Caretaker BS: Why You Can’t Save Anyone But Yourself [Part 1]
Episode 278
In this first part of a 3-part series, Dr. Nicole and Dr. Nick get real about the emotional rollercoaster of being a caretaker during a family health crisis. Using the personal story of Nicole’s mother’s hemorrhagic stroke, they unpack the truth behind the “caretaker” instinct, the dangers of swooping in to save, and the real power of loving someone through their own journey—without losing yourself in the process. This episode is a no-BS look at the intersection of family, health, emotional triggers, and the generational patterns that shape how we show up in crisis. #IntegrativeYou #CaretakerTruths #FamilyHealing #GenerationalHealth #MindBodyMedicine #HealthAdvocate #InspiredLiving #ConsciousCare #BreakingPatterns #HolisticHealth 3 Key Takeaways: You can’t save someone who isn’t ready to be saved. True healing starts with the individual’s choice, not your desperation to fix them. Caretaking from desperation fuels resentment and drains everyone. Showing up from inspiration and love—not fear—creates real support and growth for both parties. Family health crises expose generational patterns and force accountability. The energy you bring (fear or empowerment) directly impacts the healing environment, and sometimes the best thing you can do is step back and let others own their journey. Quotes: “You can’t save anyone. It’s not your job. It’s not your journey. The best thing you can do is love them where they are.” “Nothing good comes out of desperation. You need to calm your system and support from inspiration, not fear.” Find Integrative You Radio On: Website Youtube Apple Spotify 2 Doctors Committed to Innovating the Healthcare Experience. Integrative You Radio is hosted by husband-and-wife duo, Dr. Nicole Rivera and Dr. Nick Carruthers. With their voracious curiosity for Integrative Medicine, the Human Mind, Aligned Parenting, and Entrepreneurship, they bring a fresh perspective to the table. They aim to debunk the BS that is holding you back in your health, your rela
Topics: unknown, family, health, integrative, save, nicole, journey, healing
Key takeaways from this episode
- ## Caretaker BS: Why You Can’t Save Anyone But Yourself [Part 1]
- True healing is an individual journey; you cannot force it upon someone else.
- Attempting to save others from a place of desperation often leads to resentment and burnout.
- The energy you bring (fear-based or empowered) significantly influences the healing environment.
- Generational patterns in families are often brought to the surface during health crises, demanding accountability.
Pull quotes
This is the place where you become limitless. **Unknown:** We are covering the latest and greatest topics, of course, in a disruptive fashion, around integrative medicine, mental health, and human behavior.
We will be sprinkling in some truth bombs for our healthpreneurs so they can join us in our mission to evolve healthcare.
If you are health curious and growth focused, you are in the right place, but buckle up, because this is real, this is raw, and this is disruptive. **Unknown:** This is Integrative U Radio.
Transcript
**Unknown:** Welcome to Integrative U Radio, hosted by Dr. Nick Carruthers and yours truly, Dr. Nicole Rivera. This is the place where you become limitless.
**Unknown:** We are covering the latest and greatest topics, of course, in a disruptive fashion, around integrative medicine, mental health, and human behavior. We are also covering how those topics affect the human and family dynamics. We will be sprinkling in some truth bombs for our healthpreneurs so they can join us in our mission to evolve healthcare. If you are health curious and growth focused, you are in the right place, but buckle up, because this is real, this is raw, and this is disruptive.
**Unknown:** This is Integrative U Radio. Hey, everyone. Welcome back to another episode of Integrative U Radio. We got Dr.
**Unknown:** Nick, Dr. Nicole here, and we are gonna get weird. Hmm. It's ...
**Unknown:** Well. I'm feeling it today. Yes, you are. I was like- Nothing's weird ...
**Unknown:** get in your room ... nothing's weird. Get on Zoom now. Let's do this.
**Unknown:** I'm used to being bossed around, so let's go. Um, well, you know, I just was reporting at breakfast this morning that, like, you know, the world of conventional medicine will never not make me rage, even though I'm on this journey to really, you know, balance myself and enlighten myself. And I said, "Well, I guess I'll see your rage in your next life," because- ... you're not learning the lesson.
**Unknown:** So anyway, we're gonna help you to gain clarity from recent experiences. Um, so, um- What's fueling your rage, Dr. Nicole? What's fueling your rage?
**Unknown:** Oh, tha- thank you so much for asking. Um, so n- on a, on a serious side note, um, we've had some unfortunate events, uh, that have unfolded over the past few weeks, uh, with family. So my mom personally had a hemorrhagic stroke. Um, you know, we, we hoped that the day never came, but unfortunately, when you observe family members that aren't necessarily taking an interest in their health, and even though they have accessibility to what Nick and I do, um, you know, just not taking advantage of that, because, you know, it's their journey and, and they're not ready and all of the other reasons.
**Unknown:** So based off of what we knew in her case, you know, we knew that essentially she was a bit of a ticking time bomb, and of course, we hoped nothing would ever happen, but shit happens sometimes. But I think that one point to take away is that strokes don't just happen to people. They're not bad luck. They're not bad genes.
**Unknown:** There is a series of things that are going on inside of the body for an extended amount of time, and the stroke happens when there is the one thing that essentially is the straw that broke the camel's back. And there's a tipping point. And this is not just with a stroke. We actually talk about this a lot with our clients.
**Unknown:** You know, "I felt fine, and then all of a sudden I didn't," "I was fine, and then all of a sudden I had Type 1 diabetes," "I was fine, and then all of a sudden I had panic attacks." And it's not that you were fine. Most of what you experienced was your, quote-unquote, "normal," and there was something that was the t- that tipped you over the tipping point. And sometimes that is a stressful event, an emotional event. Sometimes that is a specific toxin, it's an injury, it's a car accident, it's a, you know, sporting accident.
**Unknown:** It could be so many things. But in the event of navigating this situation, um, you know, the first people that were called when this happened was Nick and I. And my dad was like, "I think your mom had a stroke. What do I do?" And of course, we didn't have a- we were not there.
**Unknown:** We did not have data. We didn't ha- didn't have the opportunity to get there quickly. And we said, "You know, we need to be safe. You need to go to the hospital," because if it is a hemorrhagic, 'cause we didn't know that at the time, there, you know, there could be serious problems if there's a bleed in the brain.
**Unknown:** And so we felt that that was the best option, going to the hospital. We also knew that there was going to be a lot of other layers to navigate. And we said, you know, "We will be here on call to assist in this process." So we wanna talk to you about why we, one, need an advocate when we are in a hospital emergency situation, or we need to be our own advocate. And I say both because you don't just, you don't just say, "Oh, tomorrow I'm gonna be my own advocate." You don't have the, the tools or the knowledge base yet.
**Unknown:** So you essentially have to dedicate time and energy to be able to be knowledgeable enough in order to be your own advocate. Otherwise, you have people that are experts in this field, like us, that are your advocate. Um, because there's a lot of shit that happens that you don't know about, and there's a lot of shit that happens that they don't necessarily ask for your consent. They're not necessarily asking, "Oh, d- do you approve this medication or not?" They assume you don't know shit.
**Unknown:** So we're gonna get into that. But- I think today I'm just gonna ask questions and just fucking get you, your, your rage out today. So I'm gonna a- start asking questions. I know you still telling the story- Okay.
**Unknown:** Go, go ... but I'm gonna ask questions. Go, let's do, let's do the thing. So you initially...
**Unknown:** Actually, I wanna go all the way back, um-So you said unfortunately, initially, that things happened I knew you were gonna call me out on that. And I got my... I'm taking notes here. Eh, it's what I do.
**Unknown:** I listen to people's verbiage and body language all day. So th- this is the, the part of what fuels your rage, and I think we're gonna, like, name this, you know, Nicole's rage against the medical system. Uh, and you- Uh-huh ... you said it was unfortunate.
**Unknown:** And, you know, you could look at it and say it was unfortunate to your mom that she had this, but you said, you know, she had the opportunity. She didn't use it. Yes. It's unfortunate for your dad that he's has to drop everything for the most part in his life right now, and he's a primary caretaker.
**Unknown:** Primary caretaker, yeah. It's unfortunate for you and, you know, your brother and sister that now they're deterred from their families, their lives, their work, and they're all now having to be a part of navigating this. And this, this is such a, a common practice because it's a common belief in all of our society. You know, every- Yeah ...
**Unknown:** everybody goes through this, and this is why I actually wanted to go back to this point. It seems like a small thing, but if, if we can't figure out the blessing in the stressing, everybody's fucked. It's unfortunate for everybody. So one of the f- primary things is...
**Unknown:** And this is... We'll get deeper in this as we go because if you can use this- Mm-hmm ... you're a portion of your mom, so you actually helping to heal from this event, which is directly tied to your mom, that change in your genetic expression is actually going... energy flows bi-directional.
**Unknown:** It's going to flow backwards up to help her have more potential, more of an opportunity to heal herself. Mm-hmm. And that's- And we're not- ... the only way we can heal.
**Unknown:** That's the truly only way we can help. We're, we're programmed, and we're taught through society that, you know, we need to, to help through physically being there, through being the caretaker, and all those things are beneficial. But the truly only way we can help somebody is by healing ourselves. Mm-hmm.
**Unknown:** And that- Mm ... actually allows for healing to occur in others. Yeah. I, I 100% agree, and the, the thing about th- this...
**Unknown:** I, I actually... For those of you that are like, "Okay, what are w- where are we going with this?" We're breaking this down. It was gonna be two parts. Now it's gonna be three parts based off of these questions that Nick is asking because I think, one, we need to have a, a serious conversation about this idea of swooping in to save someone and being a caretaker.
**Unknown:** I think that we also need to talk about the level of, um, heightened emotions that can come along with, with this, and one of the avenues that we're gonna talk in depth about is a panic attack, um, and how they can actually be exactly what the body needs in that moment and be beneficial. And then the other part of this is understanding what's actually happening inside of hospital settings and how can you fucking navigate that in the best fashion possible to help the person that is under direct care. That's really the three, the three parts as of r- in this moment that I want to talk about. So I think we need to talk more about the caretaker part, and then we're gonna break this down into two other podcasts to continue the conversation.
**Unknown:** So the normal n- I don't wanna say the normal me. The old version of me, the I wanna save everyone. This was not just about family. This has been hence the field that I'm in.
**Unknown:** I was of the mindset I wanna save people. And- That's why she married me ... I needed saving. You're kind of not wrong.
**Unknown:** Look at you now. You're great. I'm per- I'm perfect. Um, and I couldn't do that.
**Unknown:** You know, I, I... And don't get me wrong. If I was in South Carolina still and not in Italy, there's probably... It would've been easy to just swoop right in and get to that hospital and do all the things and be her s- you know, ride or die advocate, but I couldn't.
**Unknown:** I'm in Italy. My visa is not f- solidified. Like, I ca- I can't get on a plane. And what's kind of interesting is that, and I feel like some of you maybe have had this experience, is that I said about, uh, I would say, what, was it a week in?
**Unknown:** I said to my dad, I go, "I don't want this to sound bad, but if I got on a plane and brought my two-month-old baby and my entire family over to the US to, quote-unquote, save mom, help mom, I'd be fucking pissed right now." And the reason I said that is because she was like, "Leave me alone. Don't bother me. I don't wanna be touched." And this is not necessarily... Because we were trying to weigh out, is this neurological damage from the stroke or not?
**Unknown:** And it wasn't. It was just behavioral. And I said to my dad, I go, "Has she been..." Like, because obviously when I talk to her on the phone, there's a, there's a certain face that I see. There's a certain behavior that I, that I experience.
**Unknown:** And he goes, "No. Th- this is the way she always is." He's like, "She's just... You know, she's not gonna act like that to you on the phone, but this is the way she is on a regular basis." And I sent over, you know, $1,000 worth of s- worth of supplements and put 'em all in a smoothie. She didn't wanna drink the smoothie.
**Unknown:** She didn't wanna take the supplement. She didn't wanna do the f- the red light. She didn't wanna do anything. And I was just like, you know, imagine spending multi-thousands of dollars bringing a two-month-old on a plane for 10 hours and then getting there to someone who's like, "I don't wanna fucking do anything you want me to do." You know, and, and this, this is...
**Unknown:** So a person, a family member, that swoops in as like, "I'm gonna help, I'm gonna save, I'm gonna be the caretaker," you go through this, like, anxiety, worry, and then you, you even go through grief because you're like, "What if this person dies? What if something really bad happens?"And then you don't feel any level of appreciation for what you're doing at times, and then you move into anger and resentment. And so now you're putting... You're compromising yourself, putting yourself in a bad emotional state.
**Unknown:** And especially if you're trying to be a caretaker for someone who is a direct link to your DNA, a parent, a grandparent, a sister, a brother, you guys are entangled. You share similar DNA. And so you are actually perpetuating and fueling the, the process to go in a negative direction if you feel like shit, if you're in a bad emotional state. Because, again, there is an entanglement.
**Unknown:** There's an entanglement energetically, emotionally, and actually scientifically based on the DNA. A lot of things. I think I'm gonna pause 'cause Nick's gotta have something to say. I think you made a good point.
**Unknown:** I just wanna make it more, um, I guess black and white for people, is like, we, we go usually into this emotional response, and that emotional response is, "I'm going to over-save. I'm gonna go above and beyond and try to save." Mm-hmm. Well, taking a pause and like, why does one act like that? And it's to counterbalance the equal and opposite responses 'cause there's a perceived of an over amount of loss that can occur.
**Unknown:** So if you have an imbalance... And when you think of loss, loss is... The amount of loss that one perceives is connected to the amount of grief one will have. Grief is just the feeling, the feeling that's connected to the thoughts.
**Unknown:** All of our feelings are connected to our thoughts. So if we have a thought process that we're losing something, then we're gonna have grief. If you're not losing something, you're gaining something, there's no grief. So, you know, if you thought it was a blessing for your mom to pass, you, you wouldn't try to save her.
**Unknown:** You, you would actually probably try to speed the process up. Sounds kinda crazy. Um, but that's, that's the menta- That's a second sort of different- Yeah, that's the mentality of psychology. So when you're thinking about the health of one state, you know, grief, shame, guilt, those are the lowest energies that actually break the physical body down the quickest.
**Unknown:** And then if you're overly saving, and the person got to that point in their life because they didn't care. So y- I mean, so you're thinking that you're gonna go in and save them, and they're gonna do all these changes, but why would they change now? Like, that's who they are. You're trying to change who they are.
**Unknown:** Ba- not for them, just so you don't experience loss. So you're actually not... And this is the thing people don't understand- That's a good point ... is you're trying to save them, not for the betterment of them.
**Unknown:** You're trying to save them so you don't have to deal with your grief. Grief. Yeah. Yeah.
**Unknown:** And that sucks. That sucks for everybody because now you're not allowing them to be who they truly are. You're not loving them for who they truly are, and you're actually not allowing yourself to use the opportunity at hand to balance out the mind so the body can be in actually regulation homeostasis, true, authentic self. Well, I think- And that's- Go ahead ...
**Unknown:** and that's why we do need an advocate. Mm-hmm. That's why we do need a coach, you know? You can only...
**Unknown:** I wrote down as like, stress causes blinders, like on a horse. You can't see the full awareness. But at the same time, not having the full awareness is actually what causes stress. Mm-hmm.
**Unknown:** So yeah, you can have a lot of tools, but life is gonna throw you circumstances and moments that are gonna cause stress. And when we're deep in that stress, it's important to at least have the awareness to know that I'm missing awareness. I have a imbalanced perception right now that's actually causing the stress, so I need an advocate. I need a coach.
**Unknown:** I need somebody to help me have more awareness so that I can actually use the tools that I have or teach me tools that I don't have. Yeah, I think that the one thing that we need to take away from this, though, is you can't save anyone. It's... This is not...
**Unknown:** It, it, it is not your job. It is not your journey. It's the person's journey. And so what's kind of interesting about...
**Unknown:** Like, piggybacking off of what you're saying, what's interesting about where the bleed was for my mom, the, the hemorrhagic, um, stroke, it was in the thalamus. If you get into the world of new dramatic medicine, uh, you can... When you have a stroke that specifically affects the part of the brain called the thalamus, this is connected to the limbic center, uh, or the limbic system, and it's actually correlated with the conflict that you've given up on life. You no longer want to live.
**Unknown:** So I obviously expressed this to my dad about, you know, the part of the brain that was affected by the stroke, and he goes, "She's been talking like this leading up to the stroke." And so when you think about, like, what is the reason why somebody wants to give up on life, it's because they have a perceived loss of what is in their current reality. And the other layer to this is... And this is a lot of moms, I think, is that their kids leave, you know? Their kids grow up.
**Unknown:** They leave. They become empty nesters. And it's not that my parents haven't been empty nesters for a long time, but also they... We moved away and, you know, my brother's far away.
**Unknown:** My sister's far away. Their grandkids are far away. And, you know, they're-There was a loss of, of purpose. There was a shift in identity.
**Unknown:** There was, you know, uh, there was something that, um, was hard to digest, hard to process that she was unable to figure out, you know, how do I overcome this, or how do I work through this? Not necessarily that she was looking for those tools, so she got to a point mentally that she's like, "I guess I just have to give up 'cause this is my reality." And this is kind of what I was talking about, this idea that the straw that broke the camel's back, is that you can make an unconscious decision of, "I'm done. I c- I can't do this anymore. What is this life?
**Unknown:** I don't like this life. I don't want this life." And that can be one of the events, one of those unconscious decisions that can be the straw that broke the camel's back that now something shifts in your health. And so, you know, o- one of the things that I think a lot of people need to realize is that she, my mom, has a journey right now. She has a journey to either continue this, this trajectory of giving up on herself, which we will see her further and further and further decline, or she has an opportunity to m- become a victor, uh, to this, to this circumstance.
**Unknown:** And the best thing that myself, Nick, my siblings have done is just to love her in this moment, not think the worst, but be prepared for anything, and just be supportive, loving, and encouraging to her. And we've just been having fun conversations with her, getting her to laugh a little bit. You know, we're very fortunate that she's cognitively there. She's not what she was, but she's okay.
**Unknown:** Um, and she's been shifting, and she then all of a sudden about a week ago said, "All right," t- to my dad, "I'll do the red light. I'll drink the smoothie. I'll take the supplements." And she went from full paralysis on the left side of her body to she can move her left leg now, and she was standing as of two days ago. Um, they're getting her ready to leave the rehab.
**Unknown:** They canceled the chairlift, and they actually recommended canceling the, you know, special bed for, that, you know, will allow her to get in and out, uh, regularly. So the only thing that they're recommending is, uh, a wheelchair, but they actually anticipate that she's not gonna need it long term. Like, that's a lot of progress in one week, and it's, it's because a, a, a switch flipped. Can I- She mentally decided, "I have something to live for." One of the...
**Unknown:** I've weirdly studied death quite a bit, um, started it in undergrad, and it's interesting. What I found is that, like you said, people just wanna be loved. But going back to the saving is most of the time we tend to offer and extend love in the way that we wanna feel it, not necessarily how they wanna feel it. Hence, if we're trying to save somebody, we're trying to change them.
**Unknown:** We're trying to change who they are. And your mom was being what we would say, you know, I even call her, like, a little bit of a stubborn bitch, um, 'cause she wouldn't take the smoothies or the supplements or anything. Mm-hmm. And, you know, optimal growth is a balance of challenge and support.
**Unknown:** So your entire family was giving her a lot of support, and she needed it. You know, she in her mind was all challenge. So that was helping to balance out the equation. But I kind of saw from an outside perspective, especially 'cause I'm not sharing in any of...
**Unknown:** You know, I, I love your mom, but I'm not, you know, interconnected the way you guys are. So I, I lovingly called her out. Uh- Yes ... and, but I did it in a way that was like, "Hey.
**Unknown:** We don't care what you do, but right now you're miserable and you're in pain and you're not happy. And if you wanna stay that way, guess what? We're gonna love you perfectly for staying that way 'cause it's your choice, and we're gonna love you for whatever you do, whoever you are. But if you wanna change and you wanna stop being in pain and stop complaining and stop all of this bullshit, it's you that has to make a choice." Yep.
**Unknown:** "It's you that has to start, you know, drinking the smoothie. Pete can make it for you, but you have to drink it." And that's, that's the best part of what I think family should be doing, is we should be there giving them the opportunity but not forcing. Yeah. And I think that's, that's a hard thing to realize and to do when you're in that emotional state because, you know, most of us, we're, we're so ingrained that we kind of push over and we wanna save 'cause we don't wanna grieve.
**Unknown:** Grieving sucks. But it, it, it's... You won't... The, the interesting part about it is you'll heal and you'll balance your perception when we just love somebody for who they are, and that will actually decrease if not negate the grieving process for you at all 'cause you won't lose anything 'cause you'll be there 100% and love the person 100%, and to be able to acknowledge and receive as well as give 100%.
**Unknown:** There'll be that perfect balance. Mm-hmm. So it actually helps both parties when we show up like that. Yeah.
**Unknown:** You know, and one thing that I just wanna make note of as well is that if Nick and I were readily available, and we, you know, went to the hospital and we were there and partaking in this, in this, um- Nicole would probably be in jail Well, we'll, we'll get to that in the next podcast. Um, but, you know, one of the first things when I was talking to my dad about, you know, the, the Flex Beam and the Amp Coil, and, like, some of the therapies that would be beneficier- beneficial for her neurological recovery, his first response was, "I don't know how to work an Amp Coil." And I was like, "That's your fucking answer right now? Like, really?" Uh, and so this is actually... You know, my, my dad is, uh, he's gonna be, like, in his...
**Unknown:** He's gonna be 70 in, you know, shortly, and he comes from a very different era where, you know, he doesn't know how to cook. Like, he's, you know, the, the woman was the caretaker, and she cooked and she cleaned, and, you know, he went to work, and then he came home. And, uh, you know, he doesn't, he doesn't do laundry, he doesn't cook, he doesn't do any of those things. Um, and he is also like, "I don't...
**Unknown:** Like, I don't know how to do those things." Like, I... He... Like, since my mom's been in the hospital, he was, he's been eating out. He's like, "I'm not gonna learn how to cook right now." Uh, and so he kind of carries that, and he's like, "Well, your mom would always set up the Amp Coil.
**Unknown:** I don't k- I don't know how to use this thing." And I'm like, "Well, fucking learn." And so it's actually been very interesting that he has had this opportunity to go from, uh, disempowered, of, "I don't know how to do this, I don't know how to do this, how do I, I don't know how to do this," and him being totally okay with that response of, "Well, nobody's here to fucking do it for you, so you either step it up, 'cause no one's here to do it for you. Like, we're not coming to do it for you." And so he had to put that belief system, that program, that disempowerment aside, and learn how to, how to do these things, learn how to take care of himself, which now is actually helping my mom, because he's taking self-accountability and self-responsibility for himself because he's been forced to. And so this is something that if sh- if he is, you know, the closest to her, and in her direct, you know, energy field all the time, if he's more empowered, it actually helps her as well. And for those of you that are like, "This sounds crazy," like, it's, this is how it works.
**Unknown:** This is why when you work in a shit environment where there's bad culture, and everybody's talking shit, and everybody hates their job, you feel that. Even if you're like, "I technically like what I do," you, you're not, you don't enjoy waking up and going, going to that place every day. And it's the vice versa. You could literally hate what you actually do, but if you like your coworkers and it's a fun environment, you'll go.
**Unknown:** You'll keep doing it. This is why, you know, people will say, like, "You know, the pay is not that great and the benefits are not that great, but I, but I really like my job," and they stay because it's the environment. And so the same thing happens in family dynamics. It's maybe even more so because you're, you're, you know, you're together for such long amounts of time.
**Unknown:** You sleep in the same bed, et cetera. Um, so these things matter a lot more. You know, for my entrepreneurs that listen, you've probably heard many of the, you know, business coaching gurus say, "You, your wealth will reflect the five people that you spend the most time with." So, you know, if you're the richest one in your, in your friends group and everybody else is, you know, ta- in a scarcity mindset, like, you're, you're plateaued. You're not gonna go any further until you surround yourself with people that are where you wanna be.
**Unknown:** I think this is the perfect gateway to say get excited for the next podcast- Yeah ... because we're gonna talk about being able to actually release, change that environment- Mm-hmm ... and the perceptions that we've been taught on what releasing needs to look like can hold us back. Yes.
**Unknown:** So let's just high-level recap for you guys here. Swooping in, especially if you are in an anxious state of, "Oh, shit, emergency, this is bad," swooping in to save someone, not necessarily going to be beneficial for you, not necessarily beneficial for the person that you are trying to, quote-unquote, save. You need to calm your system down to a place that you feel neutral, and you're going to help them or you're going to be with them out of inspiration because you wanna love them and you wanna support them, not out of desperation, "I need to save them. Holy shit, they're gonna die.
**Unknown:** What if they die? What's gonna happen to the family? What's gonna happen to me? What's gonna happen to us?" You need to shift that.
**Unknown:** This is a check-in that you should be doing in all different parts of your life. Am I in a place of inspiration or am I in a place of desperation? Nothing good comes out of desperation. You cannot force someone to do anything they don't wanna do.
**Unknown:** If this is health-related, someone got to a place, they had the stroke, they had the, the heart attack, they had it for a reason. They had it for a reason because it's part of their journey, and they have an opportunity to learn something from it, and to overcome it, and be better than they ever were, but they also got to that point because they didn't do what they needed to do for themselves. And you're a part of that, quote-unquote, problem, because there's an opportunity for you as well. 100%.
**Unknown:** So we really need to understand that people have to be accountable for the decisions that they made that led them to this, quote-unquote, bad health event. They do not happen for no fucking reason. Like, get out of that mindset that it just happens because, uh, your uncle had it, or, or your, g- you know, it's in the family history. Like, that's not how it works.
**Unknown:** The only reason it's in family history is because there is an energetic, emotional cycle that nobody has been able to break, because they haven't tried to. And so if you can be supportive and loving from a place of inspiration for that person, that's gonna be the best thing. And now it comes to being able to know how to use that place of inspiration, that place of calm, that place of centeredness where you have more mental clarity because you're not in a fear state, and now how do you use that to help you navigate the medical system? That's where we're going next, because this is gonna be a big one.
**Unknown:** Ciao. All right, see you on the next one. Ciao. We thank you so much for being an avid listener of Integrative U Radio, formerly known as Integrative Wellness Radio.
**Unknown:** We appreciate all of your support. We love your comments. Please visit us on social media, as well as our website, to see all of the fun things happening behind the scenes, and the new amazing content and courses that is being rolled out on a monthly basis. We hope to see you there.
Related episodes
About Integrative You Radio
Integrative You Radio is a root cause medicine and integrative medicine podcast hosted by Dr. Nicole Rivera and Dr. Nick Carruthers — two integrative doctors who build personalized wellness protocols from your DNA, minerals, hormones, gut, and nervous system rather than from a population template. Looking for an integrative doctor who reads your labs together instead of in isolation? This is the show.
Further reading
Listen and read the full episode →