The World Got Soft & It's Making Us Sick | Webinar

What's up everyone? Welcome back to What's up everyone? Welcome back to What's up everyone? Welcome back to another episode of Integrative You another episode of Integrative You another episode of Integrative You Radio. You have Dr. Nicole here and for Radio. You have Dr. Nicole here and for Radio. You have Dr. Nicole here and for those of you joining us on YouTube, this those of you joining us on YouTube, this those of you joining us on YouTube, this is just what you get right now. I got a is just what you get right now. I got a is just what you get right now. I got a one-mon-old one-mon-old one-mon-old and uh you know, it's uh it's like ride and uh you know, it's uh it's like ride and uh you know, it's uh it's like ride or die over here. or die over here. or die over here. So, getting real and raw as per usual on So, getting real and raw as per usual on So, getting real and raw as per usual on our podcast. And our podcast. And our podcast. And there's kind of a couple of topics that there's kind of a couple of topics that there's kind of a couple of topics that all ended up fusing together when I was all ended up fusing together when I was all ended up fusing together when I was really really thinking about this really really thinking about this really really thinking about this podcast. And the the overarching podcast. And the the overarching podcast. And the the overarching message message message is is how we are curating is is how we are curating is is how we are curating a culture that is scared of challenge. a culture that is scared of challenge. a culture that is scared of challenge. and how this is actually hurting us as a and how this is actually hurting us as a and how this is actually hurting us as a whole. And it's one of the biggest whole. And it's one of the biggest whole. And it's one of the biggest [  ] drivers of anxiety. [  ] drivers of anxiety. [  ] drivers of anxiety. And you know, it's actually very funny And you know, it's actually very funny And you know, it's actually very funny because I always tell you guys the because I always tell you guys the because I always tell you guys the stories of how these podcasts come stories of how these podcasts come stories of how these podcasts come about. And it's usually when we are just about. And it's usually when we are just about. And it's usually when we are just out and about living life and we strike out and about living life and we strike out and about living life and we strike up a conversation, Dr. Nick and I, and up a conversation, Dr. Nick and I, and up a conversation, Dr. Nick and I, and he would be here, but uh again, you he would be here, but uh again, you he would be here, but uh again, you know, one month old, three and a know, one month old, three and a know, one month old, three and a halfyear-old, it's a little wild over halfyear-old, it's a little wild over halfyear-old, it's a little wild over here. here. here. and we saw a very oversized child that and we saw a very oversized child that and we saw a very oversized child that looked like they were 10 or older in a looked like they were 10 or older in a looked like they were 10 or older in a stroller. And we were just thinking in stroller. And we were just thinking in stroller. And we were just thinking in our heads, you know, our three and a our heads, you know, our three and a our heads, you know, our three and a halfyear-old is pretty independent. And, halfyear-old is pretty independent. And, halfyear-old is pretty independent. And, you know, I I can't even imagine where you know, I I can't even imagine where you know, I I can't even imagine where he'll be by the time he's 5 or 6 years he'll be by the time he's 5 or 6 years he'll be by the time he's 5 or 6 years old. And the idea of a very large grown old. And the idea of a very large grown old. And the idea of a very large grown child being in a stroller, it was just child being in a stroller, it was just child being in a stroller, it was just in an odd uh observation. in an odd uh observation. in an odd uh observation. And it just got us on this topic of this And it just got us on this topic of this And it just got us on this topic of this one-sided one-sided one-sided world that we're living in that it's a world that we're living in that it's a world that we're living in that it's a lot of these frameworks and parenting lot of these frameworks and parenting lot of these frameworks and parenting styles and even company cultures are all styles and even company cultures are all styles and even company cultures are all about support, support, support, about support, support, support, about support, support, support, nurture, nurture, nurture. And you know, nurture, nurture, nurture. And you know, nurture, nurture, nurture. And you know, we're we're scared of challenge and we we're we're scared of challenge and we we're we're scared of challenge and we don't want to rock the boat and we want don't want to rock the boat and we want don't want to rock the boat and we want to create harmony and you know, we don't to create harmony and you know, we don't to create harmony and you know, we don't want to [  ] our kids up the way that want to [  ] our kids up the way that want to [  ] our kids up the way that maybe we got messed up. But really, it maybe we got messed up. But really, it maybe we got messed up. But really, it comes down to this balance. And and comes down to this balance. And and comes down to this balance. And and really, this is what the laws of energy really, this is what the laws of energy really, this is what the laws of energy and the laws of physics are built off of and the laws of physics are built off of and the laws of physics are built off of is it's all about balance. If you think is it's all about balance. If you think is it's all about balance. If you think that something is going to be one-sided, that something is going to be one-sided, that something is going to be one-sided, if you think the world is going to only if you think the world is going to only if you think the world is going to only be peaceful and there there will be no be peaceful and there there will be no be peaceful and there there will be no war, if there's only going to be nice war, if there's only going to be nice war, if there's only going to be nice kids and no bullies, like that is kids and no bullies, like that is kids and no bullies, like that is actually robbing us of gained learnings, actually robbing us of gained learnings, actually robbing us of gained learnings, lessons, and wisdom. So, we need to lessons, and wisdom. So, we need to lessons, and wisdom. So, we need to shift our perception around challenge shift our perception around challenge shift our perception around challenge being so bad because it's not. And it's being so bad because it's not. And it's being so bad because it's not. And it's funny because I was also looking at funny because I was also looking at funny because I was also looking at Instagram and this is a phrase that I Instagram and this is a phrase that I Instagram and this is a phrase that I say all the time, but there was this say all the time, but there was this say all the time, but there was this 80some yearear-old woman and she has 80some yearear-old woman and she has 80some yearear-old woman and she has this awesome Instagram account and it's this awesome Instagram account and it's this awesome Instagram account and it's just her giving out advice from her, you just her giving out advice from her, you just her giving out advice from her, you know, many years alive and she's real know, many years alive and she's real know, many years alive and she's real and she's raw and she she goes, you and she's raw and she she goes, you and she's raw and she she goes, you know, straight to the point and she said know, straight to the point and she said know, straight to the point and she said the very phrase that I love that I speak the very phrase that I love that I speak the very phrase that I love that I speak upon to so many of our clients, upon to so many of our clients, upon to so many of our clients, especially young individuals, is it's especially young individuals, is it's especially young individuals, is it's not rejection, it's redirection. And not rejection, it's redirection. And not rejection, it's redirection. And this is something that can create so this is something that can create so this is something that can create so much freedom energetically, much freedom energetically, much freedom energetically, psychologically psychologically psychologically when you understand it and you [  ] when you understand it and you [  ] when you understand it and you [  ] trust it because we want to control trust it because we want to control trust it because we want to control things. That is a a human tendency. It's things. That is a a human tendency. It's things. That is a a human tendency. It's actually a bad neurological wiring based actually a bad neurological wiring based actually a bad neurological wiring based off of fear in reality. off of fear in reality. off of fear in reality. But we jump in when things get scary and But we jump in when things get scary and But we jump in when things get scary and we want to control it. But in reality, we want to control it. But in reality, we want to control it. But in reality, you can't. Sometimes you need to you can't. Sometimes you need to you can't. Sometimes you need to surrender to what is happening and trust surrender to what is happening and trust surrender to what is happening and trust that it is putting you on the route in that it is putting you on the route in that it is putting you on the route in the direction that you are meant to go. the direction that you are meant to go. the direction that you are meant to go. And so one of the reasons why this is so And so one of the reasons why this is so And so one of the reasons why this is so freaking hard for people is because we freaking hard for people is because we freaking hard for people is because we live in a world of distraction. We live live in a world of distraction. We live live in a world of distraction. We live in a world it started as entertainment in a world it started as entertainment in a world it started as entertainment you know TV movie theaters music you know TV movie theaters music you know TV movie theaters music concerts you know all those things are concerts you know all those things are concerts you know all those things are fantastic fantastic fantastic but now in this this current age where but now in this this current age where but now in this this current age where we have these little mini computers in we have these little mini computers in we have these little mini computers in our pockets and these little mini our pockets and these little mini our pockets and these little mini computers in our pockets are being given computers in our pockets are being given computers in our pockets are being given to younger and younger and younger to younger and younger and younger to younger and younger and younger generations and part of the reason is generations and part of the reason is generations and part of the reason is because of fear. I need to know where my because of fear. I need to know where my because of fear. I need to know where my kid is so I need them to have a phone. kid is so I need them to have a phone. kid is so I need them to have a phone. What about all of the, you know, What about all of the, you know, What about all of the, you know, millennials and older that survived? We millennials and older that survived? We millennials and older that survived? We all survived without cell phones, all survived without cell phones, all survived without cell phones, without being tracked every minute of without being tracked every minute of without being tracked every minute of our lives. You know, there was a lot of our lives. You know, there was a lot of our lives. You know, there was a lot of positives that came along with that that positives that came along with that that positives that came along with that that I feel like have been completely erased I feel like have been completely erased I feel like have been completely erased or forgotten. And now we think that or forgotten. And now we think that or forgotten. And now we think that constantly being connected to each other constantly being connected to each other constantly being connected to each other and constantly being connected to, you and constantly being connected to, you and constantly being connected to, you know, the the internet and people that know, the the internet and people that know, the the internet and people that we don't even know on the internet is a we don't even know on the internet is a we don't even know on the internet is a positive thing or it's a necessary positive thing or it's a necessary positive thing or it's a necessary thing. thing. thing. So the point that I'm making is that So the point that I'm making is that So the point that I'm making is that we've moved from entertainment into we've moved from entertainment into we've moved from entertainment into fullblown distraction. Um, it's kind of fullblown distraction. Um, it's kind of fullblown distraction. Um, it's kind of interesting because we have our my interesting because we have our my interesting because we have our my father-in-law here and he is in his father-in-law here and he is in his father-in-law here and he is in his mid70s and I think that it's not mid70s and I think that it's not mid70s and I think that it's not necessarily always talked about or necessarily always talked about or necessarily always talked about or acknowledged how social media and acknowledged how social media and acknowledged how social media and addiction to these computer devices is addiction to these computer devices is addiction to these computer devices is not just happening in the younger not just happening in the younger not just happening in the younger generation and you know the the generation and you know the the generation and you know the the professional generation. Those of us professional generation. Those of us professional generation. Those of us that feel like we have to be on that feel like we have to be on that feel like we have to be on constantly because we are running a constantly because we are running a constantly because we are running a business or we are aspiring to have some business or we are aspiring to have some business or we are aspiring to have some type of side hustle or we're working type of side hustle or we're working type of side hustle or we're working these high-profile these high-profile these high-profile uh job 9 toive jobs. But now there's a a uh job 9 toive jobs. But now there's a a uh job 9 toive jobs. But now there's a a series of individuals that are retired, series of individuals that are retired, series of individuals that are retired, bored, don't know their purpose because bored, don't know their purpose because bored, don't know their purpose because they just got up and went to work every they just got up and went to work every they just got up and went to work every day and now they don't have that to do day and now they don't have that to do day and now they don't have that to do anymore. and they're sitting on these anymore. and they're sitting on these anymore. and they're sitting on these devices for hours on end as a devices for hours on end as a devices for hours on end as a distraction. So, if you're constantly distraction. So, if you're constantly distraction. So, if you're constantly distracted or entertained or looking for distracted or entertained or looking for distracted or entertained or looking for these dopamine hits, which is these dopamine hits, which is these dopamine hits, which is essentially what social media does, then essentially what social media does, then essentially what social media does, then you don't have any time to sit, to you don't have any time to sit, to you don't have any time to sit, to think, to really think, to really think, to really think bigger, think outside of the box think bigger, think outside of the box think bigger, think outside of the box for what you presume to be bad, what you for what you presume to be bad, what you for what you presume to be bad, what you presume to be negative, what you presume presume to be negative, what you presume presume to be negative, what you presume to be fear, what you presume to be the to be fear, what you presume to be the to be fear, what you presume to be the thing making you anxious. Because you thing making you anxious. Because you thing making you anxious. Because you don't have the time to shift your don't have the time to shift your don't have the time to shift your perception from fear to faith. This is perception from fear to faith. This is perception from fear to faith. This is happening for a reason. You don't have happening for a reason. You don't have happening for a reason. You don't have the time to say, "Oh, I just got left or the time to say, "Oh, I just got left or the time to say, "Oh, I just got left or what am I trying to say? I just got let what am I trying to say? I just got let what am I trying to say? I just got let go from my job. I just got dumped. What go from my job. I just got dumped. What go from my job. I just got dumped. What does this mean? What is the redirection does this mean? What is the redirection does this mean? What is the redirection that's happening? What is the that's happening? What is the that's happening? What is the opportunity that lies ahead? What's the opportunity that lies ahead? What's the opportunity that lies ahead? What's the opportunity in the current moment? If opportunity in the current moment? If opportunity in the current moment? If you start to ask yourself better you start to ask yourself better you start to ask yourself better questions, one, you're going to get questions, one, you're going to get questions, one, you're going to get yourself out of a [  ] mindset quicker. yourself out of a [  ] mindset quicker. yourself out of a [  ] mindset quicker. You're going to get yourself out of You're going to get yourself out of You're going to get yourself out of fear. You're going to get yourself out fear. You're going to get yourself out fear. You're going to get yourself out of grief. You're going to get yourself of grief. You're going to get yourself of grief. You're going to get yourself out of sadness. And you're going to out of sadness. And you're going to out of sadness. And you're going to actually be able to know how to use the actually be able to know how to use the actually be able to know how to use the current challenge or experience. current challenge or experience. current challenge or experience. But if you stay [  ] distracted and But if you stay [  ] distracted and But if you stay [  ] distracted and you also listen to other miserable you also listen to other miserable you also listen to other miserable people, you're [  ] people, you're [  ] people, you're [  ] Like in plain English, that's what's Like in plain English, that's what's Like in plain English, that's what's happening. You know, there was a recent happening. You know, there was a recent happening. You know, there was a recent situation that, you know, we had a a situation that, you know, we had a a situation that, you know, we had a a client who was surrounded by a a group client who was surrounded by a a group client who was surrounded by a a group of women. I don't know these women at of women. I don't know these women at of women. I don't know these women at all, that were all speaking on behalf of all, that were all speaking on behalf of all, that were all speaking on behalf of their symptoms that, you know, this is their symptoms that, you know, this is their symptoms that, you know, this is just normal for our age. This is what just normal for our age. This is what just normal for our age. This is what happens. This is what happens in happens. This is what happens in happens. This is what happens in menopause. And I said, you know, you menopause. And I said, you know, you menopause. And I said, you know, you have to be careful who you surround have to be careful who you surround have to be careful who you surround yourself with and you have to be careful yourself with and you have to be careful yourself with and you have to be careful who you listen to because that's not who you listen to because that's not who you listen to because that's not reality for a series of other people in reality for a series of other people in reality for a series of other people in the world. There are people that have no the world. There are people that have no the world. There are people that have no menopausal symptoms and there is people menopausal symptoms and there is people menopausal symptoms and there is people that are debilitated from menopause and that are debilitated from menopause and that are debilitated from menopause and there is a variety of reasons why that there is a variety of reasons why that there is a variety of reasons why that happens and there are a variety of happens and there are a variety of happens and there are a variety of solutions. Do not put yourself in a box solutions. Do not put yourself in a box solutions. Do not put yourself in a box because of the people that you surround because of the people that you surround because of the people that you surround yourself with that are feeding you yourself with that are feeding you yourself with that are feeding you [  ] lies because really at the end [  ] lies because really at the end [  ] lies because really at the end of the day everything is a halftruth. So of the day everything is a halftruth. So of the day everything is a halftruth. So if somebody says, "Oh no, menopause is if somebody says, "Oh no, menopause is if somebody says, "Oh no, menopause is bad and menopause makes you feel like bad and menopause makes you feel like bad and menopause makes you feel like [  ] and menopause makes you lose your [  ] and menopause makes you lose your [  ] and menopause makes you lose your libido and menopause makes your hair libido and menopause makes your hair libido and menopause makes your hair fall out and menopause makes you fall out and menopause makes you fall out and menopause makes you miserable and anxious." That is a miserable and anxious." That is a miserable and anxious." That is a halftruth because that's the truth for halftruth because that's the truth for halftruth because that's the truth for that current person, but that doesn't that current person, but that doesn't that current person, but that doesn't mean it's the truth for anyone else. So mean it's the truth for anyone else. So mean it's the truth for anyone else. So you have to really look at the world you have to really look at the world you have to really look at the world from this from this lens of everything's from this from this lens of everything's from this from this lens of everything's a halftruth. We don't have to tell a halftruth. We don't have to tell a halftruth. We don't have to tell people you're wrong, that's not it. people you're wrong, that's not it. people you're wrong, that's not it. That's their truth. That doesn't mean That's their truth. That doesn't mean That's their truth. That doesn't mean it's your truth. it's your truth. it's your truth. So we need to understand that you can't So we need to understand that you can't So we need to understand that you can't save your kids, you can't save your save your kids, you can't save your save your kids, you can't save your loved ones, you can't save anybody. loved ones, you can't save anybody. loved ones, you can't save anybody. You everyone has their own journey. And You everyone has their own journey. And You everyone has their own journey. And also, what are you saving them from? also, what are you saving them from? also, what are you saving them from? You're saving them from what you You're saving them from what you You're saving them from what you perceive to be bad or negative. You perceive to be bad or negative. You perceive to be bad or negative. You know, let's talk about a car accident. know, let's talk about a car accident. know, let's talk about a car accident. Like, nobody wants to see any relative, Like, nobody wants to see any relative, Like, nobody wants to see any relative, kid, child, husband, wife get into a car kid, child, husband, wife get into a car kid, child, husband, wife get into a car accident. But if you think you can accident. But if you think you can accident. But if you think you can control that outcome, you're out of your control that outcome, you're out of your control that outcome, you're out of your mind. You cannot control someone like mind. You cannot control someone like mind. You cannot control someone like your child getting into a car accident your child getting into a car accident your child getting into a car accident or not. So, what can you control? Can or not. So, what can you control? Can or not. So, what can you control? Can [Music] [Music] [Music] the fact that one, you lead by example. the fact that one, you lead by example. the fact that one, you lead by example. You never as the parent or or the mentor You never as the parent or or the mentor You never as the parent or or the mentor or the teacher, you never get in the car or the teacher, you never get in the car or the teacher, you never get in the car angry. You never get in the car angry. You never get in the car angry. You never get in the car intoxicated. intoxicated. intoxicated. You show that you never pick up a cell You show that you never pick up a cell You show that you never pick up a cell phone, no matter what's going on while phone, no matter what's going on while phone, no matter what's going on while you're driving. you're driving. you're driving. Do you spend time with them to teach Do you spend time with them to teach Do you spend time with them to teach them how to be a better driver? Do you them how to be a better driver? Do you them how to be a better driver? Do you teach them that you have to have your teach them that you have to have your teach them that you have to have your eyes all over? You need to look in the eyes all over? You need to look in the eyes all over? You need to look in the rearview mirror. You need to look to the rearview mirror. You need to look to the rearview mirror. You need to look to the sides. You need to be present. sides. You need to be present. sides. You need to be present. Those are the things that you can offer. Those are the things that you can offer. Those are the things that you can offer. You can't control the outcome of car You can't control the outcome of car You can't control the outcome of car accident or no car accident. You can't accident or no car accident. You can't accident or no car accident. You can't control the outcomes of what your kids control the outcomes of what your kids control the outcomes of what your kids want to do with their lives. You can't want to do with their lives. You can't want to do with their lives. You can't control the outcomes, the health control the outcomes, the health control the outcomes, the health outcomes for your mom, your dad, your outcomes for your mom, your dad, your outcomes for your mom, your dad, your aunt, your uncle. So if we could aunt, your uncle. So if we could aunt, your uncle. So if we could relinquish this idea that we can control relinquish this idea that we can control relinquish this idea that we can control which is all rooted in fear and anxiety which is all rooted in fear and anxiety which is all rooted in fear and anxiety and one understand you can only and one understand you can only and one understand you can only contribute in ways that you can as the contribute in ways that you can as the contribute in ways that you can as the example we just talked about with the example we just talked about with the example we just talked about with the car accident or avoiding a car accident car accident or avoiding a car accident car accident or avoiding a car accident I should say. I should say. I should say. But also too, you have to understand But also too, you have to understand But also too, you have to understand that you are robbing people of that you are robbing people of that you are robbing people of wisdom, lessons, learnings if you think wisdom, lessons, learnings if you think wisdom, lessons, learnings if you think that you're just going to provide that you're just going to provide that you're just going to provide support and a beautiful safety neta support and a beautiful safety neta support and a beautiful safety neta safety blanket all the time and you're safety blanket all the time and you're safety blanket all the time and you're not going to let them experience their not going to let them experience their not going to let them experience their own challenge. If someone has poor own challenge. If someone has poor own challenge. If someone has poor health, poor health starts in the mind. health, poor health starts in the mind. health, poor health starts in the mind. They have something to learn. They have They have something to learn. They have They have something to learn. They have something that they need to work through something that they need to work through something that they need to work through on their own. You can't do that for on their own. You can't do that for on their own. You can't do that for them. They need to want to do that. I them. They need to want to do that. I them. They need to want to do that. I loved Mel Robbins when she said if they loved Mel Robbins when she said if they loved Mel Robbins when she said if they wanted to, they would. We don't even wanted to, they would. We don't even wanted to, they would. We don't even accept clients if if the wife is calling accept clients if if the wife is calling accept clients if if the wife is calling on behalf of the husband or someone is on behalf of the husband or someone is on behalf of the husband or someone is calling beha on behalf of their aunt, calling beha on behalf of their aunt, calling beha on behalf of their aunt, their uncle, their grandmother, their their uncle, their grandmother, their their uncle, their grandmother, their grandpa, their mom, their dad. That's grandpa, their mom, their dad. That's grandpa, their mom, their dad. That's not how this works. If you are an not how this works. If you are an not how this works. If you are an individual that is seeking out care for individual that is seeking out care for individual that is seeking out care for yourself, you are the one that's getting yourself, you are the one that's getting yourself, you are the one that's getting on the phone. You're the one asking the on the phone. You're the one asking the on the phone. You're the one asking the questions. You're the one initiating the questions. You're the one initiating the questions. You're the one initiating the research, finding the alignment. Like, research, finding the alignment. Like, research, finding the alignment. Like, we're not accepting a client who is we're not accepting a client who is we're not accepting a client who is trying to be saved by someone else. trying to be saved by someone else. trying to be saved by someone else. And that's not because we're [  ] And that's not because we're [  ] And that's not because we're [  ] It's because if they wanted it, they'd It's because if they wanted it, they'd It's because if they wanted it, they'd be on the phone. If they wanted it, be on the phone. If they wanted it, be on the phone. If they wanted it, they'd be taking the initiative. they'd be taking the initiative. they'd be taking the initiative. So the moral of the story is is that So the moral of the story is is that So the moral of the story is is that providing a lot of support to th those providing a lot of support to th those providing a lot of support to th those that you love around you or even if you that you love around you or even if you that you love around you or even if you are a director, a leader, a manager and are a director, a leader, a manager and are a director, a leader, a manager and you're providing too much support, you you're providing too much support, you you're providing too much support, you are actually compromising the integrity are actually compromising the integrity are actually compromising the integrity of your family, you're compromising the of your family, you're compromising the of your family, you're compromising the integrity of the company. You're integrity of the company. You're integrity of the company. You're compromising the opportunities compromising the opportunities compromising the opportunities for that individual to learn and grow. for that individual to learn and grow. for that individual to learn and grow. Sometimes people are going to learn the Sometimes people are going to learn the Sometimes people are going to learn the most through pain. most through pain. most through pain. That's everyone's choice. Some people That's everyone's choice. Some people That's everyone's choice. Some people like to do it the hard way. They like to like to do it the hard way. They like to like to do it the hard way. They like to learn the hard way because they're tough learn the hard way because they're tough learn the hard way because they're tough and they're stubborn and etc. And then and they're stubborn and etc. And then and they're stubborn and etc. And then some are like they get the the first tap some are like they get the the first tap some are like they get the the first tap on the shoulder. They get the first on the shoulder. They get the first on the shoulder. They get the first feedback and they're like, "Ooh, okay. feedback and they're like, "Ooh, okay. feedback and they're like, "Ooh, okay. Let me do this differently." Let me do this differently." Let me do this differently." And some people get [  ] knocked And some people get [  ] knocked And some people get [  ] knocked upside the head and they're still like, upside the head and they're still like, upside the head and they're still like, "I don't get it. and I'm going to keep "I don't get it. and I'm going to keep "I don't get it. and I'm going to keep doing the same thing. Again, not your doing the same thing. Again, not your doing the same thing. Again, not your journey. But if this is something that journey. But if this is something that journey. But if this is something that you're like, "Oh gosh, I really resonate you're like, "Oh gosh, I really resonate you're like, "Oh gosh, I really resonate with this." You need to relinquish the with this." You need to relinquish the with this." You need to relinquish the fear around fear around fear around one being reject rejected because the one being reject rejected because the one being reject rejected because the rejection is leading you down a rejection is leading you down a rejection is leading you down a different path that is necessary and you different path that is necessary and you different path that is necessary and you need to trust that process. But you also need to trust that process. But you also need to trust that process. But you also need to pay attention. You don't just, need to pay attention. You don't just, need to pay attention. You don't just, oh, the universe is redirecting me. oh, the universe is redirecting me. oh, the universe is redirecting me. Okay. Like you have to okay what why am Okay. Like you have to okay what why am Okay. Like you have to okay what why am I being redirected? Where am I being I being redirected? Where am I being I being redirected? Where am I being redirected? How do I increase my redirected? How do I increase my redirected? How do I increase my awareness to see what opportunities are awareness to see what opportunities are awareness to see what opportunities are presenting themselves? Cuz if you're not presenting themselves? Cuz if you're not presenting themselves? Cuz if you're not aware, you're not paying attention, aware, you're not paying attention, aware, you're not paying attention, you're not present, you're just you're not present, you're just you're not present, you're just distracted and busy, then those distracted and busy, then those distracted and busy, then those opportunities are going to go on by and opportunities are going to go on by and opportunities are going to go on by and you're going to have a cycle of the same you're going to have a cycle of the same you're going to have a cycle of the same [  ] that happens over and over until [  ] that happens over and over until [  ] that happens over and over until you open your eyes and you learn what you open your eyes and you learn what you open your eyes and you learn what you need to learn and you get redirected you need to learn and you get redirected you need to learn and you get redirected to where you're supposed to go. This is to where you're supposed to go. This is to where you're supposed to go. This is when people pay attention and this is when people pay attention and this is when people pay attention and this is something we usually bring to people's something we usually bring to people's something we usually bring to people's awareness is that they have the same awareness is that they have the same awareness is that they have the same cycles happen over and over. They get uh cycles happen over and over. They get uh cycles happen over and over. They get uh if you want to call like getting dumped if you want to call like getting dumped if you want to call like getting dumped or getting divorced, we we could call or getting divorced, we we could call or getting divorced, we we could call that a rejection or we can call it if that a rejection or we can call it if that a rejection or we can call it if you got cheated on or you know you could you got cheated on or you know you could you got cheated on or you know you could call it abandonment, you call it call it abandonment, you call it call it abandonment, you call it betrayal. But there are very often these betrayal. But there are very often these betrayal. But there are very often these specific themes that reoccur and some specific themes that reoccur and some specific themes that reoccur and some people are on a six-month cycle, some people are on a six-month cycle, some people are on a six-month cycle, some people are on a one-year cycle, some people are on a one-year cycle, some people are on a one-year cycle, some people are on a 10-year cycle. And it's people are on a 10-year cycle. And it's people are on a 10-year cycle. And it's only a matter of reflection, only a matter of reflection, only a matter of reflection, observation, asking the right questions observation, asking the right questions observation, asking the right questions where you can see this. And when you see where you can see this. And when you see where you can see this. And when you see it and you go, "Oh my gosh, holy crap, it and you go, "Oh my gosh, holy crap, it and you go, "Oh my gosh, holy crap, you're right. That makes sense. Like I you're right. That makes sense. Like I you're right. That makes sense. Like I have been reliving this." That awareness have been reliving this." That awareness have been reliving this." That awareness then starts the journey to learning and then starts the journey to learning and then starts the journey to learning and understanding why and then being able to understanding why and then being able to understanding why and then being able to surrender to the redirection. surrender to the redirection. surrender to the redirection. But if you're just busy, distracted, But if you're just busy, distracted, But if you're just busy, distracted, dopamine hits social media, who liked dopamine hits social media, who liked dopamine hits social media, who liked me, who didn't, you know, who me, who didn't, you know, who me, who didn't, you know, who unfollowed, who followed, unfollowed, who followed, unfollowed, who followed, you're not going to ever have the you're not going to ever have the you're not going to ever have the opportunity to see anything for what it opportunity to see anything for what it opportunity to see anything for what it is. You will continue to perpetuate your is. You will continue to perpetuate your is. You will continue to perpetuate your cycle of fear and anxiety and you will cycle of fear and anxiety and you will cycle of fear and anxiety and you will need dopamine hits. You will need the need dopamine hits. You will need the need dopamine hits. You will need the greasy [  ] food. You will need the greasy [  ] food. You will need the greasy [  ] food. You will need the wine. You will need the martini. You wine. You will need the martini. You wine. You will need the martini. You will need the social media will need the social media will need the social media gratification. You will need all of that gratification. You will need all of that gratification. You will need all of that because that's the only thing that's because that's the only thing that's because that's the only thing that's giving you these little mini doses of giving you these little mini doses of giving you these little mini doses of endorphins, these doses of, oh, I feel endorphins, these doses of, oh, I feel endorphins, these doses of, oh, I feel good. I feel sufficient. I feel good. I feel sufficient. I feel good. I feel sufficient. I feel relevant. I feel happy. And then it goes relevant. I feel happy. And then it goes relevant. I feel happy. And then it goes away. away. away. I lived it. Like I I I don't say this I lived it. Like I I I don't say this I lived it. Like I I I don't say this because I'm like, "Oh, all all knowing because I'm like, "Oh, all all knowing because I'm like, "Oh, all all knowing and all being. I lived it. I lived it and all being. I lived it. I lived it and all being. I lived it. I lived it for so long. I just didn't know what I for so long. I just didn't know what I for so long. I just didn't know what I didn't know in the moment." And you didn't know in the moment." And you didn't know in the moment." And you know, I think that the journey the know, I think that the journey the know, I think that the journey the journey has been a long journey. But journey has been a long journey. But journey has been a long journey. But one, I kept myself so [  ] busy for one, I kept myself so [  ] busy for one, I kept myself so [  ] busy for so many years. I couldn't see straight so many years. I couldn't see straight so many years. I couldn't see straight or think straight. There meditation that or think straight. There meditation that or think straight. There meditation that was like a laughingtock like, "Oh yeah, was like a laughingtock like, "Oh yeah, was like a laughingtock like, "Oh yeah, I can't sit still for two minutes. I'm I can't sit still for two minutes. I'm I can't sit still for two minutes. I'm bored. Who meditates? Meditation. That's bored. Who meditates? Meditation. That's bored. Who meditates? Meditation. That's crazy. I I literally kept myself so crazy. I I literally kept myself so crazy. I I literally kept myself so distracted and so busy. And dopamine hit distracted and so busy. And dopamine hit distracted and so busy. And dopamine hit after dopamine hit. I didn't care how after dopamine hit. I didn't care how after dopamine hit. I didn't care how much work, how much hustle, how much much work, how much hustle, how much much work, how much hustle, how much sacrifice, how much pain was associated sacrifice, how much pain was associated sacrifice, how much pain was associated with it. I needed those dopamine hits. I with it. I needed those dopamine hits. I with it. I needed those dopamine hits. I needed to feel relevant in this world. I needed to feel relevant in this world. I needed to feel relevant in this world. I needed to feel seen. And this all roots needed to feel seen. And this all roots needed to feel seen. And this all roots back to really [  ] programs that came back to really [  ] programs that came back to really [  ] programs that came from my younger years. And so I lived from my younger years. And so I lived from my younger years. And so I lived that cycle for so long. I had no idea or that cycle for so long. I had no idea or that cycle for so long. I had no idea or concept of the idea that a rejection was concept of the idea that a rejection was concept of the idea that a rejection was a redirection. It was just rejection a redirection. It was just rejection a redirection. It was just rejection felt really bad. I suck. I'm not good at felt really bad. I suck. I'm not good at felt really bad. I suck. I'm not good at what I do. I'm, you know, all of that what I do. I'm, you know, all of that what I do. I'm, you know, all of that negative selft talk. I I didn't see it negative selft talk. I I didn't see it negative selft talk. I I didn't see it for what it was. You know, I had so many for what it was. You know, I had so many for what it was. You know, I had so many crazy things happen over the duration of crazy things happen over the duration of crazy things happen over the duration of my career from, you know, like a large my career from, you know, like a large my career from, you know, like a large group of employees leaving, tainted group of employees leaving, tainted group of employees leaving, tainted culture to getting 16 reviews in the culture to getting 16 reviews in the culture to getting 16 reviews in the matter of 24 hours that were trying to matter of 24 hours that were trying to matter of 24 hours that were trying to destroy my company. And I I wish in destroy my company. And I I wish in destroy my company. And I I wish in those moments that I was like, whoa, you those moments that I was like, whoa, you those moments that I was like, whoa, you are off track. You are so off track. You are off track. You are so off track. You are off track. You are so off track. You are so out of alignment with what you're are so out of alignment with what you're are so out of alignment with what you're supposed to be doing that the universe supposed to be doing that the universe supposed to be doing that the universe is punching you directly in the face is punching you directly in the face is punching you directly in the face with these extremes to redirect you. Pay with these extremes to redirect you. Pay with these extremes to redirect you. Pay the [  ] attention, Nicole. Pay the [  ] attention, Nicole. Pay the [  ] attention, Nicole. Pay attention. attention. attention. I didn't have that level of awareness. I I didn't have that level of awareness. I I didn't have that level of awareness. I didn't even have the time to think it didn't even have the time to think it didn't even have the time to think it through. So, I just felt like [  ] and through. So, I just felt like [  ] and through. So, I just felt like [  ] and got really sad and upset and got really sad and upset and got really sad and upset and powered through. And I realized that was powered through. And I realized that was powered through. And I realized that was to my biggest detriment because the same to my biggest detriment because the same to my biggest detriment because the same kind of crap happened, you know, over kind of crap happened, you know, over kind of crap happened, you know, over and over and over again until I finally and over and over again until I finally and over and over again until I finally and I I want to say that I was like, and I I want to say that I was like, and I I want to say that I was like, "Oh, I see the light, you know, "Oh, I see the light, you know, "Oh, I see the light, you know, rejection to redirection, but I gave I rejection to redirection, but I gave I rejection to redirection, but I gave I gave up. I was so exhausted. I was so gave up. I was so exhausted. I was so gave up. I was so exhausted. I was so tired. I was so beaten down. This is why tired. I was so beaten down. This is why tired. I was so beaten down. This is why there is an epidemic of burnout." And I there is an epidemic of burnout." And I there is an epidemic of burnout." And I just like I threw in the towel and that just like I threw in the towel and that just like I threw in the towel and that caused me to slow down. And then slowing caused me to slow down. And then slowing caused me to slow down. And then slowing down comes with the flood of thoughts of down comes with the flood of thoughts of down comes with the flood of thoughts of replaying why did this happen? How did replaying why did this happen? How did replaying why did this happen? How did this happen? And I had to get mentorship this happen? And I had to get mentorship this happen? And I had to get mentorship and that mentor and that person that and that mentor and that person that and that mentor and that person that helped me see things that I couldn't helped me see things that I couldn't helped me see things that I couldn't see, helped me understand principles see, helped me understand principles see, helped me understand principles that I couldn't understand. And that is that I couldn't understand. And that is that I couldn't understand. And that is what allowed me to be free of this. It what allowed me to be free of this. It what allowed me to be free of this. It allowed me to not be needed anymore. It allowed me to not be needed anymore. It allowed me to not be needed anymore. It allowed me to understand what is allowed me to understand what is allowed me to understand what is meditation, what is the purpose of it. meditation, what is the purpose of it. meditation, what is the purpose of it. You know, I think that meditation is You know, I think that meditation is You know, I think that meditation is different for every single person. But different for every single person. But different for every single person. But it's the time where I can reflect on it's the time where I can reflect on it's the time where I can reflect on things that feel confusing. I can sit things that feel confusing. I can sit things that feel confusing. I can sit with something long enough to with something long enough to with something long enough to essentially be guided like yes, no. Is essentially be guided like yes, no. Is essentially be guided like yes, no. Is this out of inspiration or is this a this out of inspiration or is this a this out of inspiration or is this a decision out of desperation? You know, decision out of desperation? You know, decision out of desperation? You know, is this really going to serve me? Is it is this really going to serve me? Is it is this really going to serve me? Is it going to serve me now or is it going to going to serve me now or is it going to going to serve me now or is it going to serve the long-term vision? You know it serve the long-term vision? You know it serve the long-term vision? You know it a lot of times we don't give ourselves a lot of times we don't give ourselves a lot of times we don't give ourselves the time or the grace to process really the time or the grace to process really the time or the grace to process really important questions that dictate our important questions that dictate our important questions that dictate our lives and you know people are like you lives and you know people are like you lives and you know people are like you moved to Italy I would love to do that I moved to Italy I would love to do that I moved to Italy I would love to do that I can't do that and I can never do that can't do that and I can never do that can't do that and I can never do that and it's like you can do whatever you and it's like you can do whatever you and it's like you can do whatever you want but you have to have the utmost want but you have to have the utmost want but you have to have the utmost clarity and you also have to know that clarity and you also have to know that clarity and you also have to know that it's an aligned decision being made out it's an aligned decision being made out it's an aligned decision being made out of inspiration and not desperation. of inspiration and not desperation. of inspiration and not desperation. I made many decisions out of desperation I made many decisions out of desperation I made many decisions out of desperation to save my business, to, you know, make to save my business, to, you know, make to save my business, to, you know, make money, to do all of these things. And I money, to do all of these things. And I money, to do all of these things. And I will tell you, they will kick you in the will tell you, they will kick you in the will tell you, they will kick you in the ass every single time. And they might be ass every single time. And they might be ass every single time. And they might be a little kick in the ass. They might be a little kick in the ass. They might be a little kick in the ass. They might be a [  ] grenade explosion. a [  ] grenade explosion. a [  ] grenade explosion. But I now know again that was a But I now know again that was a But I now know again that was a redirection to say, "You're going the redirection to say, "You're going the redirection to say, "You're going the wrong way. Stop doing the same [  ] do wrong way. Stop doing the same [  ] do wrong way. Stop doing the same [  ] do something that serves you, your vision, something that serves you, your vision, something that serves you, your vision, your values more. And your values more. And your values more. And that is really what I'm here to share that is really what I'm here to share that is really what I'm here to share with you. And so I hope you are able to with you. And so I hope you are able to with you. And so I hope you are able to take some inventory on, holy crap, am I take some inventory on, holy crap, am I take some inventory on, holy crap, am I so busy and so distracted? Am I spending so busy and so distracted? Am I spending so busy and so distracted? Am I spending any time asking myself quality questions any time asking myself quality questions any time asking myself quality questions so I can make quality decisions in my so I can make quality decisions in my so I can make quality decisions in my life? Am I anxious because I'm not life? Am I anxious because I'm not life? Am I anxious because I'm not seeing a re I'm not understanding that a seeing a re I'm not understanding that a seeing a re I'm not understanding that a rejection is a redirection? rejection is a redirection? rejection is a redirection? And am I making most decisions out of And am I making most decisions out of And am I making most decisions out of desperation? What I need to, I have to, desperation? What I need to, I have to, desperation? What I need to, I have to, I should, versus out of inspiration, I I should, versus out of inspiration, I I should, versus out of inspiration, I want to, I get to. want to, I get to. want to, I get to. If you start to reframe stressful If you start to reframe stressful If you start to reframe stressful moments in your life and ask those moments in your life and ask those moments in your life and ask those questions, questions, questions, you will start to have you will start to have you will start to have the alignment the alignment the alignment and the inspiration to make better and the inspiration to make better and the inspiration to make better decisions, more bold decisions that are decisions, more bold decisions that are decisions, more bold decisions that are going to serve you and serve your going to serve you and serve your going to serve you and serve your family. So, I'm going to leave you guys family. So, I'm going to leave you guys family. So, I'm going to leave you guys with that. with that. with that. [Music] [Music] [Music] [Applause] [Applause] [Applause] [Music]