. I avoided the friends that would ask avoided the friends that would ask avoided the friends that would ask thoughtprovoking questions. And so, you thoughtprovoking questions. And so, you thoughtprovoking questions. And so, you have to really think about, you know, have to really think about, you know, have to really think about, you know, where are you on that spectrum? And if where are you on that spectrum? And if where are you on that spectrum? And if you are in a place of like, you know you are in a place of like, you know you are in a place of like, you know what, I've done the I' I've done the what, I've done the I' I've done the what, I've done the I' I've done the therapy where I just, you know, tell the therapy where I just, you know, tell the therapy where I just, you know, tell the story and they listen and I'm looking story and they listen and I'm looking story and they listen and I'm looking for a solution. I'm looking for for a solution. I'm looking for for a solution. I'm looking for something different. I'm looking for something different. I'm looking for something different. I'm looking for someone to challenge me. I'm looking for someone to challenge me. I'm looking for someone to challenge me. I'm looking for growth. I want to overcome this. Then growth. I want to overcome this. Then growth. I want to overcome this. Then it's time to start to look outside of it's time to start to look outside of it's time to start to look outside of that box. Because if you really want to that box. Because if you really want to that box. Because if you really want to grow and you really want to tap into the grow and you really want to tap into the grow and you really want to tap into the best version of yourself and you really best version of yourself and you really best version of yourself and you really want to transform your life, then guess want to transform your life, then guess want to transform your life, then guess what? These sessions, we can call them what? These sessions, we can call them what? These sessions, we can call them therapy if you choose, they shouldn't be therapy if you choose, they shouldn't be therapy if you choose, they shouldn't be harmonious. They shouldn't be feel-good. harmonious. They shouldn't be feel-good. harmonious. They shouldn't be feel-good. They should be con they they should be They should be con they they should be They should be con they they should be constructed in a way that it asks constructed in a way that it asks constructed in a way that it asks thoughtprovoking questions that will thoughtprovoking questions that will thoughtprovoking questions that will help you think outside of the current help you think outside of the current help you think outside of the current box. box. box. that will help you to collapse [  ] that will help you to collapse [  ] that will help you to collapse [  ] holding you back and grow yourself by holding you back and grow yourself by holding you back and grow yourself by shifting your mindset and collapsing shifting your mindset and collapsing shifting your mindset and collapsing programs programs programs or belief systems that are holding you or belief systems that are holding you or belief systems that are holding you back. back. back. Yeah. And don't judge yourself if you Yeah. And don't judge yourself if you Yeah. And don't judge yourself if you know you said that you know you think of know you said that you know you think of know you said that you know you think of the the moment the experience situation the the moment the experience situation the the moment the experience situation you're like there's no good in that you're like there's no good in that you're like there's no good in that you know that's you know that's you know that's it's hard it's hard it's hard that well no that's perfectly okay that well no that's perfectly okay that well no that's perfectly okay because if you could see the good in it because if you could see the good in it because if you could see the good in it you actually could take yourself through you actually could take yourself through you actually could take yourself through it you could resolve it yourself like it you could resolve it yourself like it you could resolve it yourself like even myself you D Martini goes through even myself you D Martini goes through even myself you D Martini goes through that mathematics and he goes if you're that mathematics and he goes if you're that mathematics and he goes if you're if your mind is polarized above a 1 to7 if your mind is polarized above a 1 to7 if your mind is polarized above a 1 to7 or 7 to1 ratio or 7 to1 ratio or 7 to1 ratio you you need you need help from somebody you you need you need help from somebody you you need you need help from somebody else to ask you these questions to help else to ask you these questions to help else to ask you these questions to help you grow that reflective awareness, that you grow that reflective awareness, that you grow that reflective awareness, that reflective consciousness. reflective consciousness. reflective consciousness. So, if you start by saying no, there's So, if you start by saying no, there's So, if you start by saying no, there's no no good, there's no benefits, that's no no good, there's no benefits, that's no no good, there's no benefits, that's perfect. Like, that's okay. But if you perfect. Like, that's okay. But if you perfect. Like, that's okay. But if you fight to stay there, fight to stay there, fight to stay there, well, then you're going to have an well, then you're going to have an well, then you're going to have an issue. It's not my issue. Like, I'll issue. It's not my issue. Like, I'll issue. It's not my issue. Like, I'll keep asking different questions to try keep asking different questions to try keep asking different questions to try to crack you. But if you're that to crack you. But if you're that to crack you. But if you're that attached, that just means that you attached, that just means that you attached, that just means that you figured out that you're using it to figured out that you're using it to figured out that you're using it to serve yourself and you don't want to serve yourself and you don't want to serve yourself and you don't want to lose that, which, you know, lose that, which, you know, lose that, which, you know, it's going to keep you stuck. But like it's going to keep you stuck. But like it's going to keep you stuck. But like you said, my favorite part is looking at you said, my favorite part is looking at you said, my favorite part is looking at the the individual and like you said, the the individual and like you said, the the individual and like you said, getting crystal clear on the goals. What getting crystal clear on the goals. What getting crystal clear on the goals. What are they wanting to achieve? And then are they wanting to achieve? And then are they wanting to achieve? And then figuring out the most efficient kind of figuring out the most efficient kind of figuring out the most efficient kind of plan to get there. Because it's not just plan to get there. Because it's not just plan to get there. Because it's not just about, you know, we all got [  ] in our about, you know, we all got [  ] in our about, you know, we all got [  ] in our past, but it's like what what's directly past, but it's like what what's directly past, but it's like what what's directly tied to you not achieving this goal tied to you not achieving this goal tied to you not achieving this goal and and and what can we do in a very specific what can we do in a very specific what can we do in a very specific framework to release your foot on the framework to release your foot on the framework to release your foot on the brake that's keeping you from achieving brake that's keeping you from achieving brake that's keeping you from achieving that. And soon as you do release the that. And soon as you do release the that. And soon as you do release the foot on the brake, well, you're still foot on the brake, well, you're still foot on the brake, well, you're still not going anywhere. So then we have to not going anywhere. So then we have to not going anywhere. So then we have to also intelligently put your foot on the also intelligently put your foot on the also intelligently put your foot on the gas. And what's fun is we can use the gas. And what's fun is we can use the gas. And what's fun is we can use the same techniques but change them from, same techniques but change them from, same techniques but change them from, you know, trying to resolve an issue to you know, trying to resolve an issue to you know, trying to resolve an issue to just propelling you forward. And that's just propelling you forward. And that's just propelling you forward. And that's a lot that's a lot of fun for me. a lot that's a lot of fun for me. a lot that's a lot of fun for me. So the last point that I wanted to kind So the last point that I wanted to kind So the last point that I wanted to kind of wrap this up with is, you know, this of wrap this up with is, you know, this of wrap this up with is, you know, this idea idea idea that the level of growth and mental that the level of growth and mental that the level of growth and mental consciousness that your therapist has or consciousness that your therapist has or consciousness that your therapist has or whomever you are choosing to um be on a whomever you are choosing to um be on a whomever you are choosing to um be on a journey of of you know self-growth and journey of of you know self-growth and journey of of you know self-growth and development with will directly impact development with will directly impact development with will directly impact your outcomes. And this can sound crazy, your outcomes. And this can sound crazy, your outcomes. And this can sound crazy, but the individual who created the map but the individual who created the map but the individual who created the map of consciousness, which was essentially of consciousness, which was essentially of consciousness, which was essentially a numerical way to help you understand a numerical way to help you understand a numerical way to help you understand where you are at with your mental and where you are at with your mental and where you are at with your mental and emotional state. And he actually emotional state. And he actually emotional state. And he actually showcased some of the lowest vibration showcased some of the lowest vibration showcased some of the lowest vibration emotions which keep you feeling really, emotions which keep you feeling really, emotions which keep you feeling really, really, really shitty are guilt, shame, really, really shitty are guilt, shame, really, really shitty are guilt, shame, anger. Guilt and shame are actually the anger. Guilt and shame are actually the anger. Guilt and shame are actually the lowest. And so when you're in a place of lowest. And so when you're in a place of lowest. And so when you're in a place of guilting yourself or feeling shamed guilting yourself or feeling shamed guilting yourself or feeling shamed about something, if it's your own about something, if it's your own about something, if it's your own internal dialogue, if it's someone guilt internal dialogue, if it's someone guilt internal dialogue, if it's someone guilt and shaming you, um you're you're in a and shaming you, um you're you're in a and shaming you, um you're you're in a very low place where you're going to very low place where you're going to very low place where you're going to actually be attracting or creating a lot actually be attracting or creating a lot actually be attracting or creating a lot of chaos around you. It's going to feel of chaos around you. It's going to feel of chaos around you. It's going to feel like you're literally hitting rock like you're literally hitting rock like you're literally hitting rock bottom or you're in the [  ] trenches bottom or you're in the [  ] trenches bottom or you're in the [  ] trenches taking grenades. Like, you know, those taking grenades. Like, you know, those taking grenades. Like, you know, those are some of the phrases that come to are some of the phrases that come to are some of the phrases that come to mind. mind. mind. And so essentially when you start to And so essentially when you start to And so essentially when you start to grow yourself, there are higher levels grow yourself, there are higher levels grow yourself, there are higher levels of consciousness and you know just being of consciousness and you know just being of consciousness and you know just being neutral being like you know I'm going to neutral being like you know I'm going to neutral being like you know I'm going to kind of roll with the good, I'm going to kind of roll with the good, I'm going to kind of roll with the good, I'm going to roll with the bad and then it goes up roll with the bad and then it goes up roll with the bad and then it goes up from there. But essentially if your from there. But essentially if your from there. But essentially if your therapist, if your doctor, if your life therapist, if your doctor, if your life therapist, if your doctor, if your life coach, whomever you are working with is coach, whomever you are working with is coach, whomever you are working with is in one of those lower vibration places, in one of those lower vibration places, in one of those lower vibration places, they they live out of a place of fear. they they live out of a place of fear. they they live out of a place of fear. They live out of a place of worry. They They live out of a place of worry. They They live out of a place of worry. They live out of a place of anger or they live out of a place of anger or they live out of a place of anger or they have um deeprooted uh burrowed anger or have um deeprooted uh burrowed anger or have um deeprooted uh burrowed anger or they live in guilt and shame because of they live in guilt and shame because of they live in guilt and shame because of external factors or internal factors. external factors or internal factors. external factors or internal factors. This will actually scientifically affect This will actually scientifically affect This will actually scientifically affect your ability to get outcomes by working your ability to get outcomes by working your ability to get outcomes by working with them. with them. with them. How so? How so? How so? That's for that's the question for you That's for that's the question for you That's for that's the question for you to answer. to answer. to answer. I I asked you first. We'll compare I I asked you first. We'll compare I I asked you first. We'll compare answers. Well, part of it is they have not Well, part of it is they have not Well, part of it is they have not achieved what you are trying to achieve. achieved what you are trying to achieve. achieved what you are trying to achieve. So if you're trying to achieve a better So if you're trying to achieve a better So if you're trying to achieve a better life, if you want to achieve more level life, if you want to achieve more level life, if you want to achieve more level of peace, neutrality, enlightenment, uh of peace, neutrality, enlightenment, uh of peace, neutrality, enlightenment, uh love, love, love, quality relationships, if they're in quality relationships, if they're in quality relationships, if they're in those low vibration emotions, then those low vibration emotions, then those low vibration emotions, then chances are they have not achieved where chances are they have not achieved where chances are they have not achieved where you're trying to go. It's very difficult you're trying to go. It's very difficult you're trying to go. It's very difficult for someone to take you somewhere that for someone to take you somewhere that for someone to take you somewhere that you have never been. They have never you have never been. They have never you have never been. They have never been. been. been. No. Yeah. It's It's um You did a good No. Yeah. It's It's um You did a good No. Yeah. It's It's um You did a good job. Um job. Um job. Um thanks. [laughter] Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. You can think I'll I'll give a couple You can think I'll I'll give a couple You can think I'll I'll give a couple scenarios which I usually don't do. Um scenarios which I usually don't do. Um scenarios which I usually don't do. Um but you know, there's a reason that but you know, there's a reason that but you know, there's a reason that the CEO of Amazon, of Tesla, you know, the CEO of Amazon, of Tesla, you know, the CEO of Amazon, of Tesla, you know, of these huge companies are a different of these huge companies are a different of these huge companies are a different caliber, a different mindset from a mom caliber, a different mindset from a mom caliber, a different mindset from a mom and pop CEO. and pop CEO. and pop CEO. And it's because a mom and pop CEO, they And it's because a mom and pop CEO, they And it's because a mom and pop CEO, they don't have the don't have the don't have the level of awareness level of awareness level of awareness and balanced awareness to be able to and balanced awareness to be able to and balanced awareness to be able to handle stress challenges handle stress challenges handle stress challenges and to you. A challenge in a stress is and to you. A challenge in a stress is and to you. A challenge in a stress is just a hidden opportunity. And if you just a hidden opportunity. And if you just a hidden opportunity. And if you don't have a balanced mind, you'll miss don't have a balanced mind, you'll miss don't have a balanced mind, you'll miss the opportunity. the opportunity. the opportunity. These CEOs have such a large balanced These CEOs have such a large balanced These CEOs have such a large balanced awareness that they're not distracted by awareness that they're not distracted by awareness that they're not distracted by the pain, by the chaos, by the problems the pain, by the chaos, by the problems the pain, by the chaos, by the problems because they see through it and they see because they see through it and they see because they see through it and they see the opportunity. So they can use it for the opportunity. So they can use it for the opportunity. So they can use it for what it truly is as not something in the what it truly is as not something in the what it truly is as not something in the way, something on the way to serve them way, something on the way to serve them way, something on the way to serve them and serve the company. It's funny and serve the company. It's funny and serve the company. It's funny because I have the two business because I have the two business because I have the two business certifications with scaling up and certifications with scaling up and certifications with scaling up and metronomics and there was a moment where metronomics and there was a moment where metronomics and there was a moment where you know as we were I was going through you know as we were I was going through you know as we were I was going through the training and they said you know the training and they said you know the training and they said you know don't be confused with what the best don't be confused with what the best don't be confused with what the best CEOs CEOs CEOs are and what they're not and they're are and what they're not and they're are and what they're not and they're like the best CEOs in companies are the like the best CEOs in companies are the like the best CEOs in companies are the ones that are willing to take on the ones that are willing to take on the ones that are willing to take on the challenges and make the hardest challenges and make the hardest challenges and make the hardest decisions on a daily basis. not on a decisions on a daily basis. not on a decisions on a daily basis. not on a quarterly basis, not on a monthly basis, quarterly basis, not on a monthly basis, quarterly basis, not on a monthly basis, on a daily basis. They they navigate, on a daily basis. They they navigate, on a daily basis. They they navigate, you know, the most difficult challenges you know, the most difficult challenges you know, the most difficult challenges for companies with strategy, with poise, for companies with strategy, with poise, for companies with strategy, with poise, with um without with um without with um without emotional charge and they're able to emotional charge and they're able to emotional charge and they're able to make really hard decisions every single make really hard decisions every single make really hard decisions every single day. day. day. Well, the fun part about it is Well, the fun part about it is Well, the fun part about it is it's not saying it's not hard, it's not saying it's not hard, it's not saying it's not hard, but they're not that difficult to them. but they're not that difficult to them. but they're not that difficult to them. Oh, of course. Of course. They're just Oh, of course. Of course. They're just Oh, of course. Of course. They're just like they're wired that way and they like they're wired that way and they like they're wired that way and they Well, they've grown they've grown Well, they've grown they've grown Well, they've grown they've grown themselves, you know? It's like that themselves, you know? It's like that themselves, you know? It's like that level of consciousness. It's like level of consciousness. It's like level of consciousness. It's like we all start out with, you know, guilt we all start out with, you know, guilt we all start out with, you know, guilt and shame, etc. Like we all have that in and shame, etc. Like we all have that in and shame, etc. Like we all have that in our life, but it's like do we stay there our life, but it's like do we stay there our life, but it's like do we stay there or did we figure out how to use it to or did we figure out how to use it to or did we figure out how to use it to grow it to transform that grow it to transform that grow it to transform that into love, grace, gratitude, into love, grace, gratitude, into love, grace, gratitude, and joy. So when you're talking about, and joy. So when you're talking about, and joy. So when you're talking about, you know, who are you working with, you know, who are you working with, you know, who are you working with, you should have a decent idea of where you should have a decent idea of where you should have a decent idea of where they are on their path because they they are on their path because they they are on their path because they can't give you something that they don't can't give you something that they don't can't give you something that they don't have themselves. Mhm. And it's also, you have themselves. Mhm. And it's also, you have themselves. Mhm. And it's also, you know, it it's 100% know, it it's 100% know, it it's 100% normal for you to ask your own person normal for you to ask your own person normal for you to ask your own person that you're hiring questions. You know, that you're hiring questions. You know, that you're hiring questions. You know, why do you do what you do? How did you why do you do what you do? How did you why do you do what you do? How did you get into this? You know, what's the get into this? You know, what's the get into this? You know, what's the driver for continuing to do it? I driver for continuing to do it? I driver for continuing to do it? I imagine it's difficult work. Um and you imagine it's difficult work. Um and you imagine it's difficult work. Um and you know being able to get that feedback know being able to get that feedback know being able to get that feedback from them as to why they do what they do from them as to why they do what they do from them as to why they do what they do because in our experience with uh I because in our experience with uh I because in our experience with uh I would say meeting a lot of therapists would say meeting a lot of therapists would say meeting a lot of therapists that wanted to do collaborations with us that wanted to do collaborations with us that wanted to do collaborations with us when we had integrated wellness group when we had integrated wellness group when we had integrated wellness group and even integrative you know a lot of and even integrative you know a lot of and even integrative you know a lot of times they were doing what they do out times they were doing what they do out times they were doing what they do out of a void and they were doing it out of of a void and they were doing it out of of a void and they were doing it out of a level of desperation and not a level of desperation and not a level of desperation and not inspiration. They weren't inspired to inspiration. They weren't inspired to inspiration. They weren't inspired to help people become the best versions of help people become the best versions of help people become the best versions of themselves and to um have the best themselves and to um have the best themselves and to um have the best outcomes for whatever their vision is. outcomes for whatever their vision is. outcomes for whatever their vision is. They were doing it out of their own They were doing it out of their own They were doing it out of their own personal void of I was depressed and now personal void of I was depressed and now personal void of I was depressed and now I want to help other people not be I want to help other people not be I want to help other people not be depressed. Like that's not a great depressed. Like that's not a great depressed. Like that's not a great reason to do what you do. And that is reason to do what you do. And that is reason to do what you do. And that is also a facade and also that doesn't also a facade and also that doesn't also a facade and also that doesn't consider that what if the person that's consider that what if the person that's consider that what if the person that's not what their outcome their desired not what their outcome their desired not what their outcome their desired outcome is. What if their desired outcome is. What if their desired outcome is. What if their desired outcome is something completely outcome is something completely outcome is something completely different? How are you helping them if different? How are you helping them if different? How are you helping them if you're only looking at a patient from you're only looking at a patient from you're only looking at a patient from one lens? [snorts] one lens? [snorts] one lens? [snorts] And you know, you're not going to if And you know, you're not going to if And you know, you're not going to if you're just starting out in the world you're just starting out in the world you're just starting out in the world and depending on how big your goals are, and depending on how big your goals are, and depending on how big your goals are, like you're not probably going to start like you're not probably going to start like you're not probably going to start out with the best coach, the best out with the best coach, the best out with the best coach, the best therapist, the best, etc. Because, you therapist, the best, etc. Because, you therapist, the best, etc. Because, you know, it's a journey to to go up that know, it's a journey to to go up that know, it's a journey to to go up that ladder. you know, our first our first ladder. you know, our first our first ladder. you know, our first our first our first business coach, you know, our first business coach, you know, our first business coach, you know, she's what we needed. We we weren't she's what we needed. We we weren't she's what we needed. We we weren't ready for somebody that was, you know, ready for somebody that was, you know, ready for somebody that was, you know, who we need now. Like, we're two who we need now. Like, we're two who we need now. Like, we're two different levels of awareness different levels of awareness different levels of awareness at the same time. And and this is kind at the same time. And and this is kind at the same time. And and this is kind of why I said what I said earlier about, of why I said what I said earlier about, of why I said what I said earlier about, you know, you know, you know, when since starting therapy, where are when since starting therapy, where are when since starting therapy, where are you at? You know, h has your life you at? You know, h has your life you at? You know, h has your life changed? Have you been able to make changed? Have you been able to make changed? Have you been able to make better decisions? Have you been able to, better decisions? Have you been able to, better decisions? Have you been able to, you know, do things that are more you know, do things that are more you know, do things that are more self-serving? or do you feel stuck or do self-serving? or do you feel stuck or do self-serving? or do you feel stuck or do you even feel backwards? And I say this you even feel backwards? And I say this you even feel backwards? And I say this because of actually the scientist because of actually the scientist because of actually the scientist scientific um study that was proving uh scientific um study that was proving uh scientific um study that was proving uh performance in corporate work workplaces performance in corporate work workplaces performance in corporate work workplaces and essentially they found that you know and essentially they found that you know and essentially they found that you know in teams that if there were let's call in teams that if there were let's call in teams that if there were let's call it five people on a team and there were it five people on a team and there were it five people on a team and there were four A players top performers and there four A players top performers and there four A players top performers and there was only one underperformer was only one underperformer was only one underperformer it actually dropped the performance of it actually dropped the performance of it actually dropped the performance of the team by 30%. the team by 30%. the team by 30%. So even though it's a 4:1 ratio, one So even though it's a 4:1 ratio, one So even though it's a 4:1 ratio, one crappy employee brought down the crappy employee brought down the crappy employee brought down the performance and the morale of the rest performance and the morale of the rest performance and the morale of the rest of the team who were all a players like of the team who were all a players like of the team who were all a players like top top people by 30%. Like that's a big top top people by 30%. Like that's a big top top people by 30%. Like that's a big percentage. And so essentially you have percentage. And so essentially you have percentage. And so essentially you have to think about this in relation to your to think about this in relation to your to think about this in relation to your the people that surround you and the the people that surround you and the the people that surround you and the people that you hire to help you. So, if people that you hire to help you. So, if people that you hire to help you. So, if you're surrounded by really negative you're surrounded by really negative you're surrounded by really negative victim mindset people, you're going to victim mindset people, you're going to victim mindset people, you're going to tend to be held back in certain ways tend to be held back in certain ways tend to be held back in certain ways because of who you collectively surround because of who you collectively surround because of who you collectively surround yourself with. And this also goes for if yourself with. And this also goes for if yourself with. And this also goes for if you have, you know, an an individual you have, you know, an an individual you have, you know, an an individual who's helping you uh from a therapy who's helping you uh from a therapy who's helping you uh from a therapy perspective and they validate your story perspective and they validate your story perspective and they validate your story and they essentially chime in and almost and they essentially chime in and almost and they essentially chime in and almost talk crap on the person that you're talk crap on the person that you're talk crap on the person that you're bringing to the therapy session. you bringing to the therapy session. you bringing to the therapy session. you know, you will have outcomes directly know, you will have outcomes directly know, you will have outcomes directly related to that individual that not only related to that individual that not only related to that individual that not only are you surrounding yourself with, but are you surrounding yourself with, but are you surrounding yourself with, but you are actually delegating your own you are actually delegating your own you are actually delegating your own personal um thought processes to. personal um thought processes to. personal um thought processes to. Yeah. As we're kind of wrapping things Yeah. As we're kind of wrapping things Yeah. As we're kind of wrapping things up, you know, for me, up, you know, for me, up, you know, for me, this it's a lot can get confusing for this it's a lot can get confusing for this it's a lot can get confusing for people. So, I would say like a quick red people. So, I would say like a quick red people. So, I would say like a quick red flag for you to know that if a flag for you to know that if a flag for you to know that if a therapist, a coach isn't good is if therapist, a coach isn't good is if therapist, a coach isn't good is if they're siding with something or they're siding with something or they're siding with something or someone. Um, because that's just growing someone. Um, because that's just growing someone. Um, because that's just growing that division, that separation, which is that division, that separation, which is that division, that separation, which is actually the causation of that problem, actually the causation of that problem, actually the causation of that problem, of that issue, of that cycle. So, of that issue, of that cycle. So, of that issue, of that cycle. So, and I'll piggyback off that and give you and I'll piggyback off that and give you and I'll piggyback off that and give you my one tip as well is if you're a person my one tip as well is if you're a person my one tip as well is if you're a person who you tend to be a learner, you tend who you tend to be a learner, you tend who you tend to be a learner, you tend to, you know, always think outside the to, you know, always think outside the to, you know, always think outside the box. You know, you you really are box. You know, you you really are box. You know, you you really are working towards creating a great life working towards creating a great life working towards creating a great life for yourself and whatever vision that for yourself and whatever vision that for yourself and whatever vision that is. And you've been doing therapy is. And you've been doing therapy is. And you've been doing therapy because you feel like it's the right because you feel like it's the right because you feel like it's the right thing to do and you feel like it's thing to do and you feel like it's thing to do and you feel like it's helped you. If you feel like you've helped you. If you feel like you've helped you. If you feel like you've gotten to a place that you are just gotten to a place that you are just gotten to a place that you are just personally just stuck and you feel like personally just stuck and you feel like personally just stuck and you feel like a lot of the sessions are more a lot of the sessions are more a lot of the sessions are more harmonious, there's there's not a lot of harmonious, there's there's not a lot of harmonious, there's there's not a lot of question asking, it's it's very you feel question asking, it's it's very you feel question asking, it's it's very you feel very nice afterwards, it might be time very nice afterwards, it might be time very nice afterwards, it might be time for you to go up that ladder as we Dr. for you to go up that ladder as we Dr. for you to go up that ladder as we Dr. Nick mentioned earlier is being able to Nick mentioned earlier is being able to Nick mentioned earlier is being able to then work with a therapist who is going then work with a therapist who is going then work with a therapist who is going to to to create more thoughtprovoking create more thoughtprovoking create more thoughtprovoking questions. you know, be able to questions. you know, be able to questions. you know, be able to challenge you in a way for growth, challenge you in a way for growth, challenge you in a way for growth, challenge you in a way for you to be challenge you in a way for you to be challenge you in a way for you to be bold enough to create the life that you bold enough to create the life that you bold enough to create the life that you really really want, to attract the really really want, to attract the really really want, to attract the partner that you want, to parent your partner that you want, to parent your partner that you want, to parent your kids that is best aligned to your family kids that is best aligned to your family kids that is best aligned to your family values, so on and so forth. So, it it's values, so on and so forth. So, it it's values, so on and so forth. So, it it's definitely understanding that not all definitely understanding that not all definitely understanding that not all therapy should look the same and there therapy should look the same and there therapy should look the same and there are different iterations of it. And as are different iterations of it. And as are different iterations of it. And as you grow and you maybe feel like things you grow and you maybe feel like things you grow and you maybe feel like things are stagnant, it's time to work with a are stagnant, it's time to work with a are stagnant, it's time to work with a therapist that can take you to the next therapist that can take you to the next therapist that can take you to the next level. And that growth is a different level. And that growth is a different level. And that growth is a different way to think about it is just you're way to think about it is just you're way to think about it is just you're creating a higher standard. And you creating a higher standard. And you creating a higher standard. And you know, you don't you don't jump all the know, you don't you don't jump all the know, you don't you don't jump all the way to the top. That's impossible to to way to the top. That's impossible to to way to the top. That's impossible to to reach to change that fast. It's not reach to change that fast. It's not reach to change that fast. It's not impossible, but very difficult. Um so impossible, but very difficult. Um so impossible, but very difficult. Um so it's just realizing that you know this it's just realizing that you know this it's just realizing that you know this is life now. you know, if I continue is life now. you know, if I continue is life now. you know, if I continue doing what I'm doing, is that going to doing what I'm doing, is that going to doing what I'm doing, is that going to give me that appreciation, that growth? give me that appreciation, that growth? give me that appreciation, that growth? Um, or do I need it? Do I need more Um, or do I need it? Do I need more Um, or do I need it? Do I need more challenge? You know, that's one of my challenge? You know, that's one of my challenge? You know, that's one of my favorite things to do is people people favorite things to do is people people favorite things to do is people people come to me with a challenge and I come to me with a challenge and I come to me with a challenge and I challenge them even more. Um, which is challenge them even more. Um, which is challenge them even more. Um, which is fun. But that's, you know, my one of my fun. But that's, you know, my one of my fun. But that's, you know, my one of my favorite quotes is, well, I guess favorite quotes is, well, I guess favorite quotes is, well, I guess stories is people went up to Henry Ford stories is people went up to Henry Ford stories is people went up to Henry Ford and they wanted a faster horse and and and they wanted a faster horse and and and they wanted a faster horse and and he looked at, you know, the scenario and he looked at, you know, the scenario and he looked at, you know, the scenario and he's like, "This is what you want, but he's like, "This is what you want, but he's like, "This is what you want, but that's not really going to serve you. that's not really going to serve you. that's not really going to serve you. I'm going to give you what you need." I'm going to give you what you need." I'm going to give you what you need." And he created a car. And he created a car. And he created a car. Mhm. And that's that's how I look at the Mhm. And that's that's how I look at the Mhm. And that's that's how I look at the situation with people is, you know, they situation with people is, you know, they situation with people is, you know, they come to you with what they think they come to you with what they think they come to you with what they think they they want. they want. they want. And not necessarily a bad thing, but And not necessarily a bad thing, but And not necessarily a bad thing, but when you give them what they need, holy when you give them what they need, holy when you give them what they need, holy [  ] like they're set free. [  ] like they're set free. [  ] like they're set free. The magic happens. Yeah. 100%. The magic happens. Yeah. 100%. The magic happens. Yeah. 100%. All right, guys. For those of you that All right, guys. For those of you that All right, guys. For those of you that are like super vibing, so one, check out are like super vibing, so one, check out are like super vibing, so one, check out the D Martini um the breakthrough on the D Martini um the breakthrough on the D Martini um the breakthrough on Amazon. also, you know, uh, reach out to Amazon. also, you know, uh, reach out to Amazon. also, you know, uh, reach out to us if you are looking to take up, uh, us if you are looking to take up, uh, us if you are looking to take up, uh, your therapy to the next level. Uh, Dr. your therapy to the next level. Uh, Dr. your therapy to the next level. Uh, Dr. Nick would love to, you know, [  ] with Nick would love to, you know, [  ] with Nick would love to, you know, [  ] with you a little bit and ask you really you a little bit and ask you really you a little bit and ask you really thoughtprovoking questions. thoughtprovoking questions. thoughtprovoking questions. And I'm not a therapist. And I'm not a therapist. And I'm not a therapist. Yes. No, but you do really help people Yes. No, but you do really help people Yes. No, but you do really help people overcome their challenges and design a overcome their challenges and design a overcome their challenges and design a really awesome life for themselves. So, really awesome life for themselves. So, really awesome life for themselves. So, with that being said, we'll see you on with that being said, we'll see you on with that being said, we'll see you on the next one. [music]