Do You Feel Like Personal Development Isn’t Working?
Episode 260
In this episode of Integrative You Radio, Dr. Nicole and Dr. Nick dive deep into the frustrations many face when personal development efforts seem to plateau. They unpack the concept that true growth requires strengthening your "vessel"—a holistic integration of mind, body, and energy. The discussion highlights how focusing on one area in isolation limits potential and why aligning foundational aspects like health, environment, and mindset is critical to unlocking limitless potential. They also explore the importance of unlearning societal programming, asking better questions, and leveraging strategic personal development to create a life aligned with your values and vision. This episode is packed with actionable insights to help you break through stagnation and achieve a more integrated, fulfilling life. #PersonalDevelopment #MindBodyEnergy #IntegrativeHealing #GrowthMindset #Unlearning #HolisticHealth #SelfMastery #LimitlessPotential #AlignWithValues #IntegrativeYouRadio 3 Key Takeaways: The Strength of the Vessel: Your ability to express your true inner power is limited by the strength of your vessel—mind, body, and energy. Growth requires an integrative approach, not isolated focus. Strategic Alignment: Plateaus in personal development often signal misaligned foundational aspects. Addressing these areas strategically can unlock new levels of growth and clarity. Unlearning to Grow: Personal development isn’t just about adding tools—it’s about unlearning limiting beliefs and societal programming that hold you back. True progress comes from alignment with your authentic self. Quotes: " You can only express power based on the strength of the vessel ." – Dr. Nick " Personal development is about learning, but it’s also about unlearning the programs that have kept you stuck. " – Dr. Nicole Find Integrative You Radio On: Website Youtube Apple Spotify 2 Doctors Committed to Innovating the Healthcare Experience. Integrative You Radio is hosted by husband-and-wife duo, Dr.
Topics: development, personal, integrative, growth, energy, unknown, nick, vessel
Key takeaways from this episode
- ## Do You Feel Like Personal Development Isn’t Working?
- The Strength of the Vessel:** Your capacity for growth is directly tied to the strength of your mind, body, and energy. Integrative approaches are crucial for maximizing potential.
- Strategic Alignment:** Stagnation in personal development often points to misaligned foundational elements. Addressing these areas strategically can lead to breakthrough clarity and growth.
- Unlearning for Growth:** Genuine personal development involves not only acquiring new knowledge but also shedding limiting beliefs and societal conditioning that hinder progress.
- The limitations of isolated personal development efforts
Pull quotes
This is the place where you become limitless. **Unknown:** We are covering the latest and greatest topics, of course, in a disruptive fashion, around integrative medicine, mental health, and human behavior.
We will be sprinkling in some truth bombs for our healthpreneurs so they can join us in our mission to evolve healthcare.
If you are health curious and growth focused, you are in the right place, but buckle up, because this is real, this is raw, and this is disruptive. **Unknown:** This is Integrative U Radio.
Transcript
**Unknown:** Welcome to Integrative U Radio, hosted by Dr. Nick Carruthers and yours truly, Dr. Nicole Rivera. This is the place where you become limitless.
**Unknown:** We are covering the latest and greatest topics, of course, in a disruptive fashion, around integrative medicine, mental health, and human behavior. We are also covering how those topics affect the human and family dynamics. We will be sprinkling in some truth bombs for our healthpreneurs so they can join us in our mission to evolve healthcare. If you are health curious and growth focused, you are in the right place, but buckle up, because this is real, this is raw, and this is disruptive.
**Unknown:** This is Integrative U Radio. Hey, everyone. Welcome back to another episode of Integrative U Radio. If you're here with us on YouTube, you can see that you are graced with Dr.
**Unknown:** Nick's presence. It is, uh, it's the first time in a while that we finally are settled and have childcare since our move to Italy, so, uh, so you're gonna see a lot more of him. Hear a lot more of him. Woo-hoo.
**Unknown:** Maybe both, maybe both. So this topic that we're covering today is actually wa- was actually, um, because of something that Dr. Nick said, and I was like, "Ooh, good one. Gonna write that down." And we were primarily talking about the idea that doing anything in isolation, people can get discouraged.
**Unknown:** People can feel like they're hitting a plateau, they're maybe not seeing results at all, and they essentially get discouraged and either take a pause or just fully throw in the towel. We've obviously seen this many, many times over when it comes to health. You know, people not having the right data, not having the right strategy, and feeling like they're doing a lot of things, they're spending a lot of time, they're spending a lot of energy, and they're spending a lot of money, and they're not necessarily seeing the results or the outcomes that they hoped for. But in reality, there are a lot of people having a very similar experience in the personal development world, and even the business development world.
**Unknown:** You know, I think nowadays, especially if you're an avid listener to our podcast, you know, you, you've probably heard of, of Dr. Demartini, who's doing a lot of human behavior work and y- and personal development through understanding your values. You maybe have heard of Dr. Joe Dispenza, and maybe you started to get into meditation or yoga and breathing practices.
**Unknown:** So there's a lot of different things out there, and what we always say, it's not about what you do, but it's about how you do it. And even to take that a step further, it's about when you do it. And so we were talking about this idea of doing personal development, and for some people, not necessarily... One, feeling like it's really difficult, or not necessarily seeing outcomes and feeling very frustrated with it.
**Unknown:** And Dr. Nick, I will let you share your, your quote that just literally rolled off the tongue as we were, you know, in the kitchen having this conversation, and for me, it was just like a huge, like, holy shit aha moment. Well, I forget exactly how I said it. It was probably better in the moment.
**Unknown:** But I was pretty much stating that y- the... Our expression can only reach capacity due to the strength of the vessel, and we're the vessel. So it's like a lot of people, as you're saying, we focus on isolation of, you know, I wanna make the body, physical body stronger or, um, more flexible, or I wanna just focus on detoxing all the toxins and infections out of the body, or I just wanna focus on, you know, increasing the mental capacity and awareness, or I'm just gonna focus on the energetic aspe- aspect and meditation. And each one of those are...
**Unknown:** They're great, but they're limited by its individuality, hence, you know, isolation versus being integrative. But it's also, you're gonna be, you're gonna have a cap to the mental, to the physical, to the energetic based on your vessel. So energy flows bidirectional, and you have to focus on, on, on both sides of that container. Yeah.
**Unknown:** Well, the exact way you said it is you can only express power based on the strength of the vessel. And I know that for, like, where my mind was at in that moment, you know, we were talking a little bit about what lights me up, and I said, "You know, I love helping people find, like, their inner badass, their inner powerhouse," um, and finding that so that all of their limitations and their limiting beliefs fall to the side or, or they're, they're less likely to hold them back because they're so inspired in that moment. And I think that's actually what really probed the statement is like, well, you can only express so much power based on the strength of the vessel. And I was like...
**Unknown:** And I, and I think for me, I had all these flashbacks of, for myself, and then of course I always have the flashbacks of clients, and thinking about when my body wasn't strong, which meantThat wasn't just about the physicality, but it was also... I wasn't neurologically strong. I wasn't chemically strong. So how that all ties together is I wasn't...
**Unknown:** My body wasn't in a great place, so my serotonin wasn't in a great place. My stress hormones weren't in a great place. My dopamine wasn't in a great place. And so there was only so much I could accomplish when it came to the type of personal development that I was doing at that time.
**Unknown:** Because for those of you that know us, you know, for me, being the CEO of the company, a lot of it was about how could I be a better leader, and how could I run a better business, because that was a pain point for a long period of time. And there was, there was progress, plateau, progress, plateau, progress, plateau. And now, because we've made such a significant life change and, you know, it's not that... Like, I have all the tools.
**Unknown:** Like, I've done the detoxes, I've done the supplements, I've done the therapies. I have amp coils, I have red lights, I have all those things, but it was changing my environment and decreasing my stress load by changing my environment, and also being in a place, Italy, that resonates more with me and who I am and my values. That was a huge catalyst to strengthening my vessel, which has actually melted away a lot of the things that were holding me back in my personal development, in my meditation practice, in my, you know, um, neurological development. Well, I mean, you th- I always look at things bidirectionally.
**Unknown:** And so you just stated usually the opposite of how I look at things. Um- By the way, I'm totally, like... I was laughing before. For those of you on YouTube watching my face before, I'm like, he put on his glasses, and it was, like, full Clark Kent.
**Unknown:** Like, it was just, like, totally- They're my superhero glasses. Yeah, yeah ... literally. So I'm kind of checking- Nope.
**Unknown:** I'm just back all to being Nick ... Yeah. Now it's like- Oops, glasses on ... full-blown, like, Clark Kent status.
**Unknown:** Anyway, continue. So yeah. I mean, you can do, um, quote-unquote, "one thing" to change... So when you say vessel, I look at it as we have all these different vessels.
**Unknown:** We have the physical vessel, which is, you know, the muscle skeletal, the nervous system, the biochemical aspect, the hormones, all that's physical stuff. We have the mental vessel, which, like you talked about Demartini being one... what I believe after studying a lot of different people and techniques, the master, um, at the mental vessel. You have the meditation, uh, aspect of the energetic vessel.
**Unknown:** You have all these different vessels, and most people just focus on one at a time, and that limits them. But you were talking about making a change, hi, Mr. Wooks, about making a change that affected all those vessels. So, you know, you coming to Italy, you changing your environment, but that's like Bruce Lipton's work, is the environment is actually dictating the expression of the cell, of the DNA.
**Unknown:** You know, you look at Einstein. When you look at physics, he always talked about how it's everything around that dictates the expression of the particle. We're that particle. So if you can, uh, get crystal clear what's gonna be most congruent to serving your top values, and if that's changing your environment, that's gonna change the vessel because we are the vessel.
**Unknown:** The vessel is the particle. So you can look at it that way, and then you can also break down the how that gave you more space to be able to meditate, that gave you less stress that's being processed through the nervous system. So it's pretty beautiful how you can take a macro expec- a macro perspective to be able to strengthen the vessel, but you can also break it down and look at all the micro aspects to change it as well. Yeah.
**Unknown:** Well, and I think that one of the other points that we want to drive home here is the fact that, yes, everything is, is integrative when it comes to your mind, your energy, your physicality, your, your chemistry. And it's not to lose hope or, or be disappointed or discouraged when you're not seeing the, the progress that you hoped for. It's just that you might have your focus on the wrong thing at the wrong time. Because working on your own personal development is never a bad thing, but if your physical health is one of the things that's more foundational...
**Unknown:** And let me be really, really clear here, is that if you go to Dispenza, Joe Dispenza, they're gonna say that the mind and the energy i- that has to change in order to change your physical body. And yes, in certain situations and in certain people, that is 100% true. And then there are some others that their body, their health, it- it's so weak, and neurologically things are not firing and connecting, that that might be more foundational in order to then do the personal development, the meditative, the energetic work. So no one is wrong.
**Unknown:** It's just nothing is that black and white. There's no- I would say- Go ahead ... y- you need to start out with your strengths, um, 'cause that's where you're gonna get the most results. So if somebody's, you know, mentally strong, well, let's use that strength to help actually change the body, and that's, you know, in Dispenza's case, and his body was weak.
**Unknown:** He was laying in a hospital bed. He couldn't do anything. So he had to use that. He was forced to use thatIs that the only way?
**Unknown:** No, because you can do body movement, and that's gonna activate proprioception, meaning that the body is awareness in space, and that's one of the best nutrients for the nervous system. And by the nervous system, as that gets more clear and stronger, you're able to transition that power over to the mind. And energy flows where attention goes, so that's also gonna start increasing the energetic pathways in the meridians. So everything is interconnected, but, you know, we get...
**Unknown:** quote-unquote, "People get discouraged and people get stuck based on trying to beat a dead horse." You know, like do the same thing over and over, that's insanity. But like let's, let's get creative and try to find the path of least resistance, and that's where we're able to make the best amount... the best, uh, efficient change. But I also think that it goes back to the idea that we are always seeking outside of ourselves, and we're looking for answers or a road map from external sources.
**Unknown:** So when we hear about these amazing case studies and stories that are associated with breathwork or associated with Demartini's method or associated with the meditation of Joe Dispenza, we say, "I need... I want that outcome, so I should do that." But then we're starting to do it, and it's like it either doesn't resonate, it feels like a task, it feels like a chore, it feels really hard, and we're not taking that as feedback to say, "Let me take a step back here, and let me tap into what I need." And, and part of this is this concept of inner reflection, you know, leaning into what aligns for you, leaning into intuitively what you need, a lot of us don't know... like don't have this capability anymore because society and programming has ripped it away from us. It's...
**Unknown:** It, it honestly takes a bit of a, of a practice nowadays in order to ask yourself, either out loud or in your head, like, "What do I need?" You know? "What, what is good for me in this moment?" And, and that's kind of what I love about what we do. You do. I'm more of the, you know, the, the analytical, um, logical part of this, but for you, the, the skill set that- I'm illogical.
**Unknown:** Shut up. The skill set that you have and, and the technique that you created, the integrative response testing, you know, you're able to help guide where the person is at by looking at all of these buckets, looking at the, you know, the physical, the biochemical, the energetic, the spiritual, the mental, the emotional, and, and create that road map for that person. And the more that we compound that and help them understand themselves, that's how they start to regain that ability. So I think that that's a really cool thing that it's almost impossible to put this on a website for anyone to understand.
**Unknown:** Mm-hmm. You know? Yeah. And like that's one of the...
**Unknown:** Go ahead. I was gonna say it's like... Just jumping back, you know, personal development, it's a journey, and it's not to get down on yourself because the, the only failure in life is to stop trying. You know, everything else is just a feedback mechanism.
**Unknown:** So whether you're not getting results, whether your results are pain, whether, you know, you're stuck, it's all just a feedback mechanism showing you that, hey, you might've just gotten results and then tapped this out, so now we need to increase the awareness. We need to, to look beyond what we have been doing. But that's the beautiful aspect of, you know, the integrated response testing, is that we're already evaluating all those different possibilities and options and seeing... putting them, you know, not as one...
**Unknown:** You know, this is... You have to deprogram ourselves 'cause in society we're taught that, you know, if there's an issue, well, let's just take a pill to solve it. Yeah. Meaning if there's one problem, there's one thing to fix it, but that's, that's not how...
**Unknown:** that's not how the laws of universe. You know, the law is one of the many. So every once in a while you'll have that home run where it's, you know, a one-to-one ratio, and it just collapses and all is beautiful, but that's 1% of the time. So 99% of the time it's that one to the many, and we gotta figure out, okay, so what's the many things that I need to do to be able to create this one change that I really want?
**Unknown:** And part of that's, you know, getting a clear vision of where you'd wanna direct your life because, you know, we could see something from Dispenza or something online that's like, "Oh my God, this is awesome. I'm gonna, I'm gonna do this." Yeah. And, and then you realize that that was motivation, which is external, which was connected to what somebody else, um, was really gonna benefit the most from, which is why they benefited from it, and that's actually not in alignment with who we are authentically, s- which is why we're not getting results. So, so there's so many different aspects to it, but when we can gather all of that data and information, then we actually have the best amount of awareness to make the best decisions to actually achieve the results that are in alignment with the individual.
**Unknown:** 100%, and I, I think something you said... I... Just kind of a different way of, of, of saying it is that personal development is about learning, but it's about unlearning. And, you know, you called it the, the deprogramming, and I, I, I think that's a really, really important point for people to understand because this isn't just about adding more and more tools to the toolbox like meditation, like breathwork, you know, um, affirmations, whatever it is, but this is also about unlearning certain programs that have kept you stuck or kept you in fear- And unlearning is-A very difficult- Harder.
**Unknown:** ... trait to, to own. You know, it's like if you look at society right now, there's so much division and people are saying, you know, "This is right, this is wrong," on every landscape of the financial to the politics to et cetera, to how to raise a family. You know, everybody has their voice of, "This is right, this is wrong," and it's, it's really you have to deprogram that, that what's, what's right and wrong is gonna be different from person to person, and that's, that goes all...
**Unknown:** on every aspect of personal development. Yeah, and that's definitely a topic that we wanna dive deeper into is, i- is talking more about that because it is really important. And I think that's a really cool thing that you bring to the bio integration technique that you do is that, you know, you can map the vision and you can map the goals, but if you don't unlearn the things that are keeping you stuck, you're... there's only, only so far you can go.
**Unknown:** I always give the analogy of, you know, personal developments, you have one foot on the brake and one foot on the gas, and most people put all their energy on moving themselves forward, but they still have their foot on the brake, so they're, they're really not going anywhere. Where all you had to do is just remove your foot off the brake and poof, you're, you're already levels ahead. Yeah, it's interesting because the analogy that I gave to a client recently is, you know, she was like, "I really just wanna focus on my vision." And I said to her, I was like, "Okay, that's amazing, but the image that I have of you is you looking forward at your vision, you know, big smile on your face, very excited. But if we look behind you, you have a series of chains holding you back." And I was like, "The, the work that I do is helping you to move forward, but the work that Dr.
**Unknown:** Nick does is to break the chains behind you that potentially will limit your ability to move forward." And she's like, "Oh, okay. That makes sense," you know, for, for why both of these aspects are really important. Because, of course, it feels good to work on the vision. It feels good to have this image of what life will look like when life is, quote-unquote, better.
**Unknown:** And working on the past shit that is potentially painful holding us back, you know, d- is not as fun, but it's, it- it's necessary, and there's a very, very strategic and methodical way to go about it that it's actually going to help. You know, there's a lot of tech- You said it's not fun because that's, that's not what you like to do the most. Well, it's not what I like to do, no. But, but for me- I'm just saying from a superficial perspective ...
**Unknown:** but I'm, but I'm saying, but, but for me, that is what's most fun. It's- Yeah ... that's why we're a great team because we- we're the wholeness together. Yeah.
**Unknown:** But for me, like, I'm not great at the vision, which is I need you for that aspect. Mm-hmm. And you need me for to get the foot off the brakes, and I need you to put the foot on the gas. So it's like what's awesome about us is our clients get, get both sides of it, um, to be able to allow them to progress in that, you know, whether it's...
**Unknown:** it's all health, everything is just a feedback for personal development, honestly. 100%. All right, guys, so let's wrap this up for you. So the biggest thing that we're talking about here is that personal development is amazing, but strat- bringing strategy to your personal development is key.
**Unknown:** Because personal development to plateau is a very common theme that we're seeing, and part of it is because people are not able to fully express their true inner potential or their inner power because there is a lack of strength in the vessel. Essentially, what we're saying is that the strength might be that you have very poor health. It might be that you have a very poor functioning energetic system. It might be that, you know, your physical body is broken down too much.
**Unknown:** It might be that your financial world is broken down. It might be that your business is killing you. It could be any of those things. So it's a matter for you to potentially sit down, sit with yourself, and ask yourself better questions.
**Unknown:** If you can't do that, it's seeking out someone who can ask you better c- questions and gather better unbiased, unemotional data to say, "Hey, the reason why you're not moving the needle forward when it comes to your personal development is because this foundational piece is, is, is weak." It's, it needs to be addressed because you are an integrated human. You are an integrated being. This is not just about health. This is not just about your mental, emotional state.
**Unknown:** This is not just about money. This is not just about one thing. At the end of the day, all of those things come together to allow us to live and function, and also for us to feel whole. You know?
**Unknown:** We could be, like, contributing and have a nonprofit and be doing amazing work in the world, but if you're broke as shit and can barely, you know, afford groceries, like, that doesn't feel good. What felt really good about your world contribution starts to not feel good. You start to be resentful. I know people have experienced that.
**Unknown:** You know, it's like, "Oh, I feel really good mentally, emotionally. I overcame that divorce. I overcame that really hard thing, but I'm still so sick, and my gut is, is a mess, and I have to think about taking a drive because I constantly have to go to the bathroom." Like, you know, we have to really be clear on what, what a, a quality life looks like for us, and we should never settle for anything less. I think that's a really sad part about society right now is that we're settling.We've been settling for a really long time, but I think that we're normalizing and settling, or some people are just calling it n- normal, and at the end of the day, what they're really doing is settling.
**Unknown:** And so for us, I, I think part of our mission is to help people not settle, and for people to make bold decisions in their life that are fully aligned, that are gonna yield the outcomes that they really want, which is have a good life and feel happy. Joyous- Yeah ... doesn't like that word happy. It's not that I don't like happiness, it just attracts sadness.
**Unknown:** The, the last, I guess, thing, you know, I wanna put in is, and this was something that I've, I knew, but going through life, um, the clinical outcomes, uh, personally r- really owned it, is you, you have to have a mentor or coach or somebody that's ahead of you. Um, because it- even myself, it's like I have all these tools, but if I don't have the awareness of what's holding me back, I can't work on it. So you have to be guided by somebody that has more awareness than you, 'cause that's all this game is, is it's a, it's an awareness game. And when you have the awareness, then you can actually ask the correct questions, take action on those answers, and you'll get the results how you really wanna live, how you really wanna be.
**Unknown:** But without the awareness, w- we're, we're just fucked. Um, so you have to, you have to find somebody that resonates with you that is, you know, has a greater level of awareness than you. And, you know, it could be... Uh, it's always kind of one of my games is, okay, how can I, how can I beat my mentor?
**Unknown:** How can I up level, uh, to the point where I don't need them anymore and I'm searching for somebody new? Um, 'cause that's always the growth transition, unless, you know, your mentor is just as hungry as you and they're constantly growing, um, so you guys can grow together. It's funny because I just did a podcast yesterday solo talking about that topic, and I just said, you know, you hit a point in time where you've exhausted your knowledge, your tools, and your skillset for that part of life, and you seek out someone who has the wisdom, the knowl- more, or, uh, more advanced knowledge, tools, and skillset about that bucket of life, and they've also, because it's, it's important for both, they could be really smart, but they should have also achieved the outcomes or similar outcomes that you're looking to achieve. Yeah, 100%.
**Unknown:** And that's how you can surpass because, you know, we are experts in health, but we've been working with mentors to become experts and masters of the other buckets of our life, from, you know, parenting and family to finances- Financial, sure ... and et cetera. So, you know, you, you work with your strengths, as you said, and then you leverage other people in order to help you gain the wisdom, knowledge, and mastery of these other areas of life. You don't get to the mountaintop by yourself.
**Unknown:** Exactly. All right, guys, we hope you enjoyed it. Leave us a comment, uh, request for another topic. You know, this is our jam and we love it, but we'll see you on the next podcast.
**Unknown:** We thank you so much for being an avid listener of Integrative U Radio, formerly known as Integrative Wellness Radio. We appreciate all of your support. We love your comments. Please visit us on social media as well as our website to see all of the fun things happening behind the scenes and the new amazing content and courses that is being rolled out on a monthly basis.
**Unknown:** We hope to see you there.
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About Integrative You Radio
Integrative You Radio is a root cause medicine and integrative medicine podcast hosted by Dr. Nicole Rivera and Dr. Nick Carruthers — two integrative doctors who build personalized wellness protocols from your DNA, minerals, hormones, gut, and nervous system rather than from a population template. Looking for an integrative doctor who reads your labs together instead of in isolation? This is the show.
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