Overcoming Anxiety & Depression using the Demartini Method

Episode 132

Previously launched as a webinar! This week on Integrative Wellness Radio, we are sharing a very special webinar recorded earlier this year. Dr. Nick is joined by former IWG Client Services Director, Valeria LaBarbera as they discuss how to overcome anxiety and depression using the Demartini Method. For the first twenty minutes, Dr. Nick geeks out and gets deep into the science of the method. Then the pair share personal stories, discuss the causes of anxiety and depression, and debunk common myths around it. Dr. Nick also weaves in the tools needed to utilize the method in daily life and breaks down the quality questions you can start asking to overcome anxiety and depression. Interested in working with IWG? Book a complimentary consult call to learn more using this link: https://bit.ly/IWRcall2021 Noteworthy Time Stamps: 0:45 Anxiety and depression are generalized in our society 2:01 The science behind anxiety and depression 3:55 What is the Demartini Method 6:44 How the Demartini Method differs from a traditional approach 10:20 Why and how we view the world based on our values 15:50 Evaluating situations where you feel anxious 22:00 It’s impossible to have “control” over your emotions 23:16 The 3 things you can control 26:23 Myths about anxiety and depression 25:37 Val’s personal story about anxiety and depression 30:30 Dr. Nick’s story with anxiety and depression 34:50 How anxiety and depression are related 39:27 How the anxieties of other people can impact you 43:35 The difference between a fixed mindset and a growth mindset 49:35 Neutralizing anxiety and depression 58:36 Linking is how we change our perceptions 59:19 Top 3 takeaways 1:04:40 Demartini success story 1:11:17 Q&A from the audience

Topics: anxiety, depression, unknown, method, demartini, nick, mindset, always

Key takeaways from this episode

This, uh, topic of, you know, anxiety and depression, it's not always a popular topic. **Unknown:** It's a widespread topic, but not always popular.
Nick and Dr. **Unknown:** Nicole to learn more about the top trends in integrative medicine, to learn about what the limitations are with testing, and what you can do to start your health journey.
So I think it's speaking to some of the real detail behind anxiety and depression and bringing that to light because I, I'm sure we all experience it every day.
Uh, so when we put a label on it, it's kind of like that all or nothing. **Unknown:** Um, but it's really also a label doesn't dictate all the different types, quote, unquote, that anxiety can form from.
Yeah. **Unknown:** You're the person to really bring that to light for me, the science behind it.

Pull quotes

Imagine if medicine actually looked at you as a whole opposed to looking at you as a bunch of separate systems.

Nick and Dr. **Unknown:** Nicole to learn more about the top trends in integrative medicine, to learn about what the limitations are with testing, and what you can do to start your health journey.

This, uh, topic of, you know, anxiety and depression, it's not always a popular topic. **Unknown:** It's a widespread topic, but not always popular.

Transcript

**Unknown:** I've been up all night, no sleep. Imagine if medicine actually looked at you as a whole opposed to looking at you as a bunch of separate systems. Dive into Integrative Wellness Radio with Dr. Nick and Dr.

**Unknown:** Nicole to learn more about the top trends in integrative medicine, to learn about what the limitations are with testing, and what you can do to start your health journey. Feel like I'm always dreaming. Sometimes I tend to lose myself when I'm out here on my own. Hello, everybody.

**Unknown:** How we doing, Valerie? I'm doing good, Nick. How are you? Doing well.

**Unknown:** This is exciting. I think this is gonna be a very beneficial topic to discuss, so. What are you most excited about, uh, tonight? This, uh, topic of, you know, anxiety and depression, it's not always a popular topic.

**Unknown:** It's a widespread topic, but not always popular. Excited, and we touched on this before, but I actually just thought of a new detail about that, and I think you hit the nail on the head with it's a widespread topic, but sometimes it can be a little vague and general. So I think it's speaking to some of the real detail behind anxiety and depression and bringing that to light because I, I'm sure we all experience it every day. Someone's like, "Oh, I have anxiety right now," or, "This is making me anxious." And, um, I know there are people who deal with it on very, you know, massive levels.

**Unknown:** Mm-hmm. And being able to speak to the different ends of the spectrum and providing more detail to that, I think that's gonna be exciting, too. Yeah, and that's, that's one of the most beautiful actually things is that, you know, we label things. Uh, so when we put a label on it, it's kind of like that all or nothing.

**Unknown:** Um, but it's really also a label doesn't dictate all the different types, quote, unquote, that anxiety can form from. So there's not really different types of anxiety, uh, there's just different forms of it, uh, when we look at it. But we'll get deeper into that as we go, um, 'cause that's the science which I love the most about, uh, when it comes to mental, emotional health. Yeah.

**Unknown:** You're the person to really bring that to light for me, the science behind it. Um, also the, you know, energetic, but the chemical side to it and just realizing that it's not just one part to it, that there's just so many facets to it. Oh, yeah. So- And, uh, and tonight, I mean, really I don't want this to not come across correctly, but tonight it's just all focused on the mental and emotional aspect.

**Unknown:** When it comes to anxiety and depression, yeah, we can have, uh, biochemical markers off that can be connected to creating that. So it's not always, quote, unquote, when they say it's in your head, um, it might not always be a mental, emotional driver. Um, as we look through the body has five major bodies. We have the physical body, the chemical body, the energetic body, the emotional body, and then we have the spiritual body.

**Unknown:** So it's really about looking at all the different bodies and everything that makes those systems up, um, to see what could really be different. You know, the causation or even maybe there's multiple systems that's working together to cause you your symptoms. Um, so as we go through, definitely, I mean, I think the mental, emotional part is not only a major aspect of health, uh, care that's been dropped in the ball for years, um, not giving really the proper tools to be able to be empowered, in charge of thyself. Um, but it's also, you know, working every single day with clients, whether it's neurological issues, biochemical issues, energetic issues, um, through more of our meridian system.

**Unknown:** Uh, really all of those things can be distressed from an imbalanced mind as well. Yeah. Uh, so really it's, uh, overcoming anxiety and depression is the perfect title, uh, because as you overcome that, uh, you're really just getting your life back. I love it.

**Unknown:** Well, let's get started. Do it. So this is myself, uh, Dr. Nick Carruthers.

**Unknown:** I am co-hosting tonight with the beautiful Val. What is the Demartini Method? The Demartini Method, when you think about it, it's, it, in its most simplistic form, it's just a set of questions. Um, but it's a set of very quality questions to really bring our awareness from, uh, which might be what I call polarized, so seeing more of just one-sidedness, uh, so all of good or all of bad instead of seeing all of the in between, uh, which gives us, and when we talk about science, gives us more data points.

**Unknown:** Uh, so when we can actually see more, have more information to make a better quality decision on, uh, then we can have the highest opportunity to be able to serve ourselves to the greatest potential, and that's really what the Demartini Method is. It's a set of questions to lead us to having that opportunity to serve ourselves to that highest degree possible. As I said, um, really one of my favorite quotes in life is, "The quality of your life is dictated by the quality of the questions that you ask yourself." Um, so really, uh, that is the foundation of, um, Dr. Demartini has put the past 40, I don't know how many years, uh, it's a shit ton of years, uh, more than 40 years of his life has really, with the main focus of just getting this method more and more and more specific, um, but also growing it to be able to, uh, pretty much have it as well-rounded as possible.

**Unknown:** Um, because when we're dealing with reality, there's so many different layers. Like I said, like we can have so many different layers of our own body that can be creating anxiety and depression. Uh, there's so many aspects of our environment around us, uh, that we need to be able to look at. So we have to have a well-rounded, um, plethora of questions to be able to ask so that we can change that awareness and that relationship, uh, with what we're, uh, kind of being controlled by.

**Unknown:** So unfortunately, society has never taught us how to really create these quality questions to be able to serve ourselves. Um, I mean, I know for me, I can't speak for everybody, but growing up, my school system pretty much laid me a foundation of what I was supposed to learn, and then depending on how I took a test, I was told if I was smart or dumb in that category or aspect, um-Of those teachings. And that really comes down to more of a fixed mindset versus a growth mindset, uh, which I think personally is one of the biggest things to hinder our quality of life, uh, to being fixed. Because if we're fixed, we're gonna create the same thing over and over and over, instead of really having a, a growth mindset where we can challenge ourselves and look through that challenge to be able to find these gems, to be able to serve ourselves and allow us to grow and serve and live that better quality of life, um, that most of us set goals for.

**Unknown:** So when it comes to the Demartini method, uh, and traditional, uh, methods of working on the mental-emotional aspect, um, we really look at it between an emotional versus a scientific approach. And the reason I say that is because when you look at the emotional approach, it's subjective. Uh, when I say it's subjective, we're still hanging onto, um, the old false perception that there is actually something that you were right or you were wrong, um, which is so far outdated, it's still kind of just crazy that, um, how long it takes for science to actually come up, uh, and meet the masses. Uh, so if you're asking like, you know, why don't more people know about this, is that, you know, even though Demartini's been working on this for forty-seven years, it's been one man for the most part on the mission.

**Unknown:** Um, and then you have facilitators like me that's helping him spread that mission, um, because that mission is really just educating and having our mental capacity have a better processing system so that we can serve ourselves better. When we serve ourselves better, we're always gonna be serving and growing humanity at the same time. So really when looking at this emotional, subjective approach, uh, like I said before, it's like you have good or bad, you have right and wrong. Um, it's a duality approach.

**Unknown:** And when we look at that, it's not serving us by any means. And because when we have that right or wrong, we're always, pretty much for the most part, we're fighting to be right. And we can look at this very e- easily in society right now, uh, because everybody is pushing... I would say everybody, majority of people are pushing their values onto other people.

**Unknown:** So what I mean is they're telling people how they think everyone should be acting, and unfortunately, this is, uh, like all governing systems, is an above-down approach. Uh, so we can't put really blame on society unless we've taken the steps to be empowered to be able to really see for ourselves. Um, but if we're not, if we really, if we need a leader, um, and a person to guide us through life, then we're always gonna be carrying the same systems that they're really giving us. It's kind of like I said in school, you know, I didn't learn how to think, how to ask questions, what was most important to me in life.

**Unknown:** I learned that outside of school. Actually, I learned that after school. And, uh, it's just so interesting because it's, that's the same governing system. Uh, today we're still taking information given to us instead of really looking for maybe better quality data points, uh, to give us a different perspective, and then looking at all the data and coming up with our truth.

**Unknown:** Um, because our truth is always going to be actually slightly different than anybody else's truth because, quote-unquote, "The way we see information is we all have different lenses on." And those lenses are really coming from our highest values, which dictate how we see the world of good and bad. So I know I'm going really deep into this science objective approach, um, but it's really, it allows us to see that it's, it's so dead wrong and how we, um... Or sorry, not the scientific approach, uh, but the emotional approach is how when we're emotionally thinking, uh, we're only seeing one side of things. 'Cause when we see both side of things, um, that's when we can make the most meaningful, hence the average, the mean, uh, the middle, that's when we can mo- make the most meaningful decisions to serve ourselves.

**Unknown:** And I think you're right, even though it goes really deep, but it's so relevant to everything going on right now. Um, and would you say in regards to, you know, the lens that we see the world is based upon our values, but, um, what about the approach right now with respecting the values of other people? Um, 'cause we're all gonna have different values. Uh, would you say that, you know, that's where we need to be a little bit, is just the honoring and respecting of the values of another individual?

**Unknown:** Well, yeah, and, and I didn't tell the whole story, uh, then as well. I mean, there's a lot of data points to get into, but... So let me answer one part of that story that I didn't share the whole, quote-unquote, "the whole truth." Um, so when we view the world foundationally, the first part we always see is, um, is it, we, we view the world based on our values, so what's most important to us. So the reason we do that is because the first one, information first comes in, uh, we are always are animalistically, we're always trying to avoid pain and seek pleasure.

**Unknown:** Uh, so when data points come in, whether we're really conscious or not, the more conscious we are of our highest values, the more we can use those data points, that information to serve us. But even when we're not, we're always kinda going by, you know, something that feels good, that gut instinct. Uh, we use so many different sensory aspects to help us decide if we're not conscious on what's most important to us. But that choice is coming to pretty much seek pleasure, things that are going to serve us, even if it's short-term, uh, which sometimes creates long-term pleasure or long-term pain.

**Unknown:** But then at the other side of things, uh, we have a quick, uh, mechanism to evaluate is something maybe gonna cause us pain, which we wanna try to avoid. Yeah. So those are the two major lenses, uh, of how we're always, um, kind of perceiving the world. But really coming back to your question, I mean, to the-Black and white answer is that we're not showing love.

**Unknown:** We've confused the difference between love and like, and we don't need to like everybody, we don't need to agree with everybody, but we need to show love. Because if we're not showing love to someone else, really that comes back to the reflective mind through actually neurons in the brain that are called mirror neurons, that when we do something externally or we see something externally, it's a reflection of our own selves. So when we're giving hate out, we're really just not acknowledging the aspect of ourselves that we hate, um, and the different forms of non-love, uh, you can fill in the blank. Um, but we're designed to love ourselves as well as learn how to love everyone else, and that's, I think, really the, the main objective is why we're here in the world, is to learn how to love.

**Unknown:** I mean, not as a spoiler alert, but a lot of, a lot of everything I do as far as, like, a chiropractor, as a functional medicine, as a functional neurologist, like, all of those things is very intelligent rehab to put the body back together from all the damage that we've done from making poor choices- Mm-hmm ... from not having that strong, healthy, mental, emotional pretty much approach, uh, for life. So really, it's the only thing that truly heals is love, grace, gratitude and joy. I love that.

**Unknown:** Thank you for going to depth on that, because that, I think, painted a perfect picture. So when we get onto the scientific approach- ... we're on, like, slide three and a half an hour in. I'll try to speed things up.

**Unknown:** A little, little, uh, I like to say passionate, but I keep reminding myself that passion comes from suffering. Uh, so when we're passionate about something, it's... That energy is driven from an aspect of suffering. Wow.

**Unknown:** So I guess there's maybe still a little bit of suffering from, uh, anxiety. I mean, honestly, nothing's bad or good, and we'll understand that more. But I mean, I was anxious coming into this, um, because I'm... It's not like I don't know this shit.

**Unknown:** I talk about it every day, all day, all the time, uh, even to myself and... But it was, you know, am I going to be able to connect with the people that really need to receive this information, uh, the most? So I was a little anxious, but that, you know, it's like a lot of something can be bad, but a little of anything is almost not bad. Uh, it's really when we look at that aspect that that little bit of anxiety, that little bit of fear actually is a great stimulant to my nervous system to keep me in focus.

**Unknown:** Uh, without it, I could be lackadaisical and make up words like I've been doing throughout this webinar, if you haven't noticed. I've only caught that maybe one time, so. Only once. So the difference between most traditional talk therapies and the Demartini Method is that, um, really Demartini is scientific.

**Unknown:** Um, so when the, when you compare the two, uh, the scientific is based off of mainly both physics and mathematics, even though mathematics plays a big part in physics. Um, but you're objectively able to measure all the different data points. So even down to the intensity, uh, that somebody has going through. Um, so it's like that all or nothing approach, uh, from that baseline, that homeostasis, uh, whether zero anxiety to 100% anxiety, um, there's mathematics to actually measure that.

**Unknown:** And once you get up to a certain, uh, point in that, we actually, what I call have blinders on, is that, you know, that goes kind of the all or nothing to, you know, there's some benefits, there's some drawbacks, or there's only benefits, there's no drawbacks, or there's only drawbacks. So a lot of times when people are anxious and we go through and like, what was, what was the benefit of that? They'll be like, "There was no benefits." And that's because that their level of anxiousness was so high that they actually couldn't see anything else. And that's when you need, like, a facilitator to help take you through the process, to kind of help open up those doors, uh, that you...

**Unknown:** So you can see those things to work on. Otherwise, once you know the method, the beautiful thing is, even if you have just a little, um, pretty much anxiety that, you know, it's more than what's beneficial to the body, then you can, you'll be able to see, all those doors will be open. So you can use the entire method and take yourself through the process. And that's my favorite part about this, is that, you know, you don't need a therapist, you don't need a facilitator for most things.

**Unknown:** Uh, once you understand the method you have, you own the questions. It's really just about taking the time to go through and love yourself and work, work through to be able to increase your awareness so that you can change your belief systems, so that you can actually use what's going on to serve you. So once we get into the foundation of the science that's actually creates this technique, um, a lot of it is based on universal laws. Uh, so one of those universal laws is that energy is not created or destroyed.

**Unknown:** Another, and this is probably one of my top favorite laws, um, is that for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. So Einstein used this, uh, in a lot of his formulas. Um, the one most famous formula, um, that it was a piece of was E equals MC squared. Uh, and what was very interesting is that back in the day, um, before that equal sign, it, he had it, uh, the top mark was a positive and the lower one was a negative.

**Unknown:** So it was act-actually, he had first written it E is positive negative MC squared. Mm. Uh, and then later they changed it to equal, um, as more of a simplistic form. I don't think mathematics, the calculators could do plus and negative.

**Unknown:** Uh, but it was really just stating, uh, that there, that equal is an equal amount of positive and negative charge. For every action, there is that equal and opposite reaction. Uh, which is very cool stuff. And then the first scientific governing, uh, law-Um, this portrays to so many different forms, and once we really own this, I always kind of say we can put on the magician hat, uh, and really start playing with how we transition aspects of our life, um, that we don't want, take that energy and really change its form, transfer it into something that's going to serve us.

**Unknown:** And this really scientific approach, uh, it's called the law of one to the many or many to the one. Uh, so really that's the very first law, um, as creation first came out of the eye of the one and went into one in many other forms. And eventually, uh, we hit a point that we can't expand any further, and then energy actually collapses back o- onto itself and then recreates the whole different sequence, ah, it's just in a whole different timeframe, if you're looking through a Newtonian lens. Uh, not to get too deep into that right now.

**Unknown:** The science of creation. So this is huge. Um, and a lot of what I'm saying here, and you may be asking like, great, these laws are cool, but, you know, how does this portray to anxiety and depression? Um, hold on with me for a little bit because- This is my- ...

**Unknown:** I will say, like the non-physical energy going to physical form, like this concept, this, you know, science, um, explanation behind it, this is personally one of my favorites, because I've definitely experienced, um, this within my life. Yeah, and I mean, it's... When we think about it, everything is energy. Yeah.

**Unknown:** And we, you know, even the computer that's sitting on the table, it's just forms of energy. And when we go through forms of energy, both this table and the computer that I'm looking at f- was first somebody's thought or a group of people's thoughts that came into one form, and then through that one form, then it got broken up to goals, to micro goals. But it's, it's understanding how every single process of creation really goes through a very similar flow. And when we can understand that, we can use that, no matter how big the journey or, you know, it's how the process of making breakfast even.

**Unknown:** Um, everything th- goes through that creation, um, of first a thought, uh, a non-physical form going through the process to actually create the physical form, the outcome. So let's get started because this is really important to understand and, uh, I've heard too many people teach, uh, it incorrectly, which drives me crazy. Um, but I mean, I went and I Demartinied it, and I understood the good and the bad with it. No, I, I honestly had to, uh, 'cause it, it drove me that crazy.

**Unknown:** Um, 'cause I realized that I've taught bad things before too. Uh- Yeah ... so anything that I'm saying here, you know, don't just believe it. Go through, do your own research and own it.

**Unknown:** Um, because that is the only way we truly grow, and that's the transfer of just obtaining knowledge, um, which can actually create more pain because if we have more knowledge, more data points, but we don't take action, uh, transfer that knowledge into wisdom, uh, we pretty much get stuck in that pain point because we know that there's more possibilities, but we're not doing anything, um, about it. Yeah. So really the science of creation, as I said, uh, it's first mental. It's first starts in our belief systems.

**Unknown:** And when you think about beliefs, it's our judgments. Uh, so that is how our judgments can be created, uh, is a belief that, you know, something has more benefits than drawbacks or something's bad and something's good. Um, those are your beliefs on something. So from those beliefs, that's how our emotions are created.

**Unknown:** And what neuroscience has proved about our emotions is they can occur up to seven seconds before we have a conscious thought, a perception, which is freaking wild. Uh, so really when you look at the non-physical, uh, portion of this, it's your beliefs and your emotions because we weren't even conscious about something until our perception came through. Like, that's kinda wild when you think about it. You know, people are like, "Control your emotions." Like, it's impossible to control your emotions.

**Unknown:** Yep. Your emotions occur before you're even conscious about it, so you can't control it. So that's why your life is... If you want a good quality of life, that's why the quality of your questions are so important.

**Unknown:** Because you could listen to somebody and like, "I'm gonna focus on trying to control your emotions." Well, you're just wasting a shit ton of time, and you're gonna be pissed off at yourself because you can't do something which is impossible. So it's really intelligent here listening to today because, like I said, everybody has a voice, um, and a lot of keyword confidence, but that doesn't mean that there may be a lot of intelligence or truth coming, uh, from that other side. Yeah. So the, this is the first state of that physical form.

**Unknown:** So when we understand that, that is the first thing that we can personally control. So we can't control our beliefs, our emotions, but we can control, I'm not flipping you off. We can control our perceptions. And that's really the start is we can control our perceptions, our decisions, and our actions.

**Unknown:** Those are the only three things we can control in life. So if we're doing a lot of worry, if we have anxiety, if we have, you know, all these other drivers, that could come from a story from something we can't control, which is false at the same time, because we can control our beliefs and emotions by stepping up and taking control of our perceptions. So when we go through and we change our perception, then if we change our perception strong enough, we can actually go back and that perception change will change our belief about something. So our perception of, you know, what's good, what's bad, you know, what has benefits, what has drawbacks, you know, is something missing or can I see it fulfilled in my life right now?

**Unknown:** Like, our perceptions are so important because they're really the main drivers of our belief system that creates our emotion. And you can say, "Well, I'm just gonna consciously focus on my perceptions all day," which is awesome if you're conscious all day. But really, when neuroscience has provedWe're only conscious up of to about 10% of the day. 90% of the day, our unconscious is in control of everything that we do.

**Unknown:** That's like when you're driving, you end up somewhere and you go, "Oh, shit," like, "How did I get here?" Yeah. Your unconscious drove you there. Like, your mind was somewhere else. That that occurs the most of our day, which is kinda scary when you think about it.

**Unknown:** But that also shows that everything is on just replay. So those beliefs, those emotions are constantly creating perceptions, decisions, actions that that's the definition of insanity, is doing the same thing over and over and wanting a different result, but 90% of our day, we're doing the same result. So really in that conscious 10% of the day that we have, I think it would be wise to go through and change that programming so that the other 90% of the day, it's working for you instead of against you. And that's really what I think the genius behind this method is, is that it's repro- gramming, reprogramming your subconscious mind to really serve you and what's most important to you.

**Unknown:** Best way to put it. Yeah. Cheers, Val. And really, as we go through, like I said, you know, those results compounded over years takes us to our current reality.

**Unknown:** And if we don't change what's creating our current reality, it's going to give us more of the same, which is completely fine if you're completely content, you're grateful for where you're at in life, um, you don't want any more. Like, I'm not gonna go on, 'cause it's all a lie. Like, if you're alive, uh, the whole aspect of life is growth and e- uh, evolution. So, uh, for people that, you know, even, quote-unquote, "retirees," they're, most of them, if, if they're not excited, they're not inspired, they're not serving themselves, they're not evolving.

**Unknown:** Uh, but a lot of people that will retire, they're like, "You know, I'm golfing. I'm doing all these other things that are fulfilling their life." Um, so that is the goal. It doesn't matter what we're doing in life, just as long as we're living a fulfilled and inspired life. So we talked about the definition of insanity.

**Unknown:** Let's get after some myths. So the first myth, you wanna read it, Val? All right. People with anxiety and depression should avoid stressful situations.

**Unknown:** This- What do you think about that? I'm gonna share my personal, you know, story behind this, because I'm someone who, my belief system for a very long time was definitely structured around repetitive stories that were not bringing any good into my life or weren't doing me justice. Um, so for myself, I dealt with that anxiety, depression. I avoided those stressful situations because I didn't wanna feel the pain, and, um, I just thought it'd be easier, you know, to get through life that way.

**Unknown:** And ultimately, as time went on and I avoided those stressful situations, and I wasn't quite, you know, focusing on really what was my anxiety and depression trying to tell me, it, you know, kinda s- it was a snowball effect, and it's something that, you know, kinda came to the forefront that I had to work through. Dr. Nick has, you know, gone through the Demartini program with me. We, we daily, you know, have moments- Mm-hmm ...

**Unknown:** um, even if it's a small moment you know, where, you know, you need to acknowledge, um, what the challenge is and how it's gonna be, you know, beneficial for you. That stressful situation that's nagging you, um, how are you gonna lean into it and work through it instead of ignoring it? So I mean, this can be used, I think we spoke about this, on a, a very different, diverse spectrum, whether it's something as small as a stressful situation or, um, a really big, you know, um, life moment that's in front of you causing it. It's just the avoidance is not going to do you any service or justice.

**Unknown:** And, and- And what's, what's beautiful is that it's the same process, you know, to the other day, like, and I walked by, and Val has like, you could just tell, like, Val's always smiling and glowing, and she did not have that glow on. She was still smiling, but she didn't have that glow. Yeah. And I'm like, "What's going on?" She's like, "It was a hard call." And I was like, "See the benefits," and I just walked away.

**Unknown:** And w- at the end of the day, she walked up. She goes, "I went through. I wrote down a bunch of benefits that equal the drawbacks. I, I see the lesson.

**Unknown:** I see the learning. It served me. Thank you." And it was, it's just, it's that simple, uh, to not, A, carry that on, 'cause the body does keep the score. You know, if, if we don't deal with the s- the stressful situations, and we just think that time's gonna heal it, that is a fallacy.

**Unknown:** Yeah. And that is just compounded stress onto every single system, and then eventually, the body throws up its hands and is like, "I c- I can't. I just can't." And, um, yeah, the goal is to not get there. Yeah.

**Unknown:** I mean, I saw that myself as, um, just like you said, I, I ignored it, I ignored it, and then actual health symptoms came from the avoidance of that anxiety and depression. And at that point, you know, it's... And, and the tools, like you said, it's as simple as that one small moment of challenge in your day to when you do come up ac- across those really, really huge life moments that might be challenging you, you're, you're prepared for it. Yep, 100%.

**Unknown:** And another myth pretty soon, pre-casting it, is, um, some really acute hacks that we can do also to get out of, uh, those states of anxiety or depression. But I mean, you pretty much answered this. Should we avoid it? And I'd say, I mean, there's no right or wrong.

**Unknown:** I mean, when... And this is the very beautiful aspect, is when you made that decision to avoid, it's because the only reason, your perception, you saw that there were more drawbacks than benefits. Yep. So you avoid it.

**Unknown:** Soon as you go through and you change your perception is that there's actually more drawbacks of avoiding than benefits of going through- Yeah ... then your, then your action's different, 'cause you're different, 'cause your belief system's different, and then the science of creation's different. So if we wanna change our story, um, we gotta go r- through and really just work on what we can c- control and change, our perceptions, our decisions, and our actions. Here is the next mythSo medication, alcohol, weed, binging on Netflix is my way of managing anxiety and depression.

**Unknown:** It's self-care- Mm-hmm ... TM. This is, I think, the most, um, mainstream myth as well. And, well, it's not a myth.

**Unknown:** That's the way most people, um, raising my hand, I was guilty of it for a couple years as well. Um- Mm-hmm ... not everybody knows my story, but I had really severe post- post-concussion syndrome. Mm-hmm.

**Unknown:** And I was, uh, pretty depressed, uh, throughout those years and also have this like a crazy rage, uh, deep inside me, uh, that a lot of my friends knew me. They would agree with that. Um, but the only way I knew how to find peace was to get so drunk I'd pass out, black out drunk. Um, not the most intelligent way to deal with it.

**Unknown:** Uh, kept searching, uh, and here I am, thank God. Uh, so yeah, there's... That is a possible way, um, but there are a lot of consequences, trust me personally, on this. But when we, when we look at this, this is, um, many different reasons why.

**Unknown:** One reason is a lack of, a lack of opportunity, uh, when it comes down to it because I searched for many years. I went and saw many different therapists. I went and saw many different neurologists. I did many different things, uh, searching, and that search only led me so far, and I still had the majority of my symptoms.

**Unknown:** Uh, and I was still, uh, a big part of this myth, uh, personally for many years. Um, and it was just a huge avoidance factor, um, because when I kept searching and finally took the empowerment of I'm just gonna fucking heal myself, um, then I started to heal. And sometimes we have to just, you know, go both feet in the deep end and have that trust, uh, have that faith. Because if we don't take action, uh, we're always gonna be on that hamster wheel and, you know, every once in a while something good can just fall into our lap.

**Unknown:** Um, but that pattern, that cycle didn't end, and we're gonna go right back to the medication, the alcohol, the weed because it was literally like a diet. It was short-term, uh, a glimpse of hope, but then that old pattern came back and took our life over. So it's, it's really about setting up your life in a structured way to literally have boundaries set so you have better quality standards to be able to serve yourself. And when we do that, we have to understand that it's you can't have something without...

**Unknown:** You can't have something for nothing, really what it comes down to. Uh, so you know, when... If you want a gain, you're gonna have a loss. If you want a loss, you're gonna have a gain.

**Unknown:** Um, so that's the equal and opposite reaction for every action that we were talking about earlier. So if, if you want to get out of this pain state, most people go right towards short, short-term pleasure, which is what medication, alcohol, weed, all those, that huge long list is. But if you want long-term pleasure, it's the inverse reality, equal and opposite. So we have to go through short-term pain to work on the situation, go through it, hence that's a challenge.

**Unknown:** So usually, you know, we think about it, we're avoiding a challenge, anxiety and depression, and we're seeking the pleasure, medication, alcohol, weed. But we can think of it honestly more like homeopathy. So homeopathy teaches that like cures like, and when you look at the physics of homeopathy, everything has a wavelength. Mm-hmm.

**Unknown:** So when you have the wavelength of one thing and you have the exact same wavelength and they come and they hit each other, they actually kill each other and destruct each other. So when you go to measure the wavelength, there's actually nothing to measure, and that's how homeopathies work is like cures like. So if you want to pretty much cure a challenge, you have to face that head on with the same amount of challenge, that same intensity that it's giving you, you have to fight it back pretty much with the same intensity. Mm-hmm.

**Unknown:** And then we can cancel it out and go on to serving ourselves to something better. You didn't know you're gonna learn about homeopathy tonight. It always comes full circle. Circle, circle makes a square.

**Unknown:** There we go. So the next myth, anxiety, anxiety and depression are unrelated. Hmm. So this is...

**Unknown:** I have a hard time lying or saying the truth. I don't know what's wrong with me. It's part of the always saying the opposite. So this is true and false, um, just as in everything in life.

**Unknown:** Uh, so the, the truth why anxiety and depression are unrelated is when you think of what the opposite of anxiety is, is what? Something like calmness. What's the opposite of depression? Something like happiness.

**Unknown:** So it's one part of it is, yeah, they are unrelated. But they- it's increasing the awareness to be able to see how many things are actually entangled in life, and that's when it gets really, really beautiful, um, because you see how really everything around us, every person is a necessary aspect of bringing that equanimity, that equilibrium of energy. Uh, and when we see that, that's when we can actually give love to them because we know without them, uh, we wouldn't have this evolution and growth that's really needed. Um, you know, growth is painful.

**Unknown:** We're going through a lot of pain and a lot of changes externally, but if we can actually increase our awareness to see that this is a necessary step to actually just take energy, transfer some forms, we're gonna be changing some aspects, we can understand that, and it's just op- like it's just growth. We're gonna... In order to have a gain, to have something new, we also have to have a loss. Um, it's just the exchange of energy.

**Unknown:** I, I mean, just to speak from like a personal standpoint, it's so interesting 'cause I always felt that my anxiety and depression actually were always kind of together because you'd feel this moment of anxiety, and if you're not, um, actually doing the work or you're not, you know, looking into what's actually causing this, how do I resolve it, you know, then I think that depression for like myself set in because I wasn't-I wasn't holding myself accountable. Um, and it was kind of like this cyclical thing. Mm-hmm. You know, the anxiety would happen, but then the depression would happen because, you know, the, the steps I wasn't taking appropriately to help, you know, look at what's causing the anxiety.

**Unknown:** And it was just like this, yeah, this cyclical thing with, you know, both of those. So everybody, I did not pay Val to say that. But you're literally a neurologist without knowing it. Yes.

**Unknown:** So when one of the things that we do in our office is called a qEEG. It's a quantitative, uh, electroencephalograph, uh, which actually measures the, uh, brain activity as it comes out to the surface of our skull. Uh, and we can do that to be able to look at the different brainwaves. So over the different areas of the, the brain, uh, we want different regions to be firing, uh, in specific ranges so that we're getting optimal, uh, efforts coming out of it.

**Unknown:** If there's areas that are too high or too low, um, it can really create a lot of havoc and distress, not only through the neurological system, uh, but also on the biochemical and the physical system as well. So when we look at that, anxiety is really an overdrive of what's called your beta and gamma brainwaves. Uh, so they are very short, very fast, very high wavelengths. Um, so that's when anxious comes on, we're almost shaking and buzzing because our nervous system is shaking and buzzing.

**Unknown:** When that gets tired and fatigued for wasting so much energy, guess what? Equal and opposite, boom, front left cortex, depression. So depression is also the equal and opposite. It is your slow and long brainwaves, man.

**Unknown:** And that's why everything's so slow and down- Yeah ... when we're depressed because that's how our nervous system is firing. So really the, the goal is when we can take our brain and have it run in equanimity and balance, we don't have those highs and those lows. So our brain chemistry, our brain firing is actually in balance because we're controlling the firing through our perceptions, our decisions, and our actions.

**Unknown:** Yeah. So that's, that's one of my favorite things to be able to wanna connect with this is because we do have the power to control our life and create the life that we want, that, but it first comes through on... Don't get me wrong, it's a lot of hard work. But that work, oh my God, the gifts that that work, that self-care will give you is unimaginable.

**Unknown:** Yeah, 1,000%. Val, I'm just an anxious person. I'm a worrier. This will last me a lifetime.

**Unknown:** And I'm not making fun of anybody. This hits close to . Maybe Val a little bit. I'm sure people think the same.

**Unknown:** I, I thought these things applied to me for a good a lo- uh, for a very long time. I'm sure other people can speak to it too when, um, I noticed it was family members who, who were so anxious and so worried all the time, and I started looking at patterns within my family. And I'm sure a lot of people experience that too, especially right now. It's, um, you're not just, you know, looking at your own anxieties, the anxieties of other people are being put onto you.

**Unknown:** Um, and so sometimes you think like, is it genetics? Is this something that, you know, my mom had, and that's the person she was, and I'm gonna be that person? Um, so I'm gonna let you crack that myth. No.

**Unknown:** And, I mean, a lot of, even when in the integrative aspect of medicine, uh, with clients, I'm asking a family history, but I, it's not because of genes, and we don't have time to go into all the, the genes and epigenetic aspect of things. Um, but really it's because a lot of what we've learned and science has shown us between, it's the last trimester up to the first seven years of life, is we learn habits. Uh, because most animals, uh, really learn very shortly how to live on their own, and we're taking about the first seven years to be able to live on our own. So everything that we're doing is really collecting data points around us to how to stay alive.

**Unknown:** And unfortunately, a lot of those habits that we learn, um, maybe aren't always the best ones to serve us. Yeah. Um, but luckily, we're always trying to fulfill what we see as missing. So we take the voids that we've experienced or perceived, um, and that usually becomes one of our higher values, uh, to be able to focus on to serve ourselves.

**Unknown:** So when looking at kind of the all or nothing, you know, I'm, I'm an anxious person, or I'm just a worrier, this is gonna last me a lifetime, uh, those are all really coming from just, uh, two points. Um, one is lo- going back is if our emotions or our mindset is so polarized that we can't see anything else. So when I say too it's a lack of understanding, it's really there's no understanding because we can't see anything else. Uh, we can only see worry.

**Unknown:** We can only see anxiousness. We can only see that we're gonna have this for a lifetime. But when we can actually break down, because that's a very globalized view, but we can actually break down the view and see all of life that we can actually go through moments where we were not anxious, where we weren't worrying. We can actually go in moments where we were displaying or demonstrating the exact opposite, where we were happy, where we were calm.

**Unknown:** And when we stack those scenarios up to the mind, we're changing our perception that we weren't always anxious, or we weren't always a worrier. And when we do it enough times, we can actually balance that teeter-totter, that weight scale out to be able to see that, guess what? I've been calm as much as I've been anxious in life. Well, now my belief system changed.

**Unknown:** Mm-hmm. And we know 90% of the day you're anxious or worried, so you weren't all wrong because it's that same cycle that's creating your anxious and worriness.But if we go through and we change the perception, which changes the belief system, that I've actually been calm as equal amounts I've been anxious, so I'm not scared of either one, and I work through and be able to use whether I'm calm to serve me or whether I'm anxious to serve me, then I can not only change my belief system so that 90% of the day it's not gonna have a driver to really create the effects of being anxious, or a worrier, or depressed, or fill in the blank. Uh, this is what, this is what's amazing about the technique is, you know, tonight we're just talking about anxiety and depression. I could literally do probably the exact same verbiage for two other emotions, just throw them in there and replace those two words.

**Unknown:** Um- Yeah ... don't, don't do that because then I can't charge you any money to learn anything new. Uh, just kidding. Just keep it at anxiety and depression.

**Unknown:** So when it comes back to that all or nothing mindset that we saw, like I'm only anxious, I'm only worried, I'm all those things, that is what we call a fixed mindset. So I've labeled myself as a, a specific label, an identity, and that is fixed. Uh, there's no changing that. So that's the difference between a fixed mindset and a growth mindset.

**Unknown:** A growth mindset is, yeah, I've been anxious. I may be anxious right now. I may be so anxious right now that I'm having or going to have a panic attack soon, or just came out of a panic attack, or had one recently. All of that is truth, that we can experience things, but that doesn't mean that that is who we need to be for the rest of our life.

**Unknown:** When we can see that that is an aspect of who we are but not who we are, an aspect, then we can allow growth to really change. I agree with this so much, and that's like one thing... Anxiety and depression, um, you know, that's a ex- experiencing, you know, the symptoms of anxiety and depression. It's going to happen in life.

**Unknown:** It's not something we can avoid. Um, it's about not attaching your identity to that, like you said, and knowing it's a- it's happening to me right now, what am I going to do to overcome this and to evolve from it? I think that's really where I think as, you know, a society we're not taught that. You know, the labels are kind of put on us that, y- you know, you're labeled with anxiety, you're labeled with depression, and it's not...

**Unknown:** It's used as, you know, something that's gonna hinder you, where I think we need to now cultivate, like you said, that growth mindset. That this isn't, that's not who you are. You know? Right.

**Unknown:** Not that anxious person. You might experience it, but don't label yourself like that. No, and, and I mean, as you go through and some people may need to "go through the method" to actually just, you know, take that label off of them. Yeah.

**Unknown:** Uh, because so many times when even through traumas that we're in relationships that we're labeled as a trauma victim, and so many other different scenarios. And soon as we pretty much take that label off of us, sometimes we have society still looking at us that we're that old label because they don't know the work that we've done, and they still connect with us. So I mean, this is rare cases, but we worked in cases, um, where it's like there's been such a strong label, uh, behind a person with so many people in their community that we didn't... And they did so much work on themselves that I was just like, "Honestly, I think your, your best bet is to move." Uh- Wow ...

**Unknown:** because I go, once you work on yourself to the point that he wasn't being triggered by them- Mm-hmm ... but it was an external environment. So that means that every lesson that he needed to get he had learned and he'd worked through. Mm-hmm.

**Unknown:** So there was no trigger there. He saw that there is drawbacks and benefits. Mm-hmm. But we want to put ourselves into environment that naturally, honestly just uplifts us and, and allows us to grow.

**Unknown:** And that doesn't mean that it's a fantasy, that everything's all fluff, fluff, and support, because growth occurs with both challenge and support. So y- you're not running away from challenges, but you're just trying to find an, a community and environment that's going to build you up as well as break you down because s- that is the really optimal growth and evolution occurs with that. Yeah. 1,000.

**Unknown:** Thank you. And that goes back to, I mean, when we're looking at that growth mindset, and the level of your growth mindset equals the amount of change that you're willing to accept and to put into yourself. But the reason I feel like most people don't have a growth mindset is because change sucks. Uh, change is not fun literally ever.

**Unknown:** It's not comfortable. It's sticky. It's yucky. There's usually tears.

**Unknown:** Sometimes there's yelling. Like, it's a transformation to change. And when we look at change, change is combone- combined amount of equal amounts of gain and loss. So the degree of change equals the degree of gain, which equals the degree of loss, because there's an equal and opposite reaction.

**Unknown:** So if you want to change, and let's say this is where you're at and you wanna be here, well, you also have to lose that equal amount that much. Um, so it's kind of like the weird analogy, I don't know if there's any rock climbers out there listening, um, but when lead climbing, that's kind of like the last place we clip in, if we climb up to here and we fall, we don't fall down to here, we fall an equal and opposite amount. So we go from here all the way down to here. So that's, that's the scariness of the change.

**Unknown:** Um, and that's, we don't understand that, that we're actually losing and gaining, and when we see that, that's a big change. Uh, and sometimes we wanna make changes that are too big too quick. And when you look at the neurology of change, unless we train ourselves, we actually can't handle too much more than a 10% change in one moment.So if, and it's, yeah, it's not much. Um, but if you think about it, it's like if you had $100 and you lost 10, would you care?

**Unknown:** No. No. If you had a, if you had $100 and you lost 30, that would suck. Would, yeah.

**Unknown:** Right? Little bit more. Same thing if you, you know, go to a thousand, a million, whatever. But if you go through, and 10%'s not a big deal, but as soon as that's 30%, 40%, like that hurts, that stings.

**Unknown:** And whether or way, it's like even in the workout in the gym, you know, as a personal trainer, and that was one of the first fundamental things is, you know, don't add on more than 10% weight, 'cause it's gonna be a big shock to- shock to your musculoskeletal system, and you may break down more muscle than you actually, your body's ability to actually repair it. So that 10% rule goes through almost so many, uh, aspects of life, it's pretty crazy. So let's grow. Let's change.

**Unknown:** Let's not wait. Let's get into really neutralizing anxiety and depression, utilizing the method of Demartini. This is not a protocol. It can be a protocol.

**Unknown:** But it's not a protocol. You know how I always like to say, like, the half truth and the half false every single time? So the, the reason I said it's not a protocol and it is a protocol is that protocol is if you just go by question, question, question, question. Yeah.

**Unknown:** And the beauty of that is that you'll get to the same end result, it can just take longer. Um, the non-protocol is once you know the system and all the questions, uh, up in here, not on paper, then you bounce around to really it's kind of when I talk about investing, uh, on some earlier aspects, uh, when you talk about investing, it's always you're wanting to give the least amount of energy output and have the biggest input, uh, back. Uh, so it's like, you know, whether it's financial investing, you know, you wanna invest little and have huge returns. Um, so the same things, there's multiple ways to get to the end goal, um, but the specificity is really meeting you where you're at.

**Unknown:** So when we look at this, you know, there's many points to this, but I found that there's really two common, uh, aspects where a lot of people come into. Uh, so really sometimes we need to get to the true cause of what's actually the driver to your anxiety or your depression, and then work on bringing that into balance. So you don't even honestly have to go through and do anything with the p- perceived anxiety or depression. You really put all the energy into the crater, what drove that perception, um, whether that's something that we're dealing with internally or something that happened to us externally, uh, or something that we even witnessed externally.

**Unknown:** Uh, sometimes we just need to work on that event. And like before, it's, you know, the Einstein positive equals negative, negative equals positive. So we're always going through and then trying to maintain, uh, the equanimity of the mind to see that there's an equal amount of benefits as there was drawbacks, and that's what the positive, negative is. The positive is the positive charge.

**Unknown:** And when you look at this, it's just a magnet. You know, we have the positive charge in a magnet, uh, and then we have that negative, uh, charge, really the world's same thing, North Pole, South Pole. Uh, it's everything in nature has both, uh, side of polarities, um, which is freaking amazing that we're all created out of the same thing. Uh, we just have different tension, different energy, um, that creates different forms.

**Unknown:** So other times it's best to go into the conscious mind, uh, of really just anxiety and depression. So you don't have to go to all the different drivers. Um, you just go to different moments, uh, in time and work on actually looking at just the anxiety piece and then going through and balancing that out. So understanding, uh, for every and equal opposite reaction that has occurred, when we're feeling anxiousness, there's also a moment in that exact same moment that's balancing anxiousness out.

**Unknown:** So let's call it calm. If we can go to that moment, we can actually see where in our life we're holding an equal amount of calmness, which is kinda cool because the only difference is that our perception was focused on just the anxiety. But when we change our perception, and we can see that we actually had an equal amount of calmness and anxiety, that starts to actually decrease our polarized emotion and bringing that back down to harmony. And when we do this with all of the different questions in the Demartini method, at the end, whatever we once were resentful or judging or those imbalanced, we're actually grateful for it because it gave an opportunity to go through and love parts of ourselves that we didn't see before.

**Unknown:** Because w- you know, when we think about it, we're judging ourselves for something. That's why we have a response. So as soon as we stop judging ourselves, which means that we love the aspect that we were judging, and we see that they're, both sides were true and false, it wasn't, uh, wasn't all bad, wasn't all good, that there were equal amount of benefits and drawbacks in the same moment. When we can get to that state of that mental balance, then our whole external reality changes and there's no more depression or anxiety, uh, to, for, for those legs for it to stand on.

**Unknown:** That make sense? I think that was perfectly put. Okay. That in layman's terms, you know.

**Unknown:** Sometimes the science brain... Yeah. So we talked about this is you have to go to a specific moment where and when. Um, we can't just say, you know, anxiety in general.

**Unknown:** We have to go to the specific moments because when we work on changing something, uh, stories are kind of fluff. Um, we can create tons of stories, and changing a story doesn't really change anything but the story. What we wanna change is the actual neurology, the processing of those emotions. So all emotions are stored when in balance as both a posi-positive memory and an anti-negative memory, uh, to be in balance of the equal and opposite.

**Unknown:** So when you go back into the moment where it occurred, we can actually access the energy stored in the neurons of that memory, of that cell.And then when we neutralize it, that's pretty much the homeopathy that's actually, quote-unquote, "destructing" that stress that's being held, and then we're freeing the body of, of more potential energy to hold onto and carry and receive. I think you said the more specific, too, the, you know, the, the better it's going to be. Because I noticed that for myself when I started to go through Demartini is that I started to find out, um, and just come to the realization of the stories that I had in my head. And the more detailed I was, the more I was able to best recall and work through, um, the- Yeah.

**Unknown:** And honestly, it's, it's, it's hard for all of us sometimes, um, because we have comfort in our bullshit, honestly. It's just, uh, it's bullshit loves more bullshit. It's like when you go out and you hear gossip, like you're gonna hear more gossip. It, it attracts the same thing, and there's comfort, even when it's painful.

**Unknown:** There- that's why people stay in abusive relationships. Whether it's abusive relationship with yourself, uh, or abusive in a relationship with someone else, that's why we stay in those relationships, because there's also comfort in it. Yeah. And it's, the, the, the change is challenging.

**Unknown:** There's pain in that. Um, so it's, it's really about not being comfortable, uh, to be able to create those challenges yourself that are going to be a challenge to serve you. And it's always, I think, intelligent and wise to try to structure your day with specific challenges that are going to give you the biggest return in life. You know- Yeah ...

**Unknown:** it's like if, if we're not constantly investing in the time in our day, and then we get upset because we're not receiving the things that we want to have in life, but it's really the be to have principle. So it's about taking the time to structure the challenges, the pain to go through, but that pain, we'll go through all types of pain if we know that it's connected to our highest values with what's most important to us. Any time we go through pain and we need external motivation, it's we're, we're dealing, doing something that's not important to us. Um, so it's really about having that clarity.

**Unknown:** How did this benefit you in accordance to your highest values from that moment on? So we- I mentioned this, uh, question earlier, but, you know, going through something that we resented, seeing only drawbacks, we change that perception by seeing the equal and opposite. So if we see drawbacks, we need to see benefits. If we're only looking at something that has benefits, then we need to get us back grounded by seeing drawbacks.

**Unknown:** It's a very simple, uh, process that, you know, I had Val do, uh, a while back when she had that hard call, and I was like, "What's the benefits?" Walked away, let her process. Knew that's really all she needed, uh, to get through. It wasn't this huge aspect. Uh, but that's what's awesome about this is because you can spend a couple hours to break down a huge, huge deal, or you can take one question out of the whole method and use it for, you know, a quick little rebalance, get focused, get grounded.

**Unknown:** 'Cause if she didn't do that, it was, it wasn't gonna serve her, but also wasn't gonna serve any clients that came in. So it's just kind of a loss for everybody that's around Val. Um, and that's on her. And that's, that's, we all have that responsibility ourselves for how we show up for ourselves as well as for everyone else, for our family, for our pets, for our coworkers, for our society.

**Unknown:** That's on us. And for us to be shouting how other people should be acting is just straight ignorance because they are a different person than you. The only person we should be taking care of is ourselves, and if we look around, we're, I think we're doing a pretty shitty job of it. So we really need to step up our game living on this beautiful planet.

**Unknown:** I agree. And then the very similar question, you know, what are the drawbacks? So if we're seeing overly benefits, what are the drawbacks, um, to that same trait as well? So we're asking all these questions and just moving through, but it's the linking process.

**Unknown:** So understanding that, yeah, that that was a small piece of the Demartini method, having those questions, but the whole thing is linking, and that is how we change our perception. So when we go through and we can link and stack. That's what I mean by linking, is just stacking more and more and more, asking more and answering more, asking more and answering more. It's repetitive, but that's what actually changes our belief system.

**Unknown:** So if we have a very polarized belief that something is all bad, we're gonna have to stack an equal amount to be able to, to match that belief to change it to the equal and opposite, to see both sides, and both sides were equally bad and equally good. They gave us everything that we actually needed in life. So let's get to what I think the top three takeaways were. You might have your other three takeaways.

**Unknown:** But this is a question on the workbook. Uh, so make sure you're following the workbook, uh, writing those in. Um, but like we stated before, it's the process, the transfer of energy that flows through our beliefs, our emotions, hence the non-physical form, and then starting the physical form with... Oh, sorry.

**Unknown:** Uh, starting more the physical form with our conscious awareness of our perceptions, decisions, actions, and then finally getting results. The number two big takeaway is you can't have a gain without a loss. Uh, this is tremendous to know about because we tend to set up fantasies in life that everything's gonna be good, and not all is good. Loss usually does not feel good.

**Unknown:** Um, but when we can go through and let's just say we're, you know, we're still in January. If you haven't created goals, uh, for 2021, it would be very wise, uh, to create some goals, um, so we have an objective data of what you want to accomplish in this year. And, you know, you can do three, five, and, um, keep going on. But understanding that if you're accomplishing that goal, you're having an equal and opposite loss.

**Unknown:** So until we, uh, can actually become conscious of the loss and the drawbacks of the loss and also see how those losses are gonna equally benefit you, you're gonna create resistas- resistance in your life to achieving that goal. So this is one of the major things that I find that-When people don't achieve their goals, usually one of two things happen, is that one, the goal wasn't actually connected to what's most important to them. It was a fantasy goal, uh, that was probably injected by them that they thought was cool, but somebody else thought it was cool and they just took that as, uh, something they wanted in their life, but it wasn't truly something that they wanted, um, that was connected with what was most important to them. The second thing is, is that there was too much resistance in their way, so they could never pretty much get enough momentum or energy to go through and accomplish all of the micro goals to achieve their macro goal.

**Unknown:** And when we have resistance, the resistance comes from our beliefs. Uh, so we need to go through, and one of the biggest things on resistance is I'm always in, I guess, the rule of two today. Uh, one of those resistance is by not seeing the equal and opposite, the losses that will occur to have the gains. And, like, literally having, uh, an action plan to be able to move through those losses so that you can pretty much create that loss as energy efficient as possible, but also in a way that's going to serve you.

**Unknown:** Because we can literally use... We can teach ourselves to use everything to serve us. Uh, and that's maybe an aspect of selfishness, uh, when you think about it, but it's the good aspect of selfishness, because selfishness itself isn't good or bad. Um, there's both good and bad.

**Unknown:** It's how you... It's not what you do, it's how you do it. Um, so if I'm gonna be selfish, I'm going to be using that to learn how to love myself because I can't give something I don't have. So at first, I needed how to learn how to love myself, and then I can actually give that love on to others.

**Unknown:** So yeah, it's, it's equally beneficial to be selfish, uh, in certain ways. The third takeaway is the scientific objective approach to life that you can transform your beliefs to increase the quality of your life, and it's just... I know my brain works differently than most people. Don't get me wrong on this.

**Unknown:** I know n-not everybody is this, and maybe part of that reason is the 13 concussions I had. Um, but I'm but I'm grateful for it because I used to be so fucking emotional all the time, and now because of that huge void, uh, that I'm trying to really be objective as much as possible. And when you can literally have a scientific approach, uh, as a feedback mechanism to use every aspect of your life to uplevel every aspect of your life and know that all of that starts with our beliefs, and we have a very black and white set stone quality approach for you to achieve that in not months or years, but literally hours. It's so quick to transform and increase the quality of your life today.

**Unknown:** Yeah. Uh, I think, I think it's amazing. That's why Val and I are here on Outside Hours, uh, literally sharing this truth. Yeah, 'cause it's...

**Unknown:** It just, it's something that I know the both of us can both say that we utilize on a daily basis, and it's not just from the standpoint, you know, because it's something that we teach to others. It's because it's been a huge, uh, motivator. Just like for, like, I think... You know, I don't wanna speak for you, Dr.

**Unknown:** Nick, but for myself, it's just been my life, the quality of my life has gotten better because of it, and that doesn't mean the challenges are erased and that the anxiety and depression's not there. I'm no longer, you know, allowing that to control my life, and it's the quality of how I work through it and, you know, cultivate, um, the evolution is just because of this. Amen, sister. Amen.

**Unknown:** So we had a lot of side tangents, and I know I'm going a little over. Uh, so the case- It's tough, though. Yeah, I know. Uh, I was getting into it.

**Unknown:** Yes, you were. The case study, I'm not gonna go as deep into it, but I do wanna give a brief overview so you guys can kinda see, you know, one aspect of how this has worked. Um, we always relate to stories. The story I'm going to tell tonight is of a woman who I worked with, um, this was years ago, and she was literally...

**Unknown:** It was wild when, um, I first saw her. So her case was in person, and she was literally shaking. Her nervous system was shaking, and that's how anxious she was. Um, but you could just look at her and not even be dialed into the mental emotional aspect and be like, "That woman's anxious." Um, and all of her anxiety, uh, was really driven from the fear that her husband was gonna leave her, and, uh, she was...

**Unknown:** had so much anxiety, uh, driven behind this. And starting out, hence, you know, meeting her where she was at, um, I start every process slightly different. And with her, I usually don't do this 'cause I usually don't, you know... Honestly, it's not that I don't care, um, but the system isn't really designed to have to wanna know a story.

**Unknown:** Um, but I was just kinda curious and I was like, you know, "What has your husband done to make you think that he's gonna leave?" And she, she was trying to give explanations, but she didn't have any solid, any solid basis to it. Mm-hmm. And so I quickly, like, thought in my mind that really what she's created is a story, and the story is paralyzing her, and I didn't know if that was true or not, but that was my perception, and I've been doing the Demartini for a while, so I, I'm not always right. I'm human.

**Unknown:** Um, but luckily, I was. And well, I mean, I asked some questions. Um, but one of the questions, how I figured it out was, you know, and just giving her the opportunity, but I'm like, "When has, you know-... something similar to this happen in your life?

**Unknown:** And she's like, "Well, I've never been married before. Like, this, this hasn't happened." And I was like, "You're fearful of your husband leaving you. Where has there ever been a husband leaving a wife in, in your life? You know, that could be a friends, that could be anything." And she goes, "Well, when I was seven, my..." And she just started bawling and, and bawling.

**Unknown:** And I just let her cry there for a couple of minutes. And when she stopped, she goes, "That door has been locked so long that I didn't even see the connection." So just honestly, just her seeing the connection, I think I probably could have asked her right then, I go, "Are you, are you still nervous about your husband leaving you?" And she probably would've said no, because she knew that that was a story that she created based on the story of her dad not only walking out on her mom, but also walking out on her when she was seven. And she had a lot of stories created behind that. And that's when we look at stories, unbalanced perceptions, that those understanding that energy is not created or destroyed, that cycle is going to show up in many different forms in her life for the opportunity to her to actually collapse that stressor.

**Unknown:** So to her to love whatever she did not love. So really it was the husband that came in and gave her the opportunity for him to judge. But that was really taking her back to go to the first incident with her dad, her mom's husband at the time, to be able to go through and work on that and love and be grateful for that situation. And as we went through and literally saw all the blessings from all the stressings that occurred, literally at the end of it, I was like...

**Unknown:** And she still hadn't talked to her dad since she was seven. And I was like, "Well, did you miss anything from him walking out?" And she's like, "No, everything was there." Like, "Would you change it? Would you ask him to come back if you could talk to him today, would you?" Like, all this. She's like, "My life is good.

**Unknown:** I don't need to change anything. And I'm gonna go home and..." This is funny. She's like, "I'm gonna go home and apologize to my husband for literally, like, being standoffish." She's like, "I didn't treat him like shit, but, like, you know, I wasn't being lovey-dovey because I was... Like, I just created a stupid story." Yeah.

**Unknown:** And I go, "Well, we have some more work to do." And we did work on that. I go, "I would like to challenge you to not go home and say sorry to your husband, because if you're sorry to him, you're still holding onto some guilt, um, possibly some shame in there for acting a certain way." When we go through and we really neutralize something, the whole everything connected to it, there's never anything that you need to say sorry, because that's still being associated with more drawbacks than benefits. When we can actually to God see that there is an equal amount of benefits as well as drawbacks, we don't need to ask for forgiveness. We don't need to say we're sorry.

**Unknown:** N- none of those are relevant. All there is is gratitude, grace, and love. And that's the beauty of the story, um, that she had told herself, was to get her to just love herself. So that was, uh, a brief overview of that case study.

**Unknown:** If I went into the depths of it, uh, I was excited about it, 'cause I probably could have got some tears from the crowd. Um, it was a good story. But really this is the first time, uh, definitely. Um, it can be difficult to do on your own.

**Unknown:** Um, I know that. But as always, I love self-empowerment. So take the questions that you saw earlier. You know, you have that pen and the paper, and when we're done, like, give yourself some time or set some time to go through and go back in the moment.

**Unknown:** You know, see where there was benefits, where there was drawbacks, or see where there was drawbacks, where there were benefits. Uh, go through and see the ownership. Uh, see the difference where you've been calm. See the difference where you've been happy in that same moment so that you can free yourself of being really a victim, uh, to all these unbalanced perceptions, uh, that's created havoc and pain in our life.

**Unknown:** Uh, so thank you so much, uh, for joining us this time. We have a little, little time for questions. Looks like I'd say a good question that came through was, um, someone who's dealt with anxiety, Dr. Nick, and they're, you know, been on medications, they've seen therapists, but, you know, they feel, you know, they're not quite ready to, you know, take that leap.

**Unknown:** What's a good piece of advice you would give that person who's kinda teetering on the edge of taking that leap into, like, going to work through their anxiety with Demartini Method? As in... I mean, when looking at taking a, a leap, like I said, it's we need to, we need to make a concrete decision, um, because that's the only thing that's really gonna serve us. Um, when our, when our foot's half in and half out, we're not committed.

**Unknown:** So, um, if we don't take action and fail, it doesn't really hurt very much. Um, so that's a- that's- it's- I've been there, uh, in aspects of my life and it's, um, every... Now it's I've learned the lesson enough times that I really, I'm kind of an all in or, or not. Uh, because I understand that if I'm going to serve myself, I need to give all of myself to serve myself.

**Unknown:** And if I'm not going to, probably the reason I'm not going to is that either I... It's, I mean, it comes down to clarity. Um, because if we don't have enough clarity on something of what it's, how, what the end result's going to be, um, that's what's going to create that fear that really keeps us, uh, from going full in. Um, so I would say first, you know, write down what you're not clear on.

**Unknown:** Um, you know, it's like if it's the Demartini Method or something else, like, you know, write down your hesitations and then be able to look at them and see, you know, is this the truth? Is this a possibility?How can I change? Like, 'cause it, it could be very important feedback, um, that you're giving yourself. Um, I could be a con artist.

**Unknown:** Like, you, you never know any of these things. So you have to go through and, like, look at your worries. I'm not a con artist. Uh, you have to go through and look at these things, um, to be able to really see through objective lens i- is there any, you know, basis behind this?

**Unknown:** Yeah. And how much energy, if there is. And, like, go through objectively, and once you go through and you answer all those to serve yourself what's according to what's most important to you, then you'll have more clarity. And, and clarity, when we have clarity, we have confidence.

**Unknown:** And whether, even if that's confidence going to, you know, this may be scary, this may be painful, this may be challenging, but I have confidence that the, at the end of it, is going to allow me to really be the person that I, I desire to be. Um, and that's, sometimes it's, I don't really say blind faith. Um, I don't think anybody should take blind faith in doing something. Um, that usually doesn't end out too well.

**Unknown:** Um, but yeah, it's, it's, it's doing research. Uh, it's going through and collecting, um, like I said, just more of those data points, uh, to be able to give a, not a, a subjective emotional reaction on something, uh, based on, you know, maybe something told us or, uh, something that we experienced in the past. Um, but really to be able to get into the, the truth, uh, and the facts of science to be able to answer those questions. Yeah.

**Unknown:** And then the second part, not to get too long. Um, I know all of my everything has tangents today. Uh, but not knowing your specific case, it could be emotional, but there's also other drivers, um, of things that bio, you know, biomechanically, uh, can alter the, the brain function. Uh, biochemically can be off altering the brain function.

**Unknown:** Uh, so I mean, I love the emotional part because it's, it's the first literally aspect of what creates our lives. But at the same time, if, if our body's been through a lot of wear and tear and a lot of that imbalance for a long time, uh, like I talked about earlier, that changes our neural, uh, actual processing. It changes our biochemical processing. So sometimes we have to go through and support those systems as well.

**Unknown:** Um, as well as, you know, working on the true cause because we don't wanna just, you know, fix an effect, and then we never actually worked on that cycle, the creation of it. Yeah. So a year later we have to deal with the same thing again. That's not the goal.

**Unknown:** Thank you so much again, uh, for, you know, being a part of this, staying to the very end. I know we went over a little bit. Um, but yes, thank you in our deepest hearts. Bye, guys.

**Unknown:** We thank you for being a listener and subscriber to Integrative Wellness Radio. If you're looking to learn more about Integrative Wellness Group, as well as Dr. Nick or Dr. Nicole, you can check out integrativewellnessgroup.com.

**Unknown:** All night, no sleep. 'Cause I feel like I'm always dreaming. Wide awake, that's okay

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