Episode 270
Title: Your Outcomes Are Dictated By Your Doctor's Wellbeing
Host: Dr. Nicole Rivera
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Transcription:
Hello everyone. Welcome back to another episode of Integrative U Radio. You never know what you're gonna get at the beginning of this with my tone. Alright, so we are talking about a really interesting topic and I think some of this information is going to click and make total sense and some of it is gonna be like, holy crap, I never thought about it that way, but.
It definitely makes sense. And part of this was stimulated by conversations I was having last week, um, particularly with the software company that we actually use for our, uh, virtual concierge practice. And one of the things that I was talking about with their new affiliate, uh, director is that. A lot of practitioners don't realize that a software can make or break your practice.
And the software really curates the experience for the patient, for the member. We call them members because we consider all of our people an extension of family. And you call your family a family member. We don't like the word patient. Um, also because patients, there is a certain identity of sickness around being a patient.
And if you identify with sickness, you will always be sick. So total derailment, you know, 'cause that's my jam. Um, as I was talking to her, I started thinking about the key things that play a role in health outcomes. Also personal development outcomes. You know, a lot of us are seeking out how to better ourselves in certain ways and, and some of it is because we're experiencing pain.
We're experiencing symptoms. We're experiencing life not being what we want it to be. And so we might be seeking out psychotherapy. We might be seeking out a life coach, we might be seeking out a business coach, we might be seeking out a doctor. And this is all too. Just resolve the symptoms that we have and move our life in the direction that we wanna go.
And as I was thinking about this, I started thinking about, uh, a specific book that I've read by Dr. David Hawkins, which talks about the levels of consciousness. And I'm just gonna make this really, really simple. For those of you that don't know much about this, but there, you know, I think we all can relate to the idea that.
When we are in a certain level of consciousness or we're experiencing certain emotions, we feel good. If we're in a place of looking around and thinking, wow, life is good and there's a lot of good things happening, and I have so much gratitude for the people in my life, or the new job I just landed, or my better health, or we're experiencing joy because we're in a new relationship, or we have a new best friend.
Then on the flip side, there are the emotions that keep us really disempowered. They keep us really debilitated, and this could be fear, anger, rage, grief, shame. I. And so what David Hawkins did is he created a map, uh, literally gave it a numerical value to say, when you are experiencing this emotion, or you are in this level of consciousness, you are at this number versus this number.
And so essentially the, the dummies version of this 200 is, is right in the middle. And if you're above 200, you're in higher vibration. Emotions you are experiencing a higher level of consciousness. So this is where joy and happiness and gratitude and enlightenment live. And then if you're below 200, you're living in more of a state of either fear or grief or shame or, uh.
Anger, rage, et cetera. And what's very interesting about it is that guilt and shame are the lowest vibration emotions on the entire map. And if you think about society and even, you know, aspects of religion, sorry to be controversial, for some of you, um, there's a lot of guilt and shame. There's a lot of guilt and shame in sexuality.
There's guilt in shame around, uh, you know. Who you marry, who you don't do the job, you get this quote unquote, what success should look like. There's a lot of guilt and shaming all around us that we are experiencing and observing since we are very, very little kids. But in the work of David Hawkins, one of the things that he pointed out is that it's actually been proven through a variety of studies.
A patient's outcome is dictated by the level of consciousness of their doctor, and of course, the same exact idea applies to anyone who is service-based. If you are a therapist, if you're a doctor, if you're a coach, your level of consciousness as a service provider. As a coach, as a leader, as a teacher, is going to dictate the outcomes of who you work with.
And then obviously if you are the receiver, if you are the, the client, the member of the patient, you have to really think about this. Because choosing any old person who's in your insurance network, choosing any old person because it's close to your house or because it's more convenient or because it's, you know, it, it's connected to your, your corporate office.
This is not how we should be choosing our service providers. We should be vetting these people because essentially they are going to be shaping. New programs in your mind, they are influencing your belief systems. They're influencing your thoughts, they're influencing your thoughts, they're influencing your beliefs, which is then influencing your outcomes.
It's influencing how you look at life. It's influencing your perception. And you know, I think we need to be very, very, very careful of who we delegate that out to. And we also need to be conscious that this isn't about taking anyone's word as. The gold standard. It's about thought provoking or taking it as thought provoking.
We should be using what we get from either service providers or our external environment in order to allow us to think bigger. And so that's really the whole point of, of coaching or even a doctor relationship, is that I found myself doing so much consulting, okay, this is what to do, and. That's not how it works because every single person is different.
Every single person needs different things. Every single person takes information and, and breaks it down differently and understands it differently. So it's really a matter of me as a service provider, as a practitioner. To ask better questions, to yield more thought provoking answers for that person, to get them to think outside of the box and to come up with what is going to be best for them.
Because what I think is best and what I see as best for someone else is not necessarily best for that person. And so this is the big difference between consulting and coaching. And there are a lot of people saying that they're coaches, but really at the end of the day, they're consultants and they are putting everyone in a box.
Here's the one way to do it, and if you do it this way, then it'll be great. But we all know that's not really how it works. There is no cookie cutter solution for anything, especially health, and especially for personal growth and especially even your business. You know, I found myself. Getting into business coaching with two business degrees, and I realized that I needed to evolve how I wanted to do it.
Because it didn't suit me, taking this model and applying it to people didn't, didn't make sense in my mind because every single person is so different, and it's really about me being the facilitator to ask better questions, to be able to give them the tools to fuse their personal vision. With their business.
Your business is only a catalyst to serve your personal life. If your identity is wrapped up in your business, you have a problem, which I did a whole podcast on because that was very much my situation. My business was an extension of my identity. If anything, it is a period of time. It was my whole identity.
And so the moral of the story is that I'm talking about today. In my experience, oh my gosh, I'm getting old. Four decades, you guys do the math. I have seen many service providers, psychologists, doctors, psychiatrists, life coaches, business coaches, I've seen them get into their industry because they had an issue.
They had an experience, they had a trauma, and it put them on a path to wanna help other people with the same issue, which is great, very, you know, very commendable. But the thing is, is that if they haven't done the deep work and they haven't been committed to the ongoing work. To really overcome that experience, that obstacle, that challenge, and they haven't moved their consciousness up the ladder.
You are going to have issues with your outcomes as a person who is looking to them as a leader, a guide, a doctor, a mentor, a coach. This is something that a lot of us need to take into consideration, and this goes for friends. You know, we, I know that it is a different phase of our lives. We tend to go to certain friends that we know are gonna support us.
But are they supporting us by agreeing with us? Are they supporting us by saying, yeah, you're right. You know, this was a bad situation. This, you are a victim to that person's actions. I. Or should we be actually seeking advice from the person who's gonna challenge the way that we're perceiving the situation?
Someone who's gonna open our eyes to the things that we can't see. That's where the growth is. The growth is not in somebody agreeing with you. The growth is in someone challenging you. And a lot of us are very uncomfortable with that. We're very uncomfortable with the idea of being challenged. We're very uncomfortable with the idea that we're not right, but.
In your mind, you're right, because it's your perception of the situation. That doesn't mean everybody else thinks you're right. That doesn't mean the other person involved thinks you're right. They think they're right. Everybody has a different perception, and this is some of the beauty of the Dr. Dean Martini work is that he is just showing that your reality is shaped by your perceptions.
It's not really what happened to you, it's how you perceive it. So some people will lose their job and they'll perceive it as, this was so bad and this was a really bad thing that happened to me, and this is going to destroy my family, and it's gonna destroy my financial savings. It's going to be such a detriment to my life.
And then there's other people that will look at it as, you know, that job really didn't serve me, and I don't know if I would've quit. I think this happened for a reason, and I know that there's an opportunity coming to me. I just need to be hyper aware of what that opportunity is. And I also, it's time for me to do something that I really wanna do, and so it could be the same situation for two different people, but they look at it completely differently.
You know, and you can call this, oh, some people look at the glass half full, glass, half empty. Yeah, that's fine. But if you wanna look at the glass half empty all the time, that's, that's okay. I think that that is a, it could be a positive response to look at the negative because it's a protective mechanism and you learn from it.
You learn from, I don't wanna experience this pain again, or I want to be more hyper aware of people with these characteristics and behaviors because they're out of alignment with who I am and my core values. That's okay. It doesn't mean it's one sided. Nothing is one sided. There's always another side to it, but it's a matter of, can you see it?
There's no glass half full and glass half empty. It's fucking both. If the water is literally halfway up the glass, that means it's half full and half empty. It's both. So stop looking at one side so that you know, because all you're doing is setting yourself back. If you wanna sit there and, and wallow in the negative, great.
Like, who's coming to fucking save you? No one's coming to fucking save you. You gotta save yourself. It's just like, that is something that is, is a very hard fucking truth for people. It's like nobody cares about you more than you should care about you. No one's coming to save you. Everyone's got their own shit going on.
Everyone's got their own obstacles that they're dealing with, their own challenges, their own personal growth on their own journey. So stop thinking that someone is coming to save you or someone is going to care more about you and your outcomes than you should. And you should also understand that when you hire a practitioner, you need to care more about your outcomes than anyone else.
I realized this as a practitioner. There were a lot of times that I cared more about someone's outcomes than they cared about their outcomes because they had a reason to be where they were. They had a reason why they should stay sick. This is not conscious. They're not actively like me, I should stay sick because of this, but.
When you start to ask better questions, you start to realize why there's a benefit to the drawback, quote unquote. So there were people that were sick, but if they weren't sick anymore, they were gonna lose the house they live in because they were being taken care of by someone. They were gonna lose the money they were getting because they were getting money from.
External sources, GoFundMe, et cetera, because they were better, because you know who's gonna, you don't need to be taken care of anymore. You're better now. Now you can get up, you can go live your life. You could go and get a job, et cetera. Like, they were going to not get love from certain people, love and attention that they were getting because they were sick.
You know, they had certain people like at their beck and call. So you always have to look at the bigger picture here. So I'm, I'm trying my darndest as a practitioner to help this person get better, but there's actually a significant motive as to why they shouldn't get better. Because they're gonna lose either people in their life, they're gonna lose money in their life, they're gonna lose a roof over, over their head.
They're gonna lose certain things. And so you, as a person, you have to think about. Why are you holding onto certain things that keep coming back in cycles? Why does it keep coming up? Is it because you haven't learned the lesson? Is it because you, you're delegating your happiness, you're delegating your personal growth to someone else?
You think someone's gonna save you, or you realize that there is a drawback to that elevated version of yourself, that you are scared you're gonna lose something, someone. So we need to be really, really conscious of our participation in our own personal growth journey. But also secondarily to that is you shouldn't be working with people that aren't committed to doing the work themselves.
It's the idea of practicing what you preach. You are working with someone who. You know, you're working with a psychologist or a psychiatrist who's actually highly medicated because they're extremely unhappy and they really struggle with depression because they haven't necessarily found the tools to overcome their trauma.
How are they helping you overcome your trauma? If you haven't walked the walk, you cannot share the wisdom. This isn't about knowledge. This is about fucking wisdom. This is about the experience. This is about overcoming hard shit in order for you to be able to share the wisdom with others. You know, you know how many practitioners that I have coached, I have spoken to at different seminars that I've held that they are, they're, they're sick, they're extremely, they're sick, they're burnt out.
Do you know how many business coaches I have spoken to, and worked with or been in the same room with that are broke, but they're money coaches? Like I, I stopped being part of a lot of business coaching programs because there were two things that I saw. One is people coaching on shit that they have not achieved.
AKA, I'm a money coach, but they're broke. Then two were, oh, I'm actually crushing it and my business is doing really well financially, but I'm spiritually broke. My relationship broke, and I'm healthy. So really at the end of the day, we should be interviewing these people that we're asking advice from.
When you look at someone, do they have all the buckets full? Do they have the bucket's full for, for what you perceive as a good life? You know, for me, my primary goal is to be able to have quality time and quality relationships with my family because that is foundationally extremely important. Because if I didn't have that, what do I really have?
And that's for me. I want my business to serve my family and create generational wealth and freedom, and I want a business that allows me to do what I love and doesn't make me feel trapped, and doesn't make me feel stressed out and overwhelmed because then that takes away from my family.
I want to also, as a human, be a very forward outta the box thinker. I want to maintain my personal sovereignty. So if I'm going to seek out someone to help me get to the next level of my life, or the next level of my health, or the next level of my business, or the next level of my, my personal, you know, mental development, I'm gonna look for someone who's accomplished those things.
They're farther in the journey than I am. They've accomplished a higher level of freedom, a higher level of wealth, a higher level of, of family dynamics where they have more time and more freedom, and they've created massive generational wealth. Like I wanna learn from the someone who's from the person who's achieved what I haven't achieved yet.
So if you think about this from the perspective of your doctor alone, is your doctor in top tip, top health? But also is your doctor someone who has other buckets of life balanced? It's not just they're healthy, but they're spiritually broken, relationships broken, family broken. If those things are important to you, you know, think about it this way, okay?
You wanna get healthy, you need to work out mul every single day. You need to eat this way, which requires you to prepare meals every single day. And then you also need to do all these different therapies. You need to come to my office and you need to spend, you know, X amount of dollars and X amount of time.
Coming from the doctor that has health but is broken in all those other areas. So they're not looking at you from the perspective of how this person maintains family dynamics, relationship dynamics, social dynamics, business dynamics. It's just going balls to the wall and spending almost 24/7 focusing on your health because that's what you need to do.
That's not real life, and this is something that. I didn't really think about it, but a lot of my clients have said to me, they're like, you know, you just make this so digestible, accessible, and easy to implement. And I was like, well, that's great because that's what I'm trying to do. And I realize it's because at the foundation is that I.
I don't want to have my life be like, you know, I live and breathe health, and I'm constantly thinking about what I'm eating and exercising and this and that. I wanna make sure that I am spending quality time with my family, that I have very healthy relationships, I have a healthy social life, that I have a business that allows me to feel on purpose, and also allows me to create freedom.
For myself and my family. And I also want health, but I want health that is all about balance. I wanna be able to go out to eat and not worry about it and have a glass of wine here or there. I'm not gonna exercise every day. That's just not what I want to do. Do I wanna go out in nature? Do I wanna go in the sunshine?
Yes, I wanna do that, but am I gonna work out and lift weights for two hours a day? Hell no, and not for me. And. I don't expect my clients to do that either. It's all about the balance of life, and so I am going to tend to work with someone, and they're gonna get a lot out of what I do. If they value the same things.
They're like, I want health to be a piece of my life, but I don't want it to be what my life revolves around. Because I'm trying to gain health so that it serves the other parts of my life. I have health so that it serves my family, it serves my freedom, it serves my finances, it serves my business.
There's a lot of power in that. You're going, if you have a vision beyond the vision, you're going to achieve your goals. So if you think about that. If you say, I want better health because I want less symptoms, there's a high probability you're not gonna achieve that because what are you doing with that?
What are you doing to improve your health? What are you doing with less symptoms? If you're not doing anything with it, you're, the universe isn't giving it to you. No one's giving it to you. What's the vision beyond the vision? This is a question that I ask on our getting acquainted calls. What, why do you want better health?
What are you gonna do with it? If someone can't answer that question, I don't work with them because you're not gonna, you're not gonna, what I wanna do and how I wanna serve people is I want them to use their health as a catalyst to a better life. And if you don't wanna do that, you just want less symptoms and you wanna sit around with less symptoms.
I'm not interested. I don't want that to sound bad. It's just in the phase of life that I'm in. If I wanna be on purpose and I want to do the work that lights me up, that is gonna allow people to get the most out of it because I'm going to be at my best. Then it's someone who's like, I'm having a health obstacle.
I wanna get through this because I wanna do X, Y, and z. I have this vision for my life and I want to accomplish that. Vision and health is my roadblock right now. Fantastic. We are gonna be a perfect fit. But if you don't know what you wanna use better health for, then you have, you have more work to do before I would ever be a fit for you.
And that's just me being honest. So the whole point of this podcast is for you to think about who are you hiring to help you? Who are you delegating your beliefs and your thoughts to? Are they someone who has actually achieved the life or the goal that you are looking to achieve? Have they surpassed you?
Have they achieved a level of consciousness or a level of life that you want to achieve? And so now you wanna learn from them. 'cause they've already done it, they've experienced it, they've, they've overcome the challenges that you need to overcome. Or did you hire someone because they were in network with your insurance and now you think you're not getting results and you think it's just because this doesn't work?
I like I say it every time. I think I should really change my podcast. Podcast to be the thought provoking podcast because I'm just gonna drop that bomb on you guys. And you guys just marinate on that thought provoking. Alright guys, until next time.
