Comfort or Growth? Choose Your Challenge Wisely
Episode 290
In this episode, Dr. Nicole and Dr. Nick unpack what it really means to “choose your challenge wisely” in your health, family, and business. They share a real-life story of a family navigating a child’s “incurable” diagnosis and contrast the challenge of doing deep, integrative work with the hidden challenge of staying in the conventional, band-aid model. They call out how distraction culture, social media, and living by everyone else’s “shoulds” pull you away from your true values, your family, and your unique mission—and how reflection, aligned challenge, and inspiration (not desperation) are the real path to a life you actually love. #ChooseYourChallengeWisely #IntegrativeYou #IntegrativeMedicine #FunctionalMedicine #ConsciousParenting #GenerationalHealth #ValuesDrivenLife #MindBodySpirit #HolisticHealing #HealingJourney #QuantumHealing #NeuroscienceAndHealing #HealthIsWealth #LegacyLiving #IntentionalLiving #InspirationOverDesperation #DistractionDetox #FamilyFirstLeadership #HighPerformanceMoms #EntrepreneurHealth 3 Key Takeaways: You can’t escape challenge—only choose which one you’re willing to live with. Medication and band-aids come with their own set of challenges: behavior issues, neurological inflammation, family disruption, more diagnoses down the line. Doing the deeper integrative work is also a challenge—but it’s the one that actually moves you toward a healthy child, a healthy body, and a healthy family dynamic. Life expands when your challenge is connected to your highest values. When the pain and effort are tied to what matters most—your kids, your health, your mission, your freedom—the challenge becomes inspiring instead of draining. If you’re constantly complaining, procrastinating, and feeling “over it,” you’re probably working on the wrong challenge or you haven’t connected it to what’s truly important to you. Distraction is stealing your clarity, your presence, and your legacy. Living on social media, comparing your life, your business, or you
Topics: challenge, integrative, family, health, unknown, choose, values, medicine
Key takeaways from this episode
- ## Comfort or Growth? Choose Your Challenge Wisely
- Challenge is inevitable; the real choice lies in selecting the challenge that aligns with your desired future.
- Conventional treatments, while seemingly offering ease, can introduce their own complex set of challenges, from behavioral issues to neurological impact.
- The pursuit of integrative health, though requiring more effort, offers a more direct route to genuine well-being for individuals and families.
- Aligning your challenges with your core values transforms effort into inspiration, making the journey feel purposeful rather than draining.
Pull quotes
This is the place where you become limitless. **Unknown:** We are covering the latest and greatest topics, of course, in a disruptive fashion, around integrative medicine, mental health, and human behavior.
We will be sprinkling in some truth bombs for our healthpreneurs so they can join us in our mission to evolve healthcare.
If you are health curious and growth focused, you are in the right place. **Unknown:** But buckle up, because this is real, this is raw, and this is disruptive.
Transcript
**Unknown:** Welcome to Integrative U Radio, hosted by Dr. Nick Carruthers and yours truly, Dr. Nicole Rivera. This is the place where you become limitless.
**Unknown:** We are covering the latest and greatest topics, of course, in a disruptive fashion, around integrative medicine, mental health, and human behavior. We are also covering how those topics affect the human and family dynamics. We will be sprinkling in some truth bombs for our healthpreneurs so they can join us in our mission to evolve healthcare. If you are health curious and growth focused, you are in the right place.
**Unknown:** But buckle up, because this is real, this is raw, and this is disruptive. This is Integrative U Radio. What's up, everyone? Dr.
**Unknown:** Nicole and Dr. Nick here this time. I had my two solos, you know, as we've been navigating the chaos of two children and, uh- ... you know, all that fun stuff.
**Unknown:** So, uh, we are bringing you a short, sweet, and heated topic. Uh, this is actually something that I was sharing with Dr. Nick this morning around a conversation we had, and, uh, the theme is choose your challenge. Wisely.
**Unknown:** Wisely. And I'll give you the, the backstory, which will, you know, kind of lead into just some of the highlights and, and words of wisdom that we have for you. But working with a family, uh, one of the kids is struggling with pretty significant health issues, um, you know, based on conventional medicine, an incurable condition. And, you know, the conversation was opened up because this, this world of integrative medicine is all very, very, very new to this family.
**Unknown:** Um, they have not necessarily embarked on doing any type of, um, you know, detox, healthy eating, et cetera, which is not our average clientele. Usually, a lot of our clients have dabbled, and now they're looking for a more integrative and comprehensive approach. Um, so but these people were aligned in different ways and we said, "Okay, let's, you know, let's see what we can do." Um, so we're very well aware that a lot of what we're introducing to them is very foreign and very new, but they're still very open-minded. But the natural question that happens, and this is even for people that are seasoned in the fu- world of functional medicine, integrative medicine, and not, is, you know, "How, how long am I gonna do this?" Like, how long will I, you know, do these types of protocols or use certain detox therapies or supplements?
**Unknown:** And, you know, will I ever get to a place where I don't need any of it? And it, it sparked kind of a two-part conversation. But the first part of the conversation was, in this current moment, like, let's just talk about the now, let's talk about the present, is that you need to choose your challenge. Because no matter what you choose, there's challenges.
**Unknown:** I go, "You chose the challenge that is gonna be more likely to yield a better outcome. You chose to do things that are out of your knowledge base and comfort zone, from administering different types of red light infrared lymphatic detox therapies with your child to, you know, making smoothies and putting different supplementation in there to help with recovery." You know, y- you're doing mindset work, not only as your child, but also the parents are doing mindset work. Like, this is all a bit of a challenge. It's all new.
**Unknown:** It's outside of the comfort zone. And, and it was also not something that the parents sought out for themselves, they're doing it for their child, which is also a, a bit of a different scenario. And so I said, "I understand that this is all challenging, but the challenge is to yield the outcomes that you desire, which is having a healthy child and a healthy family dynamic." I go, "So you could also choose a different challenge, which is rely on medication. But the challenge that you might not be thinking about in, in that context is if you just wanna Band-Aid the situation through the medications, which will never cure, they will only manipulate biochemical levels, you are now creating the opportunity for a different challenge.
**Unknown:** Bad behavior, inability to focus, other diseases that manifest because of the foundational issue continuing to cause more problems. You know, angry child tantrums du- due to neurological inflammation, coming home, disrupting the family dynamic, b- maybe getting pulled out of school because he can't operate, concentrate. Maybe he needs to go to a special type of school where there he has more assistance." Like, choose your challenge, because no matter what you choose, there's going to be a challenge, so you might as well choose the challenge that's gonna lead you down a path of better outcomes. Yeah.
**Unknown:** I think listening to the, the one major theme, hence the title, is people try to live a one-sided life, and they want to live a life of only support, which would be the opposite of challenge. And if you live a support life, which, you know, A, wouldn't really be fun if that's what we had, um-But if you think about it, it's like there would be no growth, and if there's no growth, there's decay. So if you have too much support, even though, like, maybe that's a fantasy we've been sold through social media, through, you know, et cetera, is that life is gonna be easy. And I'm so fucking tired and so stressed, and I'm burnt out, and I can't...
**Unknown:** don't... it's not that I can't. I say I can't, but then I wake up and I go through it again. So you can.
**Unknown:** I don't wanna do it again, like, Groundhog's Day over and over and over. It's just like, I'm over this challenge. Well, great. Be over that challenge because that challenge isn't inspiring.
**Unknown:** That challenge is beating you down. Yep. We live in a world of duality. We're always gonna have support and we're always gonna have challenge, but the challenge is perceived greater than the support when it doesn't serve us.
**Unknown:** Mm-hmm. And that's the wise part of the title, choose your challenge wisely, is you can't escape challenge, but... and even if it serves you, what's most important to you, it's connected to your top values, it can still be very challenging. It can still be very painful.
**Unknown:** But as long as that pain and as long as that challenge is connected to what's most important to you, then it's inspiring. And that takes me to, you said incurable. Mm-hmm. Incurable, well, if you break it down, the cure is within.
**Unknown:** Mm-hmm. It's not externally. You're not taking a medicine, and you're not doing these things. You're not taking...
**Unknown:** I mean, even to get really to the depths of it, it's like supplements, vitamins, herbs, detox, that's all to support the body, which is great because, you know, a body's a third of what we are, a body, a mind, and a spirit. But those are just tools to serve what we truly are, a soul. Mm-hmm. And we need the challenge, and we need the support to give us feedback through the body, how well it's functioning, through the mind, how balanced it is.
**Unknown:** Through the spirit, are we inspired? Are we, like, uh, feeling gratitude, thankfulness, and love for the opportunities through the challenge and through the support, through the benefits and through the drawbacks that's given to us? Or, and this is... people get caught up to, well, I'm not motivated anymore.
**Unknown:** Well, motivated is an external thing outside of us. And soon as the pain- Yeah. Motivated is rooted in I need to, I have to, I should. Yeah.
**Unknown:** And soon as that pain, guess what, is too big, motivation's not strong enough. Yep. Which just shows you that the challenge isn't connected wisely. It's the wrong challenge, or you haven't connected the dots of how to use the challenge to best serve yourself.
**Unknown:** Hence, your famous quote, "It's not what you do, but how you do it is the most thing, most important." I wanna, I wanna kind of do... I wanna piggyback off of what you said, and then I also wanna give people some really insightful, um, things to think about that will help you understand. Because a lot of times people can listen to this and they're like, "I don't know what's most important to me. I don't know what my values are." And, you know, you have to understand is that if that's your, that's the situation, then, one, you h- have not spent enough time thinking about w- what fucking matters to you.
**Unknown:** Like, you're, you're living a life of probably serving and pleasing a lot of other people, and you're living a life of what you should be and what you should do and what you need to do and what you have to do according to what your parents said, your professor said, your religion said, your society said, your neighbor said, et cetera. So- And, and I'm gonna... one more thing, because that's all true, but we also live in a world today where it's just distraction, distraction, distraction. Yes.
**Unknown:** You know? It's like if there's any free moment, you know, now you're on your phone and you go right to social media, or you're looking at texts, or you're checking emails, or you're like, there's always something to be doing. People don't fucking realize, like, how this is fucking us up in such a giant, giant capacity. And it's like we're business owners, and we've felt compelled, like, you ha- we have to be on social media.
**Unknown:** We have to be on every platform. We have to do this. We have to do that. And it's like, you don't have to do shit.
**Unknown:** Um, even if you wanna run a business, the most successful businesses are the ones that are built on trust and reputation, and it's not built off of your social media following. But it's like we get fed this lie that you have to be on it, which is, in my opinion, all part of an agenda to keep us super fucking distracted. Because if you're playing the game of always looking at what's happening around you, what's happening in your industry, what are the other families doing, what do they have, how do they celebrate their holidays, then you're always... y- you have...
**Unknown:** you're so out of touch with what actually matters to you, to your family, to your business, to your mission and purpose in the world because you're so fucking distracted by what other people are doing. And it just, it doesn't matter. It's gonna keep you so trapped, and it's gonna keep you out of your uniqueness, and it's gonna keep you so far away from the, the impact you can truly make on your family and on the world. When I played that game of, oh, what's my competition doing?
**Unknown:** Market research. I wasn't able to be who I am. I wasn't able to speak my truth. I wasn't able to cur- wasn't able to curate a company according to what I wanted it to be, which actually is different, which will then stand out amongst others.
**Unknown:** Yeah. And so it's just, the distraction is so significant, and we're, we're putting these phones and these tablets and these computers in front of kids at such young ages. And, you know, for those of you that are in your late 30s, 40s, and, and upward, like, you remember the days, you remember the days when, you know, you, you-If you weren't, if you didn't, if you had one TV in the house and it was in the living room and mom and dad were using it, there was nothing to fucking do. There was no distraction of a video game or a phone or anything, so you went out, you socialized, you connected with people, you created fucking memories.
**Unknown:** What kid, when they're 50 years old, is gonna be like, "My best memory is when I played that video game and I won"? Like, uh, that's not, like, that's not what they're remembering. They're remembering, you know, their friends and the wild shit that they did and when they got in trouble, and they're remembering, uh, you know, family events that were awesome. And it doesn't mean that you have to take your kids on vacations that are multi-thousands of dollars.
**Unknown:** Some of the best memories can be sitting around a bonfire laughing until you pee your pants. So- You know, last, last- ... th- listen to my last podcast that I did ... well, last night, you know, the...
**Unknown:** We don't do it every night, but we try to go through and everybody says what they're grateful for most part of the night. Yeah. And, you know, I had in mind what I was gonna say, but then it changed because out of nowhere you, like, rung the doorbell- Yeah. Oh ...
**Unknown:** of Quentin's belly button. And his laugh was so hysterical that- ... you can't, you cannot experience joy in that moment listening to that laugh. And that was like, well, that reset my, my, uh, my answer of the best moment of my day, what am I most grateful for.
**Unknown:** It was- And it, it's funny that- ... just his laughter ... you say this because I think that this is gonna really circle everything together. So for those of you that have known us for a long time, we had a very large brick-and-mortar business in New Jersey.
**Unknown:** It was 6,000 square feet. You know, at our peak we had 25 employees. We had hundreds of different clients coming through our doors. And, you know, there's probably still a lot of you that knew that version of us that are like, "Why did they do what they did?
**Unknown:** Why did they close the brick-and-mortar? Why did they move to Italy? Why do they have this new, um, you know, virtual, uh, telehealth, you know, concierge model?" And, and the catalyst was our son. And the main thing was that I kept thinking about how I didn't wanna be the parent that wasn't present because I was so overwhelmed and distracted by the stressors and the energy demands of the business, because the energy demands of the business were very big, the energy needed to, you know, be the leader of the company and lead my employees, the energy to being the best doctor I could be to all of my clients, and I gave my energy to all of those important things.
**Unknown:** And then when I started a family, I knew that I didn't want to not be able to ding-dong my kid's belly button because I was so distracted thinking about all the shit that I needed to do. And our daughter is awake, so she's gonna probably join us. She's just chilling right now. So a couple of things that I want you, y- you guys to really think about is life is not easy, but life is also not hard.
**Unknown:** It doesn't have to be hard. Because exactly what we were talking about, and I think Dr. Nick and I said it in two different ways, is that if you're embarking on hard, but it's for your ideal outcome of what you want your life to look like, then you have the energy and the inspiration to keep fucking going. It's, it's worth it.
**Unknown:** And that sounds simple, but, like, just think about the word worth. Either something has a shit-ton of value to or it doesn't. Mm-hmm. So if that obstacle, if that challenge, it has extreme worth, it's your gold, well, guess what?
**Unknown:** You're not gonna stop because it's worth it. Yep. If, if you're gonna just sit and complain and nag and have a million excuses, well, the challenge actually doesn't have the amount of worth connected to it. And the fun thing is, is that on the human behavior side you can change the mind's perception to increase your relationship with worth, with something's value, and/or you can decide that's not worth it and create a new challenge and connect...
**Unknown:** 'Cause the pain's gonna be... Pain doesn't leave us, and connect the challenge, connect the pain to something that actually is worth it. So it's just- And it- ... constantly taking life as a feedback mechanism- Yes ...
**Unknown:** and reevaluating. But that's the... Not to cut you off one more time, but, but that's, when we have those pauses in life and the space, that's, in history, when we have time to reflect, we have time to think. Yeah.
**Unknown:** There's, there's no reflection time, there's no thinking time anymore, and for most people it's- Reactivity ... only when they, when they meditate. And meditation's so hard because the brain's not e- ever trained to self-reflect because you're constantly checking social media and everything else. Yes.
**Unknown:** And I think that the, the biggest thing that I've, I've learned over my 40 years is challenge... Life is a series of challenges to learn from and to grow from. And exactly what you just said is if you look at it from the perspective of all these things are happening to me, my life is very unfortunate, I have a series of bad luck, it's a, it's a fucking lie. That's not, that's not what's happening.
**Unknown:** It's a feedback mechanism to tell you where you need to reroute, where you need to redirect, where you need to realign. And so reacting to your challenges is just making the problem so much fucking bigger and so much fucking worse. If you look at whatever it is as this is just a simple redirection, this pain that I'm experiencing is redirecting me to a different path, and you have enough time to really think it throughThat's where the magic is gonna happen. And if you want a simple tool is if you think about the things that you, you do or embark on that give you energy, even in your most tired moments, that...
**Unknown:** And you can-- maybe these are hobbies that you have. Maybe these are creative things that you have. Maybe you have a Pinterest board where you go and you design, you know, your perfect new house or your perfect new living room, or, you know, these are, are little, like, side projects that you do. Things that you would do for free, AKA no one would ever have to pay you for, because you just love it.
**Unknown:** You love it so much. And you have to think about those things. Those are the things that are l- that are, are rooted in inspiration for you, and those are the things that are going to lead you down a path of starting to curate the life that you really, really love. Because you're l- you're more in an energy of, "I'm doing things out of inspiration," opposed to doing all the things that, "I need to, should to, have to," which is all rooted in des- desperation.
**Unknown:** So really start to think about those things. And listen, you're not gonna think about it for 24 hours, and then you're gonna be like, "Oh my God, I have my life figured out." We, we have this practice that we think about these things every single day, and we've been doing it for years now, and we have new insights that help to... I don't wanna say redirect, but it helps to shift the direction of, of where we're going, and it helps us- Just evolution. 100%.
**Unknown:** And it gives us a little bit more clarity around what we're working for or what we're working towards. And you know, sometimes even our team that we currently have, they're-- they know us so well now, and they know that it's part of, of the process, but it's like some people are like, "We just wanna focus on one thing and, and just go on that." And I'm like, "But that's not how life works." You don't just, you know, right now say, "This is my end point," and it never shifts again. Because guess what? You shift as a person.
**Unknown:** The, the environment shifts, society shifts, economy shift, everything shifts. So it requires you to also shift and pivot at certain times. So it's, it's an, an ever-evolving process. So the biggest takeaways is understand that life is a series of challenges.
**Unknown:** It's not... Life is not meant to just be easy. Life is a series of challenges, but those challenges are there to help you learn, gain wisdom, and grow from it, and to redirect your life in a life that is le- is more rooted in inspiration instead of desperation of all the things you should, need to, have to. Amen, girl.
**Unknown:** And I will say that the last podcast that I did solo really ties into everything we're talking about, so if you really vibe with this one, and you want a little different perspective or even more tools, go listen to the podcast that we just posted, um, about why people actually hit plateaus in their healing process, even honestly in their business process, um, and how to overcome them. All right, guys, we'll see you on the next one. We thank you so much for being an avid listener of Integrative U Radio, formerly known as Integrative Wellness Radio. We appreciate all of your support.
**Unknown:** We love your comments. Please visit us on social media as well as our website to see all of the fun things happening behind the scenes, and the new amazing content and courses that is being rolled out on a monthly basis. We hope to see you there.
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About Integrative You Radio
Integrative You Radio is a root cause medicine and integrative medicine podcast hosted by Dr. Nicole Rivera and Dr. Nick Carruthers — two integrative doctors who build personalized wellness protocols from your DNA, minerals, hormones, gut, and nervous system rather than from a population template. Looking for an integrative doctor who reads your labs together instead of in isolation? This is the show.
Further reading
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